Renewing
by SereneDefiance
Summary: Hermione has been through a lot since the war. What will happen when she has to face those memories? How will those around her react when they hear the truth? Dramione eventually.
1. Chapter 1

I rolled over in bed, sighing as I watched the shadows play along my wall. The sun was setting. I pulled the top of my blanket over my head. This is who I am now. I sleep the days away. At least in the summer. I didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, as much as I love it. It brought back so many memories. A shiver overtook me viciously, so I sat up quickly.

I began my routine. I got up, with my blanket wrapped around me, and my wand drawn. I checked my bedroom windows and doors. All locked. Nothing in my closet or bathroom that didn't belong. So I unlocked and left my bedroom, checking each door as I went, all still locked. I continued through my house like this. When a popping sound came from the kitchen, I spun around and ran to see. I thought I knew who it was, but I was prepared if it wasn't.

Sure enough, there was Wopsy, the house elf. She gave me her best crooked smile, twirling as she walked toward me to show off a newly made green sweater. I smiled at her, "How are you this morning Wopsy?" She widened her grin as I stowed my wand in my trousers and she took my hand, "Mornin' miss Mione. Wopsy has breakfast in the dining. Come see," her whimsical voice soothed my nerves. I pulled out a chair for Wopsy and she pulled one out for me, insisting I sit first as she always did. I gave her the best attempt at a smile I could manage. She had removed the blanket from my shoulders and put my plate in front of me before I had even noticed.

She sat in the chair I had pulled out for her. It was her chair. Over time, we had added pillows to the chair until she sat at the perfect height for my dining table. I felt a pang in my heart as I looked down at the plate in front of me. She had made me a heart shaped pancake and decorated it to be a smiley face, with banana slices for eyes.

Her voice shook as she spoke, "Doesn't Mione like her breakfast?" I looked to her wide eyes, "Don't be silly. Of course I do." I gave her a small, but real smile. "Thank you Wopsy. You always do too much." She smiled and clapped her hands in excitement. "Oh thank you miss. Now eat Mione."

I was hungry but I really didn't want to eat. But I took my fork and knife out and cut a piece and forced myself to put it into my mouth for her. It was heavenly, and the first bite made my mouth water, waiting for more. I don't know why I try to resist since Wopsy makes the best food. I ate faster, adding a small amount of a strawberry syrup that she had made on top. Soon, she and I had nothing but a bit of extra syrup left on our plates. She snapped her fingers and our plates floated from the dining area to the kitchen. I sat back in my chair, smiling a little bigger now.

"Oh miss Hermione! I have another plate for us!" Wopsy was bouncing on the pillows in her seat and I could feel a laugh building in my chest and as our plates arrived at our table, we were both giggling. This time, the plate was decorated with fruit, eggs and ham sliced into strips. And it smelled delicious. I ate with more enthusiasm this time. I was so lucky to have Wopsy in my life. She makes me get out of bed when the nightmares get too bad, she makes me eat, she reminds me that there is still good in the world.

I stretched and picked up our dishes this time, "Allow me Wopsy. It's my turn to do the dishes." She smiled up at me and hopped down from her chair, following me into the kitchen. "I will help miss. Mione should not do all the work. Wopsy likes to help." I gently reminded her that she had already cooked but she would not have it. Instead she pulled up the stool to stand near the sink where the drying rack was. This was one thing I liked to do just as my parents once did. I enjoy doing the dishes by hand, at least when there are only a few.

I looked out the window above my sink to the weather outside. It was snowing. The moonlight reflecting off of the white made it look so inviting, so bright. The small field behind my house was a blanket of fluffy white. I sighed in contentment. I loved the snow, even if it was cold. My favorite season would of course always be the spring, but there was just something about the fluff that made me feel warm.

Dishes done, I dismissed myself to take a bath. Amidst the bubbles and steam, I let myself relax. I knew Wopsy was here. I knew the wards around the house would not let anyone too close. I knew I could not be reached. No one could hurt me here. No one could find me here. I took a cloth gently across my body, leaving my arm for last. I took it slowly over the words carved into my skin. I had tried to remove them, had asked again and again how to rid myself from the marks. But they seemed to be a permanent fixture. Mudblood. I tried to forget about that, and resumed my wash. Letting the warmth sink into me.

After satisfying myself that I was as clean as I could get, I drained the tub and dried myself. I donned a pair of heavy pants to protect myself from the cold, a long sleeved shirt, followed by a sweater and headed down the hall of my one story house. Wopsy was in the entryway, seemingly aware of my plans. She smiled and handed me my coat before shrugging on her own, "Mione wishes to see the snow?" I nodded with a smile and I handed her a pair of mittens I had recently made for her and put on my own before taking her hand, "Let's go."

We took off in a run, making circles and patterns in the snow with our footsteps. I began working on building a snowman and was about halfway through when I felt something hit my shoulder. I whirled around to see Wopsy peeking her head out from behind a short wall of snow waving at me. "A snowball fight?" As the words left my mouth she tossed another one at me. Quickly I began building my own fort, demolishing my snowman and using his body as part of it. Soon it was an all out battle as snowballs were tossed across the field. When she started using her powers, I began using my magic.

I imagine it would be an interesting sight to a muggle, small snowballs slowly growing larger as they flew. Beams of light occasionally making contact with snowballs and making them explode. Wopsy and I were laughing so loud, I was sure the whole forest surrounding the field could hear it.

We entered the house dripping wet and shivering, but sporting huge grins. Together we shrugged off the outer layers until we were left in naught but our underclothes. In the closet by the entryway, I had two robes, one for me, and a much smaller one for Wopsy, my friend. She quickly ran to the sitting room where the fireplace was and as I walked in, it was already ablaze and warming the room. I moved to the kitchen to make some hot cocoa. Taking two mugs of the steaming liquid and a small bag of miniature marshmallows, I went back to the sitting room to find Wopsy sitting on the soft rug in front of the fireplace, holding her hands out to feel the warmth.

I handed her one before setting myself down with my own. "Now you know you don't need to check up on me every day Wopsy. You don't belong to me. You don't belong to anyone but yourself, you know," Wopsy only nodded and popped a marshmallow into her mouth, accustomed to the short lecture I was giving her. I shook my head, "I don't know why you bother with me! It isn't like I ever go anywhere. Aside from to the market or to Hogwarts to teach. I mean, I hardly do anything." She placed her hand atop my own, "Wopsy does not stay out of obligation. Wopsy is free. Mione may not know it, but she needs Wopsy and her breakfast foods at dinner time. We are friends." I could not help the tears that began to fill my eyes and threatened to fall. This beautiful creature chose to befriend me when all others had left. She was the sun in my eternal night. And I loved her for it. Moving our mugs out of the way, I hugged her. "Thank you so much Wopsy."


	2. Chapter 2

I would never have thought I could feel so low. Each night I go through my routine, and generally, I do not go out during the day time now. I barely leave my house. I am not a prisoner to the house, but a prisoner to my mind. And I hate this! Some days I feel so close to normal. But this, I am so weak. Some Gryffindor I am, I am hardly brave. What is wrong with me?

In the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes are almost gone. Good thing, because I will need to go out and get supplies, for potions and food.

I hated being cooped up like this, but some days I can barely get out of my room. Terrified by the shadows my mind creates. How did I let myself become so meek?

I let out a frustrated scream, and turned quickly away from the mirror, leaving the bathroom. I put on some of my clothes haphazardly and boots not bothering to lace them before walking out of the house, not even looking to see if I closed the door all the way. I just started walking, trudging through the snow. I didn't pick up my feet all the way, and my feet left just a singular line of where I had been walking.

I was so frustrated with myself that the icy air felt great on my warm face, the moon was my guide as I trudged across my field, into the woods around my house. I entered the forest beneath a dark canopy of trees. Trees whose leaves had all fallen off for the winter months. I walked all the way the edge of my barrier, the one that kept people from finding me, kept people from accidentally walking into my area. And I stood there, watching the heat from my breath appear as misty fog in front of me.

I watched as the wind rustled the trees and bushes ahead of me, an evergreen shifted as an owl took flight. Was that just an owl? Or some animagi? Or could it have be someone's owl, sent here to look for me? Was this just my mind playing tricks on me?

I didn't even send my own owl from my house hidden here, I have another place I go when sending messages. That's where owl's deliver mail. Even for an owl to know where I live terrifies me! This is ridiculous. I took a breath and removed my wards, slowly, cautiously.

I moved through the snow past where the wards had previously been, into an area I haden't visited in some time. I replaced the majority of the wards before turning back to the area that I've kept myself from. I walked quietly and slowly at first, listening for any sounds that are out of the ordinary, that are not coming from myself or the wind. Soon I picked up my pace, walking faster, still leaving a line in the snow. Briefly I wondered if I should cover that, someone could find me. Panic overtook me. But then I just closed my eyes, took a breath, and apparated.

An alleyway in a muggle street. There were so few people around, I had little sense of time, but that told me it must be somewhere between 2 and 5 AM. I was not far from the Leaky Cauldron, so I headed in that direction.

As I walked, I watched all around me; as nonchalantly as could be I tried to stay aware of my surroundings. For some reason the darkness here didn't terrify me as much as it used to. I slowed my pace and took in a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment to feel the air around me. I reopened them just as a hooded figure came out of an alleyway, just a few blocks from the Leaky Cauldron. "Oi!" A male voice. A familiar male voice. My mind was screaming and I felt frozen as I realized who I had just collided with. My body had already reacted, I was walking the opposite direction from him and my pace resumed it's speed. I ignored his mumblings and continued away from my destination.

This couldn't happen. I pulled my collar up over my nose as I was practically running now. The tears on my face freezing and I couldn't even stop to rid myself of them. When I could no longer hear him or movements apart from the wind I dipped into another alleyway. I collapsed against the brick wall, taking stock of where I was and then released a short breath. I sunk down, crouching with my face in my hands. I couldn't break down here, I had to get up and move, but my body wouldn't obey my command.

How foolish. I breathed in slow, soft footsteps were approaching. I managed to stand and attempted to keep my face from view, hiding in the shadows like a criminal.

The person did not seem to notice me at first, but just as they were about to pass by, they paused. They hesitated before asking, "Are you alright?" What small world this is. Another familiar male, his voice, slightly deeper than usual, almost as if he were sick. Did I dare respond? Did I disappear? No he could follow me. I cleared my throat, "I'm more than fine, thank you." I attempted to go around him and to my surprise he gave me a wide berth. I looked up quickly, his face white as the snow as he recognized me. His eyes grew wide, shining in the moonlight. He looked down at his feet, "Pardon the intrusion then," he began to back away, but he glanced up once more and his eyes locked on my face. His mouth seemed to mouth my name, but I couldn't hear a thing.

My heart was racing and memories were flooding me, screams echoed in my mind and I felt dizzy. I couldn't say a word as he stared at me. I was open and vulnerable, locked in the floodplain.

I hardened my stance, trying to break myself from the past, "Could you repeat that?" His eyes narrowed at the ground as he glanced away, "Have a good night, or morning. Whichever it is for you. Be well." He looked as though he wanted to say more, but the next thing I knew, he turned and briskly walked away from me. As he rounded a corner the last thing I caught was a flash of his silvery hair as his hat flew off of his head.

That sight awakened me. Draco Malloy had lost his hat to the wind. I let out a hysterical giggle. When he was at Hogwarts, he would've turned and cursed the wind for its animosity towards him. And that sight playing in my head made me realize I didn't want to be who I used to be. He did not come back for his hat. Now aware of what had happened, I rushed to pick up his hat from the ground. But he was nowhere to be seen. If I ever saw him again, I was determined to return it to him.

I tucked it into my pocket, and turned to stare toward the Leaky Cauldron. I was determined now. I refuses to let anyone prevent me from accomplishing my mission.

This time around, I did not close my eyes except to blink. I wiped the frozen tears from my face and straightened out my clothes as best I could. As I entered the building, the sudden warmth made me realize just how long I must have spent in the alley way.

There were only a few people inside, one of which appeared to be dozing with his head on the table. I went to the secret entrance to Diagon Alley, this was farther than I had made it in some time now. For moment I was proud of myself, but I shoke that off. I entered the magical market just as the sun began to rise. Just a few places open this early, the first of which being Gringotts, my first destination.

As I passed by the storefronts, all sorts of memories came back to me. When all the girls were fawning over Lockhart, the dragon ride away from the Gringotts vaults, my first ever trip to Ollivander's. As I entered the bank, not a single goblin looked up, just as I remembered, and as I preferred. I intentionally walked to the goblin that liked me the least. Griphook looked much healthier than last I saw. His scar was healed now fully, and much fainter. I'm not sure if he hadn't tried or wanted to attempt to remove it, or if it was much like my own. I rubbed my arm through my sweater and looked up at him. "Ah, Miss Granger. You've come for a visit? No? I assume you would like access to your vault then."

I nodded, "You look well Griphook. Yes I would. Do you mind?" He gave me half a scowl, "Of course I mind, but I will escort you." Our conversation was much more pleasant than the last we spoke, and longer in fact. We went quietly to my vault, as he opened the door I was a little shocked. "He took more than you were expecting?" Griphook almost sounded apologetic, I nodded. The vault was a lot emptier than last I visited, and I haden't spent that much of my savings. He took it. When he was just going to pick up a few things. Taking my money without my knowledge. It was Griphook who contacted me about the allowance I had set on my account so that I would continue to have a set amount of money in my vault. Told me about how he was close to meeting that allowance. I should have known he would, before we completely divorced. I finally had my account restricted from him once I was out of the house.

I took what I needed and a tad more just in case, and we slowly walked back toward the entrance. Griphook cleared his throat, "I would like to apologize for not alerting you earlier. As he was your husband and as you had given him access, I did not realize there was a problem. Gringotts should like to be the safest place for you to store your gold. But as you are very well aware, things can happen." I nodded down to him, "Thank you Griphook. I don't think I ever thanked you for telling me. So thank you for that as well. He hasn't tried recently has he?" He shook his head and I let out a breath. Good, at least he had stopped trying to get that from me.

I parted ways with Griphook and he went back to his seat as I exited the building. Now that more of the shops were opening up, I could smell the fresh baking breads and treats from the nearby shops. I would have to stop by and grab a puff pastry for Wopsy before I left.

I made my through the shops, stopping at Borgen and Burks amongst other places picking up the numerous ingredients and things that I would need. I stopped in Ollivander's just as he opened the door. He greeted me with a smile, "Oh Hermione Granger. It has been some time now." His smile was infectious and I couldn't help but return it, he looks good. So much better now that the war had passed. "I'm sorry for not visiting you sooner Mr. Ollivander. Would you like me to bring you a pastry on my way home?" He held his hand out to me, inviting but not commanding. I slowly slipped one of my hands into his and he patted it gently with his other hand. The physical contact felt so odd, but he just held my hand, patting it as he spoke, "You don't have to get me a thing dear. I'm just glad to see you out and about. Send me an owl every once in a while so that I may know you still roam the earth." He released my hand with a twinkle in his eye, the edges of his eyes crinkling up as he smiled. "Alright Mr. Ollivander. I'll make sure to write you," I smiled even bigger and gave out a quick laugh as we talked for a short time more before I headed out the door with a wave.

As I was finishing buying up the last of my things, the market place began to fill with people. I headed quickly to buy my pastries before it became too crowded. This was why I did not want to return to Hogwarts. The crowds, the chatter. There was far too much of it for me to feel confident. I couldn't even feel confident in my own home yet.

I purchase four pastries and make my way through the crowd to Ollivander's. He grins at me as I drop it off while he assists a new young witch finding her first wand. The look on her face as it chooses her. This is true magic. Not what we produce, but the feelings we have, the reactions we share.

I exited quickly and made my way from Diagon Alley. I made sure everything was nice and neat inside my newly purchased bag, since I had forgotten to bring one on my way out the door, and I found a place secluded enough to leave from and apparated back to my forest.

I followed my footprints back to the edge of my wards. Had I put them back up? No!? Wait, yes. Yes I did, a sigh of relief came out of me as I removed them and stepped closer to my house. I spent time replacing the wards before I relaxed again and finished heading toward the house.

Once inside, I drew my wand and quietly checked each room before heading upstairs to finish my sweep to make sure nothing was out of place, and there were no intruders. I took my things to the kitchen, placing all things that needed to stay cool or be frozen inside the fridge. Everything has a place, and everything appeared to be in place.

I sat by the fireplace, covering my feet with a blanket. The crackle of the fire was comforting. My day, though it would seem to most as uneventful, was a struggle for me. To be home and away from all the noise now was pleasant. I was in fact so relaxed, that I quickly began to doze off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! I hope you're enjoying the story so far! After this chapter, I am going to try to post an update every two weeks. I wanted to get the first few chapter up and published before I head out of town. Anyway, thanks for reading!**

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I woke with a start, sweat rolling down my face. What an awful dream. If only it were just a dream.

My eyes darted around the room, this wasn't like me. I never fell asleep down here. Immediately, I drew my wand and took in my surroundings. What was happening to me? I slowed my breathing and calmed myself as I did another security check around the house. I whispered, "Wopsy?" A popping sound alerted me to her entrance, "Miss Mione. Are you alright?" I sunk to the floor and gave her a small smile, "I'm fine, thank you for coming Wopsy." I reached out to her and she came over to my side to embrace me. I let out a shaky breath and we laughed. I glanced up and out one of the windows, it appeared to have been dark for some time now. Together we went into the kitchen and began to make some sort of a stew.

"Oh, I brought you this pastry Wopsy! It's your favorite flavor," I smiled as I hand her one. "Pumpkin is Wopsy's favorite! Thank you Mione. Shall we eat these together while the stew, well, stews?" I laughed, she was the best. She was the friend I needed when everything started changing in my life. After S.P.E.W. got up and running, she was the first house elf that was freed from a family that had chained her. She was so thin, and hardly even had a sack to cover her frail body.

She was so weak that she could barely use her own magic at the time. I cared for her, helped to see that she received the medical attention that she needed. Got her to eat slowly, and over time increasing the amount of food so her body would not reject it. Together we showed the Magical World why S.P.E.W. deserved to be heard. And now they didn't even need us, people were breaking traditions and leaving old habits and prejudices behind them. It isn't to say that there wasn't still some resistance. And not everyone would change their way of thinking. But what change it had made was pretty dramatic.

It made me so happy to know that I could be a part of something like that. Freeing those that cannot free themselves. And those that do not wish to be free? There are many families that are afraid to free their house elves because they do not want to be without them, but offered them the choice. Those were often the families that have always treated their house elf companions as equals, or even as family. Those were often the elves that did not wish to leave. Some took the freedom, but did not leave the family that they were a part of. Others did not feel comfortable taking the offer and serve the families just as they had always done. But they would not live in abuse.

No one deserved to be abused. Not a single living creature deserved abuse.

Wopsy chose to stay with me. She came and went as she pleased and she was not required to live here. In fact, she had her own house now. It wasn't much, but she liked it just the way it was. She often reminded me that she chose it, so my opinion doesn't matter on the subject. And I was glad for her ferocity when it came to things like that. It showed what kind of soul she had. She never backed down on things that mattered to her. She was a lot like me when I was younger now that I think about it… I wonder if I could be as great as her one day.

As we sat down with our stew, I told her all about my day at the market and the strange encounters I had beforehand. "Oh Mione, Wopsy should have been with you. At least to keep an eye out for weirdos like that blonde man." I nearly spit out my stew, "He isn't so weird. Though he was acting awfully strange. He's just a person I used to know." She hurrumphs, "I know about the Malfoy family Miss Mione. I knew Dobby, he brought me water and bread. As good as his heart was, they treated him like a toy to be broken. Wopsy knows that feeling." Her words were like knives that went right through me, memories of my own experiences at Malfoy Manor flashed in my mind before I nodded. Wopsy continued, "He told me the boy wasn't always so bad. Sometimes he could even be pleasant. But if the long haired master was around there would be no niceties to be found at all. And Wopsy knows people can change. But Wopsy also knows that not everyone will. Will you be careful when you go out without me? Wopsy just doesn't want Mione to get hurt."

With a small smile I nodded, "When am I ever not careful? Everything I do is careful. Too careful at times don't you think?" She laughed a little and agreed with me. "I plan on going out again tonight. I think it would be good for me to try and be out and about more." Wopsy nodded fiercely, "Oh yes. And Mione can just call Wopsy if she needs anything. Especially if you run into him again. Not the Malfoy boy but the other one." I nodded and took a small bite of stew, I would definitely have to be more careful of running into him again.

Around five in the morning, I dressed in warmer clothing than the night before and laced my boots up properly this time. Wrapping a scarf around my neck and face, I left the house with a wave to Wopsy. I didn't know if it would ever be easy, leaving my place of security to enter the world where nothing was certain. But I was determined to stop being a coward locked away.


	4. Chapter 4

As I repeated my performance of the previous night with the wards, I felt the air shifting around me. I could not tell if it was my imagination, or if the weather was just changing. But it unsettled me as I apparate to the same alley way. I hid in the shadows as slow footsteps approached, the blonde head from yesterday walked by, this time seemingly without noticing me. Malfoy without his hat. I patted my pockets, it was still in my coat pocket from yesterday. I wanted to give it to him, but this did not seem to be an appropriate manner to disturb him. I wouldn't be too happy about someone coming out of a dark alley saying my name.

I left it alone and waited some time before heading out of the alley myself and toward the Leaky Cauldron. I pulled my scarf tighter, the wind seemed to be chillier today.

When I entered the building there were a few more people inside, some talking, most reading the Daily Prophet or the Quibbler. Both papers were now quite popular amongst the general population.

Sam waved to me from behind the bar and I went to sit there, "What will it be Miss Granger? I haven't seen you in a long time now! First pick is on the house today for you."

"Could I just have a butter beer and a pastry if you have any?" He smiled, "Sure thing! Both are ready and available. I'll be right back." He walked off to fetch them and I looked around the area with a sense of content. This was normal, this was alright. I turned back just as Sam came back with a glass and a small plate. "Thanks Sam, you are great." He smiled and handed me one of the Quibbler papers before he went to talk to another customer.

I slowly relaxed. It would take time to readjust to doing normal things. I stayed there, eventually moving to a table drinking tea after my initial butter beer, reading the Quibbler as I do so. A short article on Wrackspurts caught my eye. I read it with a smile, Luna had apparently found proof enough of them that they would become a "New Species" in the book of monsters. I was so engrossed in her article that I did not even realize who had decided to join me.

"Hello Hermione."

Not him.

I froze, using the paper in my hands as a shield before I got a grip on myself. I didn't want him to know he could still scare me. In a voice so calm, I would hardly believe it was possible I said, "What do you need Ronald?" I lowered the paper, looking as disinterested as possible. He was grinning that lopsided grin of his. My heart fluttered, but not for love of him. My body ached, soreness rising within me, spreading to every limb. His grin grew wider as if he could tell what I was experiencing, the bastard.

"What a surprise it was to run into you yesterday, no pun intended. But an even bigger surprise to find you here! How long has it been now? At least a year, or has it been longer? Funny it still feels like yesterday to me," he chuckled and reached for my hand. I snatched it away just before he could reach me, "Funny, I can hardly remember, feels like ages to me." He leaned back in the chair across from me, "Can you forget me so easily? Tch, I don't think you can. Miss know-it-all could never forget something so quickly. Tell me, has someone else been ruffling your hair lately? Or even better, your sheets? Oh did I strike a nerve? Of course I did. No one wants the highly unattractive Hermione Granger. What have you ever done truly well in your life outside of pass tests? Hm? You were such an easy pawn," he leaned in close to whisper, "I had a ball with you. Making sure that you fell for everything. You're too easy. Just a weak willed girl. Strong minded, but such an utter disappointment in the end." He sighed, "Of course mother never stops asking for you. There's nothing special about you, so why does she even bother?"

I had no comebacks for him. I knew I was useful in the search for the horcruxes, but he always could explain it away. He was right on one account. I was too easy to fool. He played me better than I ever could have imagined. The ungrateful git, played the fool quite well, and I underestimated him. Of all the people in the world, he was the last person I would've suspected to be such a cruel person at the heart of his being.

Worst of it all, I still wasn't prepared for this. I wished I could just walk away, but my feet were glued to the floor. I tried my best to stay as remote and uncaring as possible, but he knew me too well. I wouldn't be so stupid as to fight back in public anyway, not after what happened before. He let out a short sigh, "You know I almost miss the fire in your eyes? I've had my fun torturing you today. Anymore and it won't be fun anymore. You distance yourself eventually. I'll be going now, but remember, I know these streets like the back of my hand. I'll be seeing you." He winked at me and walked off as if nothing had happened.


	5. Chapter 5

By the time I made it back to the house and repeated my security measures, I felt filthy. Absolutely filthy. I started the shower and hopped in, scrubbing every inch of my skin fiercely. The hot water couldn't burn away the feeling of his hands, the soap couldn't wash the grimy feeling from my skin. I took the wash cloth and scrubbed even harder, my shoulders, my knees, my face. I scrubbed until every inch of me felt raw. There were not even tears, just this overwhelming suffocation. When the water began to turn pink swirling down the drain I knew I had to stop. But it was so difficult. I dropped the cloth and just stood in the fiery water. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the shower wall.

Slowing my breathing, I finally turned the water off. I checked my body over trying to figure out where I had rubbed through my skin. My hip had fresh blood seeping from it. I cast a charm to slow my bleeding and dried myself quickly. In my cabinet I kept healing salves for this reason alone. As I applied it I thought again to myself, how could I fall so low?

The fire in my heart had all but vanished, just a dim ember. What was I to do with myself now?

I had to go back out. I had things to do if I was to prepare myself to go back to Hogwarts. I needed to go back, I wanted to go back. Those students depend on me, or at least that's what I told myself. I couldn't earn any money sitting around my house every day. I suppose I could have brewed potions and sold those…No! What was I doing still? I had to go back out today, or else I would have lost all the progress I had made! I'd already taken steps back by returning to my house. I could not allow myself to react this way.

I redressed myself and headed out quickly.

This was nonsense. Ronald Weasley would not continue to be my downfall, I refuse. Hermione Granger will not sit by and allow him to continue to keep me down. Godric help me to be brave, Merlin protect me.

Enough was enough. I went to a small shed just off of my property and used the floo network.

"Ministry of Magic."

The crackle was brief and then I was there, surrounded by witches and wizards. The crowd was enormous, but I would do this. I should've done this a long time ago. I found my way to the Department of Civil Affairs and waited as patiently as possible for the next representative. I sat mostly staring down at my hands, my body was sore from my excessive scrubbing and it was tender anytime I moved. But as someone crouched in front of me, I snapped back, "Harry!"

His lightning scar as unmistakable as ever, there he was. His green eyes shining brightly, "Hermione! I am so glad to see you!" He looked as if he were about to burst with joy, "You practically disappeared out of the world! How long were you planning on hiding from me?" It wasn't him I was hiding from. Though it was good to see a friendly face, he still wasn't fully aware of what had transpired between myself and Ronald. "Hi Harry," I did my best to smile at him. "What on earth are you doing here in this department? Aren't you an Auror now?" He grinned, "Yes, I actually came to speak with one of the reps about a case. How about you, nothing serious I imagine?" He took on a different air with the last words, how could I tell him. "Nothing too bad, Harry. No need to worry yourself."

"You can tell me Hermione. You are still welcome at my house anytime, my offer still stands. Ginny won't bother you, she misses you just as much as I do," he took one of my hands and it took a lot for me not to wince at the touch. "I know Harry, I really appreciate that. Maybe I'll come by for tea sometime." He stands and releases my hand, "That is what you said months ago. How about two weeks from now? Ginny has had her hands full with the boys lately and they will be off visiting Charlie for a time, so we won't have any bothersome little ones running around while you visit. What do you say?" I looked up at him, with his smile so full of hope. I missed the boys, but I didn't want them seeing me while I was still in this condition. I sighed, "Alright Harry. I will come by. How about that Tuesday then?" He clapped his hands together, "Perfect. I will see you then. I have to get back to work for now." He walked off with his robe fluttering behind him.

Shortly after, it was my turn to speak with someone. "Ah, Miss Granger? I am Edgar, how may I assist you today?" I took a seat in front of the man before me, "I wish to file a restraint against someone. It is very important to me that this happens, will you help me to make sure I do this properly?" He nodded, "Of course Miss. Let me gather some things, who is this against?"

"Ronald Weasley," he looked a bit surprised as he lids the paperwork out. "You were married yes? Alright, I need you to sign here and here, and I need some more information on the matter." I told him as much as I could manage to discuss. His eyes grew darker with every word. "What a tragedy ma'am. Yes, I can see why you feel so strongly about having this done. Is there anything else I need to know before we finalize these?" I could not tell him anymore I had already told him so much, my body was shaking with the thought of it. "No sir, I really appreciate your help in this matter." He nodded silently.

I was not sure how much time we spent filling out and filing the paperwork. But he told me the restraint would begin the following day, and if it were violated I was to report it immediately. It was a restraint for the rest of my life and even after. If I were buried he would not be allowed to visit my grave even, a protection spell would be placed in order to ensure that he could not touch me at my final resting place. Unfortunately, there was not anything major that could be placed around me for my everyday life, nothing permanent at least. For the next few days I would have some minor charms though, keeping me from his sight while he processed the fact that I had done this, in order to keep me out of his path, because as with most people, they are most angry as soon as something happens. Maybe he would accept it and settle down after he had those few days to take it all in.

I could only hope.

With a small weight taken off of my shoulders, I lifted my head up more confidently this time as I walked to the Leaky Cauldron. As I entered I caught Sam's attention and went quickly to him, "I am so very sorry for leaving so abruptly. I realized after I got home that I hadn't paid for all of my bill yesterday, what do I owe you?" He looked at me in surprise, "You bill was paid ma'am. After you left a gentleman came up and said he would be taking care of your bill along with his own." I shook my head, Ron wouldn't have done that. And he had left before me, so who could it have been? "Who was it Sam?" He nodded to the corner of the room, "There he is at the table in the back."

Before he could say anymore I approached the man, he had a hood up and a copy of the Quibbler in front of him blocking my view. "Is this seat taken? I hear that you paid my bill yesterday and I wanted to thank you and return the favor by paying you back," I slowly sat down as he lowered the paper. Those eyes were surely as surprised as I was. I found myself sitting across from Draco Malfoy. "Oh." It was all I could say, his eyes looked down and away as he folded up the paper and set it lightly on the table.

"I apologize for not being who you might have expected," his voice was soft, velvety smooth, not at all what I might have expected. "Malfoy, I…" His eyes shot to mine. His face was emotionless, but his eyes looked almost afraid. I forgot what I had come to do for a moment, and then I remembered the image I had of him if he had run for his hat. I smiled as I reached into my coat pocket, "I believe I have something that belongs to you." I reached across the table, his hat in my hand. His face changed for a moment showing his surprise, and a glimpse of something else. "Why..?" His hand extended toward mine slowly, as if he were trying not to scare me, our hands lightly brushed as he took the hat from me.

"You left in such a hurry, I don't know if you even noticed it fly off. It was such a chilly night, I scooped it up before it could get dirty. I was going to return it then, but you had disappeared," I felt the need to explain. He looked at me with such a kind smile at that moment, I could hardly believe that this was the Draco Malfoy I knew at school. The boy I had punched for being a mean old git, had turned into a man. But had he really changed? I could remember the look on his face as I was in the manor, it was almost sad as he looked at me on the floor. I shook my head to clear the memory.

"Thank you for returning this to me, it's my favorite hat you see. I returned for it this morning but it was nowhere to be found. I am grateful that you held on to it for me," his posture was stiff, but not like he used to be. "Who are you and what have you done with Draco Malfoy?" He turned his head from me, his face becoming pink, "I don't know what you speak of Granger. I am simply thanking you. Wouldn't you thank someone for returning something precious?"

Precious? A hat is precious to him? What world am I living in? I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips, but soon I was all out laughing. This was not at all how I expected my day to go, least of all how I expected to run into him again. When I caught my breath, the strangest thing was that he hadn't left. And he did not appear to be mad, if anything he looked sad. Without thinking about it I reached across and took one of his hands that was laying on the table, now a slight fist. I rubbed his hand until it opened, no longer fist shaped and then, realizing what I had done I drew back, "I'm sorry. Thank you for paying my bill. Let me know if there is something I can do to repay you. Excuse me." With that I left the shocked Draco Malfoy sitting at the table and rushed out the door.

My heart was pounding, what was I doing, and where was I going? His grey eyes were all I could see as I rounded corner after corner trying to flee the situations I seemed to be putting myself in. Is this how I plan to live every day? I stopped in my tracks. Encounter something strange or upsetting and run away? What kind of Gryffindor does that?

"Miss Granger!" He followed me? Of all things, this was the last thing I expected. There was too much happening. He seemed out of breath as he approached me, "Miss Granger. Would it be alright if I escorted you? I don't want you to have an encounter like this morning." So he saw that, he must have felt sorry for me. Paid for me out of pity, and now wants to see me safely home? Tough luck on that. However, the idea of seeing what he has become intrigued me, and I did have some errands still to run. What good would it do for me to run away from him anyway? He already caught up to me once. What were his motives?

"Yes, that would be alright," I nodded. I didn't feel quite right about the situation, but I agreed because I want to know what is going on in the world. And if I was dreaming then nothing bad can come of this.

He looked almost happy at my answer, how odd. Together we walked in awkward silence. As we walked he replaced his hat upon his head, "Try not to lose it this time? The wind can be quite devious when it comes to head attire." He let out a short bark, "Was that a laugh from you? I can't recall ever hearing you laugh before. I must say, it wasn't very good. Seems you might need to practice that." A mixture of emotions played across his face, but he nodded, "It does appear so. It didn't sound very pleasant even to my own ears." He grinned down at me as we continued on our way, the silence not so awkward now, was almost comfortable. Almost.

At every glimpse of red hair I averted my eyes, just in case Ronald were to be nearby. We went from store to store looking at things I might need for more healing salves and things Wopsy might like. By the time the sun was setting, I realized I have spent far too much time awake during the day. When was the last time I slept? With a yawn I looked over at Draco. He hadn't said much since he laughed earlier. But he had come with me to every store now. He was looking at some small carved wooden elephant as I observe him. He had done nothing but open doors for me, and follow me, even offered to carry one of my bags. I didn't understand. He looked up and caught me staring, he put the elephant down as if he was embarrassed and walked to my side, "Is there something wrong? Do you need something?"

His behavior was so uncharacteristic. What have I been doing all day with him? "Is this some sort of a trick Malfoy?" The words are out before I can stop them, and even to my own ears they sound harsh. He didn't move, barely blinked an eye at my words, "No. I don't know what I would be tricking you with. But this is no trick I assure you." I could tell he is hurt by my abruptness, but he did his best to put back his façade. I nodded and we walked out of the store, "Was there something you wanted to talk to me about, is that why you wanted to come with me today? Or were you really just worried about me running into Ronald?"

He seemed to ponder my question, as if he really didn't have an answer. I slowed my walk and inspected his face as he considered things, "Honestly, I have no idea what I am doing. I go through every day without a plan. I hardly pay any attention to where I go or what I do. I spend so much time by myself now a days, trying not to be in the way mostly I think. But after I saw you in that alleyway, and then again at the Leaky Cauldron with the Weasley, and for a third time today, I felt like there was a reason I was seeing you so often and so suddenly. I don't know why, and you of all people know divination was never anything I truly believed in. Even you made fun of that class. Though I think you only made fun of it because Trelawny called you out in front of the whole class, saying something about not having the eye for it?"

I paused in my step. This was an odd encounter indeed, three times within such a short time frame. Maybe there was something in his line of thought, or maybe he was finding things where he wanted to. If he really goes every day alone, and without a plan, maybe he was lonely. Maybe he had always been lonely. I leaned against the brick siding of a building, looking up at him from this angle, he seemed genuine in his speech, his face a cloud of confusion, and he avoided looking at me directly. "I'm sorry for accusing you of some sort of trick, but I don't think you can really blame me." A smirk reminiscent of his younger days comes across his face, "No, I couldn't very well blame you for it. After everything I've put you through." He looked at me with glistening eyes, the smirk gone, he leaned against the brick next to me, "I'm sorry Hermione."

I'm not sure what had been the largest shock to me now today, his apology, or the fact that he called me by my first name. From what I can remember he has never done that before. Never. We stood frozen like that for some time, just looking at each other. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, breaking eye contact with me and looking out at the people around. I pushed off from the wall, "Well I have one more stop if you'd like to come with me." He nodded and suddenly becomes rigid, he took my hand and led me into an alley, he put his hand over my mouth and muttered a concealment charm quickly. Is this what I get for allowing him to come with me? For letting me guard down? I suppose I deserved it.

But his grip was gentle; he removed his hand from my mouth to point toward a small group of people exiting a shop. As I looked I realized why he had done this. Ron was boasting to some women surrounding him, "That big nasty snake had no chance against me. I ripped it's fang out of its mouth and swung. It didn't last for long!" They were all laughing, cooing at his story. What arrogance. He made himself sound so grand, when really, we took that fang from the skeleton. Honestly we were lucky it still had venom in it. I tried to take a step back, and ended up bumping against Draco's chest. His hand moved to my shoulder, as if to keep me from falling, or to keep me from backing up any more, I'm not entirely sure which. Reluctantly, I stayed put, afraid to move again.

Even after Ron had passed, I did not want to move. Not until he was long gone. Draco patted my shoulder lightly, "Hey, do you want to go somewhere else? It would be harder for him to interrupt your day if we left this area." I could only nod but as he wrapped an arm around me I grew confused, rigid as a board under his touch, "I know it's hard to ask this of you, but trust me for a moment. I'll let you go once we arrive." I nodded once more and then we disappeared.

I'm not entirely sure where we went, but the area was quiet. A small abandoned park it looked like. A rusty swing set, indentations still in the ground from where a jungle gym most likely had been. He released my shoulder but lingered for a moment, my hand still in his. Then he released it, "Are you alright? I'm sorry if I frightened you." He ran a hand through his hair again and walked to the swing set. He took a seat after dusting off the snow, slowly pushing himself back and forth with his feet, just rocking.

I took in the surrounding area, there are pathway entrances it seems, leading in different directions through the trees. "Where are we?" I could hear the sound of muggle cars passing in the distance, so we must not be far from a road or a town. "We aren't far from Knockholt. It's not terribly far from London, just more secluded. My mother used to take me to this park when I was younger. There is a small market in town that caters to magic folk. You only have to know what to say upon entering." He looked up and leaned his face against the rusty chain of the swing, watching the clouds swirling above.

I joined him on the swings, dusting off the seat and giving the chains a good tug to see if they were still stable. I could see why he might like this place, it was serene. Close enough to a population to make sure you didn't feel lost, but far enough away to be peaceful. We sat, both watching the clouds overhead as I slowly let myself enjoy the serenity, strangely calm again. A light buzzing sound, similar to that of a snitch came from one side of me. I searched for the sound and nudged Draco lightly as my eyes landed on a small yellow creature. "Look," I whispered to him.

"What? I don't see anything," he was looking in every direction except that of the bird. "There on that tree branch. It's a Golden Snidget!" His eyes went wider, "I thought they were extinct?" It ruffled through its feathers seemingly unaware of our observations. I shook my head, "No but they are quite rare. Did you know that before there were Golden Snitches in Quidditch, those tiny birds were used? It's horrible. They would release one of those birds and as soon as someone would catch it in their hand, the bird would die. Just like that. They are such small fragile things. And apart from being fast, they are practically defenseless."

"That's where the idea of the snitch came from? Because too many birds were dying? I quite like the idea of the snitch in the game. I like the opportunity it can give to the teams, either helping you to win, or to end a horrible match before too much pride is lost. That would make sense why it signifies the end of a game. The end of a life." His voice took on a somber tone. The bird looked up at us, fluttering it's wings it took off, just as quick as ever. The wings were hardly noticeable in the air, it looked like a small yellow ball as it flew toward us. It circled Draco's head twice before landing on top of his hat.

The puzzlement on his face made me snort, and he didn't dare move, "What's it doing?"

"It seems to be warming itself, possibly even taking a nap," It was one of the most amusing sights I had ever seen. Draco's mouth wide open as the bird began to nest on top of his hat. He was so stiff, trying not to dislodge the bird as he turned to look at me, "I'm quite glad they implemented the snitch then. Otherwise, this situation never would have happened. All these tiny creatures would have disappeared from the world. A loss of innocence that didn't deserve such a cruel fate." His eyes pierced mine, there was a hint of wonder on his face. The bird pecked once at his head and his eyes widened.

The sincerity in his voice as he made such a claim, he had changed in some manner I could hardly fathom. And the ridiculousness that he didn't flinch away as the bird pecked at him, the pure amazement on his face was too much for me. All I could do was stare at him, with a small lump stuck in my throat.

I should really have taken a picture, but as I shifted on the swing, the bird took flight, it flew in front of his face briefly tilted it's head at him and flew off into the tree line. He visibly relaxed as he saw it fly away, "How strange." He turned to me, "I almost feel like I should have thanked the bird, is that incredibly odd of me?" I blinked, he wanted to thank the bird? What part of this situation wasn't odd about him? "No I don't think that is incredibly odd. Maybe just a tad, but not incredibly so." His smile grew and so did mine, "Thank you. Sorry if I have been acting weird. I don't quite know what to do with myself." He reached out toward my face and I flinched back a bit. His hand drew back, "Sorry, you have a hair curling across your face. I only meant to move it for you. I shouldn't have done so."

I swept my hair back behind my ears, "It's alright. It's actually not you that is the problem." I looked away, finally breaking eye contact with him. He seemed confused, "Does this have something to do with that Weasley boy? I say boy, because he hasn't seemed to have grown up yet. Still stuck in his Hogwarts years. He still hates me, rightfully so. I don't like him much either still. But not because of his name. Honestly Ginny was never rude to me. Percy was a git, and the twins could be kind at times. But they never went out of their way to treat me terribly unless I deserved it. Fred even helped me out of a hole once. How I fell into it, I still don't know. Come to think of it, he might have put the hole there, but he still helped me out of it, and didn't laugh at me or make me a joke. Not that he needed to. I was one of the biggest jokes at that school."

He kept rambling, and I was not entirely sure if he was even aware that he was saying so much out loud. He paused, "I apologize for going on."

"It's alright. It might have something to do with him. But it would only bore you," he extended his hand to mine, offering without demand. I took it as he helped me up. Releasing it he said, "I don't mean to pry. I only know what I saw while he sat across from you at the Leaky Cauldron. What I saw did not appear so pleasant," he paused for a moment, "Why don't we finish running your errands now and I will be out of your hair."

With that we left the playground and walked through the snow to the market nearby. The sky was starting to darken already as the snow crunched beneath our feet. The street lamps lit up as we approached a small shop. "Why hello folks, what can I do fer ya?" An older gentleman greeted us with a warm smile as we entered. On one side were small trinkets and devices, and the other were candies and spices. An odd combination if you ask me. "Afternoon. We were seeking some of your specialties today, do you have anything new?" With a twinkle in his eye the man nodded, "Of course! Right this way folks. I have a new specimen I might like to show you." We followed him to the back and up a flight of stairs. "Second door on the right, say allo and knock twice," with that he went back down the stairs to greet another customer. Draco led the way and followed the instructions before opening the door. The room was huge, lined with shelves holding books of all sorts, tables in the middle held potions and runes. A quiet humming sound came from one corner.

I followed the noise to find a small basket with a small fanged puffskein. It was so fluffy, and the coloring was something I had never seen before. I knelt before the basket, "Hello aren't you beautiful." The color was pale lavender and blue. "Do you think it's some kind of a mix? A cross between a pygmy and a fanged puffskein? Regular puffskeins have only appeared in pink and purple variations I thought. Wasn't the breeding of fanged puffs outlawed?" An older woman approached from one side of me and knelt with me by the basket, "Yes in fact. We didn't breed this little one though. My husband was walking through town and fell into a puddle. He had tripped on this little one here. It was scared and cold so we took it in. We don't intend on keeping it as we are old and it is young. Do you think you could find it a nice home deary?" The woman picked the puff up and placed it in one of my hands.

It nuzzled into my hand humming louder as it did so, "Is owning a fanged puffskein illegal?"

"No, just breeding them," Draco said from behind me. He was examining some sort of fish in a tube. He made a strange face, resembling that of the fish. In response the fish blew a bubble from it's large mouth. Draco smiled big at the fish before turning to me, "He seems to like you Hermione. Why don't you give it a home? Fanged puffs can make great companions. They are currently sought after as cuddly guards for children. They hum incessantly when strangers are too close. They aren't considered dangerous unless highly threatened."

Shaking my head, I said, "I won't take it with me unless it seems to want to go." I lift my hands with the puff closer to my face, "Do you want to come with me? Or would you like to stay here? I can put you down if you wish." It blinked up at me a few times before nuzzling into my hand again. I attempted to put it back into the basket and when I do so it's hum becomes almost like a whine. I reached my hand back to it and it jumped into my hand. "Well alright, I suppose that settles that then. I'm going to put you on my shoulder now." I lifted the creature onto my shoulder and it buried itself between my neck and collar, hiding under my hair.

The old woman smiled at me, "Good. Now was there something you were looking for deary? I have some salves and potions that have just been finished today if you'd like. Or a recipe for a new protection potion? It makes it nearly impossible to poison whoever drinks it." She showed me around the room and I ended up leaving with a copy of the potion recipe and a few more ingredients. I gave my thanks to the couple before we headed out the door.

"Well, I suppose this is where we part ways then," I said looking up at Draco. Just like the other night, the moon makes his eyes shine so bright. The silvery grey gleam was undeniably kind as he looked at me, "I suppose you would be right. I can escort you home if you would like. But I feel that the answer is no." He extended a hand to me and I took it. We shook hands and then he lifted our hands to his mouth, kissing the back of my hand. "Thank you for letting me accompany you. Miss Granger. I hope you will do me the honor again sometime." A sudden heat spread throughout my body and face, "Maybe. Ma…Draco." He released my hand with a smile, a tint of pink on his cheeks. He gave me a location to send my owl to before he heads off into the night.

I blinked a few times and found my way back to the playground, from which I disappeared and apparated back to my house.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter is so long! I just felt it all needed to be together. Hope you're enjoying! **

**To clarify the timeline a little. Hermione and Ron were married not long after the war. They divorced and Hermione took roughly a year off from her job as a Professor at Hogwarts during/right after that. Using the war as a reference, this story starts three years or so after. Hope this helps!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's a little bit of an early update!**

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As I entered the house, there was a small commotion from the kitchen, the sound of pots and pans falling and hitting the floor. With my wand ready, I crept into the kitchen, "Ah Miss Mione! I did not mean to disturb you. Wopsy was only going to make you something to eat. I didn't mean to drop all the pans on the floor." I sighed with relief as I helped her pick everything up from off the ground, "Thank you Wopsy. I can help if you'd like." She smiled up at me as we put away all the pans that she didn't need. I began mixing some spices together as she prepped the vegetables. The room already smelled lovely, there was a pot with chicken and turkey on the fire cooking. I cut up some potatoes as she added the seasoning to the veggies and meat. She then dropped in some of the veggies after some time and we cleaned up the dishes used to prep everything.

A quiet humming came from under my ear, "Oh! Wopsy I nearly forgot. I have this new friend and I think you would like to meet him." I lifted the puff from under my hair and Wopsy clapped her hands, "Oh what a cutie. What is this little one's name?" As I went to set the puff on the kitchen table, I realized I hadn't even thought about that. "That's a tough one there. What should I call you? We can't very well keep calling you puff all the time now can we?"

"Hmm, what about Jack?" The puff just blinked at me, "Jade? Mary? Pop? Snuffles? Jamie? I don't even know if you are a boy or a girl." Wopsy giggles, "This one is a boy, see how is fangs are so curved? Wopsy has seen many fangs and only boy ones have curved fangs like this." I nodded at Wopsy's knowledge, "Well alright how about Gavyn?" The fanged puffskein hummed to me, "Well alright Gavyn. Can I call you Gav for short?" He sort of nuzzled my hand, "Well sir, I do believe it's close to eating time, would you say so Wopsy?" The house elf clapped her hands in excitement, and three plates surrounded us. One with tiny pieces of meat and vegetables cut up, and two with full meals on them. "I'm not sure how you do things sometimes Wopsy, but I am grateful." We took our seats around the kitchen table, each one of us munching, laughing and enjoying our company together.

I began to tell Wopsy of my adventure, she seemed skeptical at first, but as I continued, she grew curious, asking questions as I spoke, "You know to think of it, if I hadn't been with Malfoy, I would not have found this little fellow." I give Gavyn a light pat and he hummed with almost a smile.

"Miss 'Mione, I still do not know what to make of this Malfoy's kindness. Maybe the young master has changed. Wopsy recommends caution in any moment. But Wopsy is also happy that Mione went out again and that you seem to have had a good time. Wopsy loves to see Miss Mione smile." I smiled at her, and then at our new companion. "I think I will write to Mr. Ollivander tomorrow, he seemed quite intent on that I keep up with him now." We washed the dishes as Gavyn watched out the window. "Where are you going to sleep Gavyn? Should I make you a bed?"

When we were finished, Wopsy disappeared for a short time to gather some paint while I searched the house for some materials to possibly craft a small bed. I managed to find some wood and small pillows and blankets and I had just set them together when Wopsy returned with the paint supplies. "Ah Miss Mione I think this will do!" We painted the outer layers in shades of greens and greys. I spelled the bed so that it dried quickly, and then we nestled the pillows and blankets into the creation, "Well Gavyn? What do you think?" I lowered him in my hand to the bed and he immediately nuzzled under the blankets. I giggled as he poked his face out and then dove back in.

I lifted the bed and placed it on the coffee table so he had freedom of the house when he woke. Stretching as I dispelled the lights, "Good night Wopsy, good night Gavyn. I'll see you when I wake."

I double checked all the locks on the house and the wards just outside before heading to my room. I slipped into some soft pajama bottoms and a t-shirt before sliding under my covers. For once, I fell asleep quickly.

* * *

A few days passed by and I had been falling asleep quickly, but still I was prone to sleep through most of the day. I spent what time I was awake with Wopsy and Gavyn, making snow angels, cooking together, making messes and just generally being playful when I was up to it.

This time was different. I was awake, but I was not in shock. I was not afraid. I did not feel dirty. I only felt awake. I could not remember the last time I woke with such a sense of calm. There was no rush of fear, no anger, no hurt. I did not want to open my eyes in case I was truly just dreaming. Reluctantly I did open them. Rays of sunshine were filtering in through my window, lighting up my room in a way I hadn't seen in some time. When was the last time I slept through the entire night? I began my routine, checking each window and door, making sure the locks were all in place. A humming sound came from the kitchen as I approached. Inside Wopsy and Gavyn seemed to be playing some sort of hide and seek. Gavyn was bouncing on the counter and Wopsy was hiding next to the stove with a hand over her mouth.

I chuckled and Gavyn bounced over to me, I lifted him and put him on my shoulder. Wopsy clapped her hands as she danced from her hiding place, "Mione! You are up! Oh lovely to see you in the sunlight!" She took my hands and began to dance and spin around with me. Chuckling all the way, we eventually sat down to breakfast. "Wopsy has done some looking and thinking. And Wopsy might suggest Mione go into town again soon. But not today, it is supposed to have lots and lots of ice today."

"I suppose I will have to send my owl tomorrow then. But that gives me plenty of time to do some cleaning and write to Mr. Ollivander today. Why do you think I should go back to town so soon?" She grinned at me, "Must keep going while you feel up to it. Awake during the sun means more places to go!" That is indeed sound logic, as most places closed by seven unless they served food. "Alright Wopsy, I will endeavor to go each day I feel up to it, even if I do not need anything." She took my hand and gave it a light squeeze, "I am happy you are so bright today miss Mione."

"I'm happy too Wopsy," Gavyn hopped onto our clasped hands and we smiled down at him. "Wopsy will finish the dishes today. Mione should take her bath while I clean. Gavyn can learn how to help Wopsy. Go, go Mione."

"Yes ma'am!" I grinned as I left the kitchen and wandered to my room. I looked at the small pile of dirty laundry, I would have to clean that today, and dust my shelves. Maybe I should bring out some potion recipes and give them a go so as not to get rusty? I started the water and waited for a good temperature before stripping down and climbing in. I soaked for a moment, enjoying the water warming me to my core. The soap had a slight flowery scent to it, filling me with spring smells, I could not wait for the cold weather to be over. I missed the flowers and the trees all abloom. I scrubbed at my tainted arm still, but not as hard as usual. And when I left the tub, I did not feel so raw.

I got my laundry up off the floor and started the washing process. Once finished, I began my letter to Mr. Ollivander.

_Dear Mr. Ollivander_

_I hope that you have been well. While I was in your shop the other day I was reminded of why we exist in this place. When that little girl and her wand connected, the smile on her face, the pure joy and shock radiating from her- that is the true magic. You help people to realize their potential the first time they hold a wand. I am so happy that you are here to assist in the finding of the proper relationship between wand and witch or wizard._

_How have things been lately? What am I missing in the world? Are you enjoying your time?_

_Sincerely,_

_Hermione Granger_

I looked over my letter and tied it up once I felt it was ready. I set it next to a picture of me, my first time in Diagon Alley. Ollivander's was the first shop I went to, and I would never forget it. The first wand he handed me did not react so well, but the second one…I remembered the pure happiness, the amazement and the slight fear I had at truly experiencing what the future could hold for me. After retrieving my books, I immediately began to study and practice spells. That is why I knew how to fix Harry's glasses on the train. Those poor glasses were broken so many times throughout each school year.

I looked down to the blank parchment paper in front of me.

_Dear Malfoy_

I tore the letter up.

_Dear Draco_

I paused.

_Dear Draco Malfoy_

That didn't sound right.

_To Draco Malfoy_

_Hello. I hope this letter finds you well. I was entirely unsure what to write_

I paused again, staring at the words on the parchment. That wasn't right either.

_Draco Malfoy_

_I hope this letter finds you well. Do you mind telling me, what has happened lately? I am a tad out of the loop as I do not go to town often and I no longer receive the Daily Prophet or the Quibbler. I hope to hear from you._

_Hermione Granger_

It was true, I was entirely unsure what to write to him. I was entirely unsure if I should write to him. For the time being, I would leave the letter on my desk while I cleaned the house and waited for the ice to come.

Around noon the clouds grew dark and covered the sky. The ice and snow came later, blanketing everything it touched. I briefly feared I might become barricaded in, then remembered I had plenty of skill to be able to solve that issue should it arise.


	7. Chapter 7

_The wind was chilly on my face as I ran through the trees. The snatchers were closing in but we had to keep going_.

_Her voice, twisted with cruelty shook me. I dared not fight back, fearing for my life. Disarmed and vulnerable. The pain was near unbearable as she tore into me. My screams started to fade, becoming softer as time passed. I looked up at the faces around me. Most looking on with neutrality or fear. One not. Silver eyes met mine briefly. He looked a bit green. It almost looked as he wanted to speak, or to move but he did neither. Pain overtook me again but my screams became whimpers._

I woke to a fuzz ball nuzzling my face, humming bringing me around to my senses. I looked around my room, still dark. I sat up, putting Gavyn on my shoulder where he buried himself against my neck. My face in my hands, "Honestly, I'd rather face this nightmare." I didn't cry from this one anymore. I felt dirty, but not as dirty as when I dreamt of him. I could live with this. I had already learned how when he began his treatment of me.

I double checked the locks on my room before wandering to the restroom. I ran the water, letting it heat up as I went to fetch a towel and a different nightgown. I stopped at my dresser, staring at the last picture I took of my parents. "I miss you. I wish you missed me too." Unfortunately, the spell I put on them had still yet to be undone. While I would like to maintain hope, it has been several years now. And I wish I could have my family back. But now, I have no one.

That wasn't entirely true, I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I had Wopsy and Gavyn now. Heading back to the bath I began to strip off my layers. I leaned my head against the edge of the tub, letting the heat soak in. Gavyn hums from under my hair, "I hope you're okay under there, I'll try not to get you wet. I can let you down now if you'd like?" I reached for him and he allowed me to lift him. He looked at me, cupped in the palms of my hands, bouncing slightly then gave me a sort of smile. I kissed the top of his head before setting him down outside of the tub. He meandered out of the room into the bedroom as I dunked my head under.

I could stay down here, I would never have to face my fears again, never have to face anyone again. Coming back up, I reached for my soap, _that is not what I would do._ Gryffindors do not hide from their fears, at least not forever. I had to work through this. Things would be different one day, I just had to work to get there. Not to say I haven't necessarily tried or come close to leaving this earth of my own volition since, but I no longer view that as a viable option. To be honest I never really did. But when you feel so low, it can be tempting, can seem like the better option.

I scrubbed at my scar which will never completely fade, and when I was through, I donned my nightgown and headed back to bed.

Gavyn was nestled neatly atop one of my pillows. Trying not to disturb him, I crawled into bed carefully, tucked myself in, and fell promptly to sleep.

* * *

It was probably about noon when I woke next. The sun was out, but the sky was cloudy so a sort of grey shine came through the window. Everything outside was coated in snow and ice. The trees looked both eerie and serene as they stood frozen. I put on a pair of thick trousers, a heavy shirt, and thick wool socks before I picked up my letters to be delivered.

I tucked Gavyn under my hair, wrapped myself and him loosely with a scarf and headed out the door once my boots were tied. I didn't hear or see Wopsy, so she must be off on her own for the moment. Once out the door, the air was not as biting as I had expected for such a storm to have rolled through.

My feet crunched extra loud due to the layer of ice on top of the snow. Just outside the wards there was a small structure with my connection to the floo network and my owls. While I was still married to Ronald I convinced myself I needed a separate owl for Hogwarts business. It came in handy during the school year, and I always made sure to keep them well fed. Out here may not seem so kind, but the building was thoroughly heated for weather such as this, and cooled in the summer. Wopsy tended to the owls when I could not. I tied a note to each one and gave them each a few scratches before they took off through an opening near the ceiling.

Now I waited.

Knowing how quickly Mr. Ollivander used to respond, I sat in a rocking chair just next to the network. A small pile of books sat atop the fireplace, I picked the one closest to my reach. I opened it to find I have picked up Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, how ironic. I flipped through the pages until I found the entry on Puffskeins and settled in, reading facts aloud to Gavyn, not knowing if he understood, not knowing if he cared to know about what he is, but it seemed like a step in the right direction to be able to go back to teaching at Hogwarts. I missed my students, and I missed Minerva.

I had finished the section on Puffs and moved on through about a quarter of the book when one of my owls returned. I gave him a few pets and took the note.

_To Hermione Granger_

_Honestly I did not expect to hear from you, but I am truly glad that I did. Luna has taken over the Quibbler in an official way and has made great bounds with her discoveries. Do you remember her going on about Wrackspurts and Nargles? It turns out they are quite real. I might have believed her about the Wrackspurts with those glasses she wore, but honestly I never would have believed her about the Nargles without the proof she has obtained. I would swear I have even seen one._

_I am not sure if you would believe me, but I have been training to become a Healer. I am currently employed as a Mediwizard at Quidditch tournaments. No more Lockhart on the field to turn Harry's arm to rubber. I have a few more months to go before they give me my final examination. If I pass that I become a certified Healer and will be working at St Mungos._

_I seem to be prattling on about myself, which is not what you asked for. I apologize. Minerva has been doing well with the students at Hogwarts, they haven't been able to find as skilled a Professor as you though to keep as the head of Charms. Currently it is Pansy, but everyone knows she would rather be teaching Potions. The Potions Professor isn't as skilled. I have a feeling that if you were to return, the current Potions Professor would leave, Pansy would take that place, and you would resume your position as the Charms Professor. Rightfully so I might add._

_Harry and Ginny have little ones that are probably just itching to meet you. Teddy being one of them. I hear them quite often speak of you when they are running through the streets of Diagon Alley. Teddy seems to like me for some odd reason, so when they attend Quidditch matches, Harry always stops by our healers tent._

_I do apologize if I have spoken too much. But I do hope to hear a response from you._

_Yours truly,_

_Draco Malfoy_

I tucked his letter away. I honestly wasn't expecting a response so soon. Or so long. A Healer? Draco Malfoy? I hope he is aware that means dealing with all the people who act just as he did when they only had a minor scrape, treating it as some catastrophe.

I didn't have much time to ponder that as my other owl had returned.

_Dear Hermione_

_I am delighted to hear from you my dear. Thank you for your kind words. That is why I do what I do. To create magic in the hearts of our futures. Bringing joy is what I cherish about my position. Ah the world has been calm. The Daily Prophet no longer spreads atrocities without Rita Skeeter on the front page. She is not on any page any more. You might have missed it, but she has been sent to Azkaban. She has spread one rumor too many and wrongfully accused a fellow witch of murder. When sent to trial, it was discovered that Rita herself had committed the crime. Would you believe that dear?_

_Myself, I have been well. As mentioned, I spend every day attempting to bring out the magic within our hearts. The days go by, but the smiles last. And that is what makes each day great. Tell me as much or as little as you wish. But please do reply._

_Ollivander_

I smiled as I rose, leaving the book on the chair and taking my letters with me. I returned to the house.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! Thanks for your reviews! Sorry if the story seems slow going, but here's an early update! Let me know your opinions :)**

* * *

I made some coffee and returned to my desk. I studied the letters I had received. Where should I begin? I couldn't believe Malfoy knew so much about Harry and his family. And the little ones spoke of me? I sighed into my cup, watching the steam rise I did.

_Draco Malfoy_

_Do you see Teddy often then? Does he still change his hair according to his mood?_

_I am sad to think that the current Potions Professor is not doing as well as I hoped, and while I do miss my position, it was necessary I took this year for myself. Many things have happened since my temporary resignation, and it seems many things have been happening for you as well. I am glad to know that you will become a Healer. I may not have thought so before, but I can see you fitting into the position well. I believe Madam Pomphrey might even be interested in taking you on, as I know she has been looking for someone to train to replace her. As you know, working at St. Mungos would be much different than working at Hogwarts. However, if you were to do well with your examination, you might want to inquire with McGonagall._

_To be honest, I don't know quite what to say. I have contacted very few since being away from the school. And while I needed the time, I recognize now that I am also too far separated. It has made me awkward in groups. I feel compelled to tell you all this, and I am unsure why. I would like, I think, to meet with you again, to run errands for myself, but also any errands you might need to run._

_And while I might not have been intending to take up the Healer career, I can help you study for your final examinations if you should wish it._

_Hermione Granger_

I stared at the letter I had written, tempted to toss it. But instead I kept it and tied the parchment up, preparing it for the next day. Truly, I could not fathom that I was writing to him at all. But people can change and it would be nice to talk to someone new. No, of course he wasn't really new in name, but Draco Malfoy did seem new to her. Maybe it was the underlying colors in his eyes when he spoke to me, or maybe it was that I simply never really knew him in the first place. He did not seem to still be a right foul git. I sighed as I tried to stop contemplating.

I used to be able to just talk to people, anyone whether I knew them or not. I want, no I need to relearn how to do that. I could always see Luna, or Ginny, or Harry. But it was different. They all still spoke with Ronald. And I couldn't bear it if I saw disappointment in their eyes. I don't know what, if anything he has said about what transpired between us, but I don't imagine it was anything good.

I shook my head to clear it. I had to stop dwelling on the past, but it was so bloody difficult with Ronald around. Maybe that would be soon to change.

_Dear Ollivander_

_Everything is so different now. I have so much I want to talk to you about, and yet I fear to say the words aloud. I fear to see them written down. I am afraid, though not as much as I once was. And I am unsure of how to process that fear. Before there has always been a logical way for me to hinder the emotion, and then process, and solve the issue. But now, I do not know how to begin. I like to think I am beginning just by sending you this letter. Initiating contact and conversation. But in my heart, I know it will take much time before I can share what is within me._

_Do you think, when I am ready, I could ask you to tea? I am so longing for someone who will not judge me for not feeling so brave as the world expects me to be._

_Sincerely_

_Hermione_

I took a deep breath, but for some reason it didn't feel as necessary as I expected. Maybe this really is the first step on my journey. My new goal would be to return to Hogwarts and reclaim my position as the Charms Professor for the new year. I needed to be ready by August should I wish to do such a thing. Godric give me strength, I am determined.

I tied up my letter and with new enthusiasm, I gathered my coat and put on my boots to trek back to my owl nest. Wopsy smiled at me on my way out, clapping her hands as Gavyn hopped around on her shoulders. I gave her a quick hug and headed out the door.

The sun was still high in the afternoon sky. Some of the snow had started to melt and thin, some areas were now quite slushy. I kept my pace toward the building, and once there my owls seemed excited. They ruffled through their feathers quickly, once of them landed on the arm of the chair I had previously been sitting in. With a smile, I tied the letters to the birds, gave them each a treat, and watched them fly.

I started a small fire in the fireplace before taking my seat. I sighed as I leaned back in my chair, picking up Fantastic Beasts again.

It was not long before I received a response from Ollivander.

_Dear Hermione_

_It pains me that you are so troubled. But alas, for every bit of good in the world, there is bad. It is not bad to fear, though I know how uncomfortable the emotion is. I know that in due time, you will be able to confront your fear, but that it will take time._

_When you are ready to discuss it, I will be ready for tea with you, my dear. And as always, you are free to visit me or even ask me to tea without such a conversation looming over your head. In time, I believe, you will find your strength has never left you. Even young Gryffindors encounter fear._

_I look forward to our serious, and not so serious conversations._

_Ollivander_

I held the letter to my chest as I pet my lovely owl. She gave a short hoot and flew up to her resting pole where she seemed to quickly fall asleep. I dabbed at the tear that had fallen from my eye, I couldn't be more grateful that Ollivander had remained such a good friend after the war. He had become like a grandfather to me, and he had been the only one to know that Ronald and I were not going to last. I even once called him grandpa, and all he had done was chuckle with a twinkle in his eyes as he shooed me out of the shop after having tea and pastries. A smile tugged at the edges of my lips before I gave in. Maybe my strength had been here all along. But he would of course be right, that my healing would take time.

I saw the second owl swooping in just before it landed in front of me. He gave a quick peck at my hand, asking for treats as I took the letter. I gave him both treats and some loving pets before he took his place alongside the female owl above.

This time, I felt the need to take a deep breath to steady myself before opening the letter.

_To Hermione Granger_

_I do in fact see Teddy quite often, it seems he has some infatuation with me that no one can seem to understand, myself included. And though he seems to have gotten better about when he decides to shift his features, I do find that his hair acts, as the muggles might say, like a mood ring. Though I still am unsure which colors match which moods. The only one I have currently deciphered is that when he is happy, his hair turns a specific shade of yellow that is hard to determine. It is so light that it would almost be white, but it is very distinct._

_As far as my becoming a Healer, my exams are in March, and I would very much appreciate any assistance you would be willing to offer. And should you so desire it, I would be willing to pay you for your time, as my tutor. I admit that it has been very difficult on my own, as no one seems to want to associate with me aside from Teddy, and upon occasion, Harry._

_As far as working at Hogwarts, I had not considered it as an option. Though I do think I would like to do so. I want to create new memories at the school that was once my home. For every bad memory that I have there, I have far more good ones. And it would be…quite pleasant I think._

_And I would be very honored to be able to run these errands with you again, and should you wish, to have you accompany me on my own errands. How about tomorrow? We could meet at noon, at the Leaky Cauldron should that be acceptable. Or we could meet in Diagon Alley somewhere. Your choice._

_I will be awaiting your response._

_Yours truly,_

_Draco Malfoy_

Nervousness flowed through my body at the thought of spending time with anyone, let alone Draco Malfoy. But I had been the one to extend the invitation. And in truth, I don't believe it would matter if I had agreed to spend time with Harry or Luna or Malfoy. Any one of them would be causing this same nervousness right now. I groaned as I remembered promising to visit Harry and Ginny. That time was coming soon.

With a sigh, I stood and went to the small cupboard near the owls. Inside was a shelf that acted as a standing desk. I wrote back to Draco Malfoy telling him to instead meet me at Ollivander's at noon. With my owl on his way, I retreated back to my house, through the wards and into the kitchen where Wopsy was waiting. "Mione, I think without me you might forget to eat! Sit, sit! Wopsy will be busy tomorrow but I do not want Mione to be hungry so I made this!" She led me to the table where there was a large dish of lasagna waiting for me, "Oh Wopsy, you really do too much for me. Have you been getting enough time for yourself? I don't mean to leave you with Gavyn so often."

The smell of the food really was heavenly, and Gavyn was humming softly, waiting for his share of the food. Wopsy shook her head at me, "Wopsy has plenty of time for herself! Mione is the one who needs time out and away. Gavyn does not even need me. He just likes Wopsy and Mione. He can be fine by himself as long as there is food!" I started dishing up the lasagna for the Wopsy and myself. I discovered that there was a small bowl with meat and fruit set aside for Gavyn, so I put that in front of my little fanged puff.

Sitting around the table with my little family felt so right, I only felt a small twinge of pain as I thought the word.

After the sun had set, I put away the dish and started to wash the dishes. Wopsy kept trying to help, but I only let her dry while I washed. Sometimes, I just wanted to focus on scrubbing away something other than my own skin.

Wopsy had stayed until the dishes were all put away, then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and popped away.

I spent another hour looking through my books and pulling out the ones pertaining to Healing as a profession. With those sorted, I did a check on my wards, and then through the house for anything out of the ordinary. By the time I returned to my room, Gavyn had settled onto one of my pillows, and I was exhausted. Though I didn't feel there should be any reason for it, shortly after my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi! Early update, posting 9 today and 10 tomorrow! Also, if you will read with or without warnings, go ahead and skip the bold text.**

**Warnings include mentions of physical abuse/violence and the insinuation of rape. If you want to skip the italics section, there is only a brief mention of physical abuse.**

* * *

_The cold air whipped around my face. I was running from the snatchers; little did I know I was running into a worse fate._

_Bellatrix stood in front of me, I could feel her stare sending shivers down my spine. Before I knew it, I was on the floor, trying to look anywhere but at her. Silver eyes met my chocolate ones. Those eyes betrayed him, giving away the pain he felt. Those eyes, though it seemed I could drown in them, kept me afloat even as I screamed._

_I was bleeding, and I could feel each cut wrack my whole body. Fire spread through my veins like poison, and all I wanted was for it to stop, to close my eyes and fall into darkness. But I kept my eyes on those silver orbs. Who would have thought that his eyes would be my anchor. I could look no place else, even as the fire within me subsided._

_The pain slowed, and eventually stopped, but tears still fell from my eyes. The scene before me seemed to jump ahead. A flash of red hair, and a tight grip on my arm just above the damage in my arm. I could feel my heart beating faster._

_The scene jumped again, away from the Malfoy Manor, away to what I thought would be my home. A house with red and gold curtains. Lion faces carved into the mantle above the fireplace. Tan couches with red blankets draped over them sat around the fire. My body lying in front of the fire, reading a chapter from the new potions book, one detailing some new ideas for healing salves. Ron lying next to me, seeming to read over my shoulder, resting his head against me._

_I felt so calm that night. He rubbed my back with one hand, pulling me close. I don't remember how the argument started. I remember sitting up to argue with him, trying to get him to agree to disagree. He shoved me back and I hit my head against the edge of the fireplace. When I woke up, I was under a blanket, my head on a pillow. But I was still next to the fireplace. My clothes were all askew and even torn, my pants barely on. I remember watching the water turn pink as it flowed through my hair, washing the blood that had caked itself out of my curls, off of my skin._

_"It won't ever happen again Hermione, never. You know I love you. If you weren't so stubborn, we wouldn't need to fight. Just let me win for once!" The voice echoed in the bathroom. The fresh bruises on my legs blended with the old. I no longer knew if the soreness in my back was from the hard floor, or from the last argument we'd had. "It's okay Ron, I know you didn't mean it." I hated the words that flowed from my mouth. I hated the catch in my breath as I spoke. As I sat down in the shower, I cried silent tears. I heard the door shut, but I had yet to discover if he had stayed or left the room._

_The waiting was more torture than the night with Bellatrix. Soon, I vowed, soon I would be free._

When my eyes opened, the sun was filtering into my room, warming my face and the hot tears that rolled down it. Smothered, I felt smothered by it. Hurriedly, I threw on my robe as I drew my wand. Checking through the house as my normal routine, doing an extra sweep just to be sure.

Gavyn hopped behind me the whole way. Satisfied when I scooped him up and headed to the bathroom to start the water for a shower. I drew all the blinds shut before letting myself relax a moment. I felt better in the darkness. Under the water, I tried to wash slowly, trying not to scrub my body so raw. When the nightmares came, it was difficult not to.

With a sigh, I focused on my hair, rinsing it thoroughly. I could feel his hands on me, even though I was alone. The way his hands gripped my hips, the feel of his breath against my ear. I looked at my arms and could see the perfect outlines of his grip on my arms, see the bruises that no longer existed. The fear began to creep in as I felt his hands holding me in place. I squeezed my eyes shut, counting to ten. One, two. With each number, I took a deep breath. Five, six. With each breath I felt a little more secure. Nine, ten. I kept my eyes shut for just a little longer. But when I opened them, and looked down at my arms, the image was gone.

It had been almost an entire year since Ronald had laid his hands on me in any way. And with any luck, it would continue to be that way.

I dried off as quickly as I could. I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. I checked the time on my way to the kitchen. It was fifteen til noon. I was going to be late! I threw on my boots as quickly as I could and grabbed my coat, shrugging it on as I left the house. I left my wards, and reset them. I took a breath, clutched my bag and disapparated.

I apparated to my usual alleyway and practically ran to the Leaky Cauldron and threw it to the backroom. I paused to take a breath in front of the entry way. As I tapped the bricks, I felt silly. I hated being late for anything, but I needed to calm down if I wanted to make it through the inevitable crowd that would be in Diagon Alley today.

As the bricks parted, there was in fact a crowd moving through the streets. Witches and wizards in robes and muggle clothes bustled about in front of me. I pulled my hood up over my hair as I entered the street, making a beeline for Ollivander's and keeping my head down as best I could. A few seemed to recognize me on my way but they mostly whispered to themselves.

And then there I was. Standing in front of Ollivander's. With a few deep breaths, I opened the door.


	10. Chapter 10

**I hope you're enjoying the story thus far! After this chapter it should be just a couple weeks for the next update. Enjoy!**

* * *

Inside Ollivander's there were very few people. Mr. Ollivander winked at me as he moved around the counter with a wand in his hand. There was a woman with a child in the shop with anticipation written all over their faces. There was a small group of wands and their boxes on the counter, seemingly the rejected ones.

When the child took this new wand in hand, the air around her seemed to lift, swirling her hair every which way and he gave them a knowing smile. The woman behind her clapped excitedly, "Oh thank you Mr. Ollivander." She and Ollivander began speaking with each other quietly while the girl stood by excited. She would be a first year come the fall. I couldn't help but smile as my eyes left them and scanned the room.

Draco was sitting on a stool by the shop window; he seemed to have been watching me. I lowered the hood from my coat and approached him. He too wore muggle clothes, dark jeans and a grey sweater underneath a twill coat. He seemed to give me a cautious smile, hesitant as he stood. "Hello, Hermione," his voice was smooth as butter as he spoke my name, practically a whisper.

I didn't know if I will ever get used to him saying my name. Goose pimples rose on my arms as I spoke, "Hello… Draco." His smile grew, less cautious. And he almost seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "I am sorry for being late. I… had some last minute things to do. Where do we need to go first?"

He shook his head, "You arrived only five minutes past noon, there should be no apologies. I was thinking we could stop by Eeylops Owl Emporium at some point, my own owl is getting quite old. He's been with my family for some time, and I think he deserves a break. But first I would like to head to Slug and Jiggers Apothecary to pick up some potion supplies." He led me out the front door of Ollivander's as he spoke, both of us saying a quick good bye to him as Draco held the door open for me. He extended his arm, but I shook my head as I pulled my hood up over my hair. He straightened his hat and tucked his hands into his pockets as we walked.

"I'm experimenting with a new potion. My hope is to give a more gentle option than the Skele Gro. There's a new deformity in some children where they simply are not born with all their bones. It is still quite rare, but as Harry well knows, growing bones is extremely painful, and the Skele Gro is exceedingly hard to swallow. It tastes quite rancid. If all goes well, my potion will not taste quite so awful, and maybe it will lessen the pain. Of course I think it will be slower acting than the Skele Gro. But every potion has its ups and downs." He gave a small shrug as we passed by the different stalls and people milling about.

He kept quite close to me in the crowd, almost, but not quite brushing his arm against mine. I found that I quite liked the way he spoke, he really seemed to be passionate about this endeavor. He moved to open the door for a pair of witches on their way out of the Apothecary, and then lingered, motioning for me to go first. Lowering my hood, I entered the building, "What kinds of ingredients have you tried thus far? What seems to be assisting in the effects?" He started toward a small shelf picking up some scarab beetles, "Well I have been trying to combine the Wiggenweld potion with the Skele Gro in a way. The Wiggenweld potion tastes almost sweet and children tend to have an easy time taking it. I think if I add in a few drops of the Honeywater and maybe the Horklump juice from that, it might combat the taste. But to keep it from interfering with the bone growth I need to continue to test the consistency of the results."

I nodded thinking through my knowledge. His thought process seemed to be on track with what I might have done. I was surprised no one had thought of it before actually. But then again, once we find a potion that works, we tend to leave it as is. No need to fix it if it isn't broken as one might say.

I picked up a couple of items for myself, taking them to the counter, then returned to the shelves and handed Draco a few items, "If you add the Unicorn hair, Wiggentree bark, and maybe just one of these fangs, I think you might find the potion comes out a little easier. And if you add Syrup of Hellebore, I think it will ease the pain. Though you might want to try powdered moonstone as well." He seemed thoughtful with her recommendations, and nodded, "I think you are right. While not widely known for its pain relieving properties, with just the right combination the syrup would be a good try." He knelt down to retrieve some of the ingredients and smiled up at me, looking through his lashes, "Thank you. I had been wondering what to try for that."

I took a step back and headed to the counter to make my purchase. I added some occamy eggshells to my supplies before totaling it all up. After we had both paid, I raised my hood again as we headed out the door. He continued to tell me about the experimental potion and the failed tests so far, "I've been testing it on mice that had similar issues, having no bones. Don't worry though, none of them have died. If I think a potion simply won't work, I test it with a spell to see if it has any harmful properties. So far, I have only given two trials to my mice. And both times the bones did regrow, unfortunately they really still hate the flavor."

I listened in awe as he explained the new spell that could test for harmful properties without having to test it on a live subject first. "Will you teach me that spell, Draco?" He gave me a quick glance, "Honestly. I am surprised you haven't already heard of it. To think, I have something to teach you? Hermione Granger, brightest witch of our age," he chuckled but the title only made me look down, watching my feet as we approached Eeylops. To be honest, I never took pride in the title. I never discredited my own knowledge, but the title did nothing for me. People expected me to know everything, even things that no one would know. It always bothered me that no one else seemed to know how to pick up a book.

As I put my hood down in the shop, Draco took on a more hesitant face again, "I'm sorry if I've offended you. I shouldn't make fun. The spell is fairly new, and the knowledge is still being spread to the potion masters and Healers. I would be happy to teach you the spell if you still wish." I nodded at his apology and went to observe the little owlets that were sleeping in a corner. Before I knew it he was carrying a cage with a new eagle owl inside. The owl seemed to peer around and then fall asleep as we left the building.

"Why don't we stop by that stall over there and get ourselves a couple of those individual steak and kidney pies? We can sit outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour," Draco started in that direction. Following, I decided I was hungry. Before I could pull out my own money, he had already paid for the two pies. The stall owner handed me a pie with a wink and a fork before turning his attention to another customer. As we sat outside of Florean's I sighed, "Thank you for buying my pie, but next time I would like to purchase it myself."

I tried not to seem ungrateful, but to me, it seemed rather odd of him. He stuttered for a moment, something I didn't think he could do, "My apologies. I suppose I should have asked. But I wanted to treat you. As you know, it's been some time since I have really spent time with anyone, and your suggestions with the potion might be just what I need. So you could think of it as repayment." He smiled and for a moment, all I could do was stare back at him, my eyes caught in his.

I shook my head, "Thank you, Draco." His smile grew as he dug into his own pie.

The pie really did smell delicious, and my stomach growled as I took the first bite. Unconsciously, I groaned quietly with the taste. It reminded me of Hogwarts, of home. We ate in comfortable silence, occasionally glancing at each other and the people passing by. Thus far, the trip was quite nice. I found myself relaxing even as the crowd seemed to grow.

Draco took care of returning our trays to the stall, and retook his seat. Florean's smelled wonderful, even outside. The different flavors of ice cream were quite tempting. I gave Draco a sideways glance as I thought, "Would you allow me to treat you? The toffee apple is my favorite and I haven't had it in some time now. What flavor would you like?"

He seemed surprised at my suggestion but gave a sheepish grin, "I'll take the strawberries and cream, though don't tell anyone else." I quirked an eyebrow at him, "Oh? No one can know Draco Malfoy is a fan of such a sweet flavor?" With his answering eyebrow quirk, I laughed, and I laughed hard. It took a moment to regain control; why that was so funny to me I couldn't decide, but I still ventured into the shop.

Returning to the table with two waffle cones in hand, I gave him the strawberry flavor. "Thank you, I admit I wasn't expecting to have such interesting conversations today. I'm glad though. Today has been new. A good new." He appeared to be savoring the flavor as he licked his ice cream. An odd sensation came over me, in that moment he seemed so carefree, so comfortable. I was both calm and nervous. I had enjoyed the day, and I would have thought, given my nightmare that today would be far more difficult for me to handle. I would have thought I'd been excusing myself and running home, coward to the crowds.

Today thus far had been almost easy. Peaceful. Fun even. It had been months that I could say that. And with Draco Malfoy of all people. But our history hadn't seemed to matter. I pondered this as I finished off my own ice cream, eating the last bite of my waffle cone.

He stood, gathering his things under one arm, his hand extended to me. I took it, and he helped me from my seat. I quickly gathered my own things as he picked up the cage. "Would you mind if I dropped these at my flat? You are welcome to come with me if you'd like, but I understand if you'd rather not. We can meet after, or we could part ways now if that's what you would prefer," he seemed almost sad at the idea.

My own items all fit into my bag that was slung across my shoulder, but he didn't have the same luxury. Maybe I should teach him the extension charm. Of course that would only come in handy if her were to have a bag really.

"I think for now, I'll head to Ollivander's. But we can meet at the Leaky Cauldron at six. I need to run errands outside of the wizarding world, if you'd still like to accompany me?" He seemed glad to know I wasn't done with the day. It was odd being able to see so many emotions crossing his face. "I would be happy to meet you then. That gives me time to get Merrick here settled with poor Mack," he motioned to his new owl. "I have to make sure the two of them don't fight. I've already set up separate posts for them both, just in case."

I envied him in that moment, the way his smile seemed so natural, so calm as he waved goodbye.


	11. Chapter 11

When I entered the wand shop, Mr. Ollivander was the only one inside, dusting one of the shelves closest to the ceiling. Without even turning around he spoke, "Ah I knew you would return today. Sit, sit, I'll be down in a moment."

I pulled the stool that Draco had previously been sitting on, close to his counter. He practically floated down from the top step. How he could be so graceful, I might never know. With a twinkle in his eye, he motioned for me to come around the counter. Picking up the stool I followed, "Ah yes, come sit over here. There's some tea on the table there." A small end table held a couple of teacups and a tea kettle, with steam rising from it. I poured us each a cup and handed him one. From this angle, I could not be seen from the front door, a shelf of wands stood in the way.

"Hello, Ollivander. I'm sorry for not writing back after your last letter. I was unsure of how to respond. But I did want to stop by, at least to say hello." He nodded at me, adding a cube of sugar to his own tea, "Hermione, there is no need for apologies. I am delighted that you stopped back in. I noticed you were meeting someone today." I nodded, watching the edge of his lips pull upward for just a moment, "Yes, Mr. Malfoy asked me if I would accompany him while he picked up some things in town, and since I needed a few things myself, I decided to come along."

I hid my mouth behind my cup as I took a sip. The edges of Ollivander's eyes crinkled as he smiled at me, "Yes, I saw the young Malfoy. He has been visiting me more often as of late. He has been helping me actually, with reorganizing the wands. It is hard to determine how to organize them. Do you organize by wood? Or perhaps by core? We have recently organized them by length, then flexibility. And that seems to be working just fine. Tell me, how did your day go so far?"

I was a little shocked that Draco had been spending so much time with Ollivander, but I told him about my day anyway. "Oh and Wopsy is doing great, she said she was going to bring you some puff pastries next she came by. Has she come to visit yet?"

He chuckled as we talked about pastries and potion ingredients, "As you well know, potions was never my forte. Herbology was just fine, but potions! I strive for excellence, but that was one area that I was lucky to even be succeeding, let alone surpassing my goals."

When I next looked at my watch, I gasped, "Oh! I am going to be late. Thank you for the tea, Mr. Ollivander. I must be going." With a wink he took my teacup, "Yes, you have fun with the young Mr. Malfoy. Enjoy the rest of your evening, I will be looking forward to our next chat." I gave him a small smile as I pulled my hood up around my hair and took off toward the Leaky Cauldron.

I arrived at exactly six o'clock. Looking around, I didn't see him yet so I took a seat at the bar. Luckily, I didn't see anyone I recognized inside aside from Sam. He gave me a smile, but I could tell it would be a moment before he made his way to me. I glanced up and around the area again, looking for a flash of his silver eyes.

As the door opened, there he was. Draco's eyes scanned the room as he dusted some snow from his hat. When his eyes met mine, a shock went through me. I couldn't look away as the corners of his eyes began to crinkle with his smile. His face almost appeared to glow as he took a few steps toward me. I barely noticed the door behind him opening again, but I quickly ducked my head, pulling my hood closer over my ears to hide from the man entering. I got down from the stool I was sitting on and followed the edge of the bar to the wall. Draco met me as I headed toward the door. I glanced up at him for a moment, he was scanning the room for a second time, and I saw when he made the connection. Ronald was just sitting down at the bar, waving Sam over to him as I began to move.

I headed toward the door, keeping my head down. I didn't stop moving until I was out the door and down a block away. Draco, kept pace with me, and to my surprise, he didn't say a word. "I'm sorry, I just can't be around him yet," my voice barely a whisper.

He shook his head, "I'm not sure what happened with you two, and it is none of my business. But you do not need to apologize for not wanting to be around him." He seemed to pause, his hand held out in front of him, lowered to his side, "Why don't we keep walking, a few blocks over, there is a muggle restaurant. I've never seen any witches or wizards in there, so it should be a little more discreet if that is what you're aiming for." I let out a sigh of relief, "That would be great. I didn't know you knew of any muggle restaurants."

He offered his arm to me, but I declined as he began to lead the way. "Well, after the war, even though I had been exonerated for my involvement, there were still plenty of people who didn't enjoy my presence, and some even harassed me. I took it upon myself to find new places to explore and enjoy, without the judgmental eyes. Hardly anyone speaks to me now, and mostly I hope it stays that way. I like to think they forgot who I was, rather than they are ignoring me."

A light dusting of snow was falling as we walked, covering our foot prints. "I think you'll enjoy the food. There are a few places like this one nearby, but this one makes the best fish, in my opinion. The breading is different, and that makes it perfect." He was watching me now, as he spoke. If anyone had told me, I would be listening to Draco Malfoy tell me about why one muggle restaurant was better than another, I would have laughed. But he'd been nothing but courteous the entire time. Now, earlier in the day, the previous day. Maybe all he needed was time away, away from the pressures of the wizarding world and the school even. Or maybe, I had no idea what I was talking about. But for what it might be worth, he seemed truly genuine.

He held the door open to a building with a small glowing OPEN sign outside. I shook the snow off my hood just before entering. It was fairly small, some tables and chairs spread around, and there seemed to be a bar that curved around a wall and into another section. A woman in black slacks greeted us with two menus, before she could say more than hello, Draco was asking her for a booth. With a smile and a nod, she led us around the bar. On the other side of the wall, the bar continued, and there were multiple booths on this side, with a small stage in the corner near the window to the street. A man in a tan suit jacket, with a long shaggy grey beard was strumming a guitar on the stage. "That's Gerald. He plays here a couple times a week," he said as we took our seats. The woman disappeared for a moment and returned with two glasses of water, "Jackie will be right over."

"I hope a booth is okay, I prefer sitting on this side of the restaurant, plus the booths are far more comfortable than the wooden chairs," Draco picked up his menu and thumbed through a couple pages before seeming coming to a conclusion and setting it down again. I picked up my own, "I don't mind either way. You seem familiar with this place, so I will trust your judgement. How often do you come here?"

"A few times a month. Sometimes I come in and just sit at the bar with coffee while I read. I can be here without really having to think about the people around me. Aside from making sure I don't bring in anything too conspicuous, of course," the corners of his mouth tugged into an almost invisible smile as he glanced around. There weren't very many people sitting on this side of the building. A couple people sat at the bar, a couple more stood around the stage with drinks in hand, chatting and occasionally clapping. Only one other booth was occupied, close to the window.

I relaxed as I sipped my water, "I can see the charm this place has," I scanned through the menu and set it down, "Why don't you order for both of us? Everything looks wonderful, I'm not sure I could decide." He seemed shocked at my suggestion, but quickly covered it with a smile, "Thank you for allowing me the honor of choosing your food." He chuckled and bowed his head for a moment, "Ever a surprise with you. Do you want a drink of some variety?" I hadn't thought of that, I bit my lip for a moment considering. "Well, if you're going to be ordering alcohol, I prefer ale. And if not, I think I will take tea." Draco nodded, "I wondered what your drink of choice might be."

He stopped as the waiter came to our table, he was a fairly tall man with dark hair styled in a swept back kind of look. His eyes lingered on me a moment, and I pulled my sweater closer around my ears, trying to hide from his gaze. "I'm Jackie, what can I get for you tonight?" He flashed a grin across the table, his eyes lingering yet again. His eyes seemed to search me over, looking for who knows what. I caught Draco's eyes, and he cleared his throat. Jackie turned to him, "We will have two orders of fish and chips, an ale for the lady and whiskey neat for myself. Thank you." He promptly put the menus together and held them out. Jackie smiled and took them, "Be right back with your drinks."

I relaxed a little as he disappeared behind the bar. Draco stood and shrugged off his coat, the grey of his sweater contrasting with his light skin, "I'm sorry about Jackie. I have only ever been here alone, so I wasn't aware that he would have such a reaction." He sat down again with one arm outstretched across the table. I sat a little straighter and shrugged off my own coat to set it beside me in the booth. My own sweater was green, one of the last things I received from my parents before the war, and as such it was a little loose. I sipped on my water again, "It's just odd, you know? But in a different way. In our world, I have an idea of what they are probably thinking while they stare at me. But here, I just was unprepared for the added attention." Draco picked up his own water, "I kind of like the odd reactions I get out here. I am unaware of what exactly people might be thinking, but it is often better than what most of…our world is often saying as I walk by. And in a way, it has allowed me to care less about what they are thinking in either world. People are allowed to have their own opinions, whether those opinions are based off of facts or falsehoods, or based on nothing at all."

I nodded as Jackie came back to the table, "An ale for the lady, and a whiskey for the gentleman. Your food will be out shortly." This time he didn't linger; he gave us each a quick glance with a smile and headed over to another table. I scanned the room one more time before meeting Draco's eyes. He seemed to be observing me, and those eyes held mine. They almost seemed to be swirling with thoughts, and I felt like I was melting into silver pools of light. Sometimes his eyes appeared more grey than silver, but whether that was due to lighting or to something else, I didn't know.

We stared at each other like that, barely blinking. The only sound coming from the stage where Gerald was still strumming along. At some point Draco had begun to sing along, just barely audible. I smiled and shook my head from my trance, "Well, I didn't know you could sing. Draco," His eyes widened and a bright pink tinge spread across his face. I barely contained my laugh with a smile. He brushed his hand through his hair and cleared his throat, "Well, I wouldn't consider that singing. More like croaking along." He grunted and shifted in his seat. Without a thought I took the hand still on the table with both of mine, "I think it was lovely." I held his gaze and he smiled, a pure and genuine smile. The moment broke as Jackie had arrived at the table with our food. I quickly took my hands away and Jackie set the food in front of us, "Is there anything else I can get for you?" I couldn't look up, heat spreading through my own face. What on earth was I doing?

When I looked up next, Jackie was walking away and Draco was just taking his first bite. It must be delicious because his eyes closed as he savored the food. I looked down at my own plate and it did smell amazing, my mouth was watering already. We ate in heavenly silence as we enjoyed each bite, finally broken when I was mostly finished, "I have to admit, this is the best fish and chips I have had for some time." I laughed as he quirked an eyebrow at me, "It is in fact the best. At least in my opinion, I have had no others as good. And this is by no means my favorite food or meal. But sometimes it's the small things, that bring me the most pleasure." He grinned as he popped another chip into his mouth.

"Thank you for spending time with me, Draco." He paused, a serious look on his face as he leaned forward across the table, "Thank you, Hermione. For spending time with me. And for speaking to me without the scorn or judgment that I have grown so accustomed to. Truly, I have enjoyed your company." My voice caught in my throat as my eyes roamed his face for any sign of insincerity, for any sign that this might be some prank or ploy to make me vulnerable. No matter how hard I looked, his eyes were glittering with the truth of his words.

The crowd around the stage seemed to grow and the noise drew our attention. An older woman was joining Gerald on the stage, people from both sides of the building seemed to be filtering in. After a chord the woman began to sing, "I found myself dreaming, in silver and gold." Draco stood and straightened his sweater, he extended a hand to me. Some of the people gathered around the stage were swaying back and forth, pairing off to dance. I looked toward the stage and back at Draco's hand, waiting for my decision.

Cautiously, I placed my hand in his. He helped me to stand and guided me just a few steps outward from our table. I placed one hand on his shoulder, one of his coming to rest lightly on my waist, our other hands connecting with each other. Our actions seemed so natural as we began to sway with the music.

"We were walking on moonlight, you pulled me close." All I could hear was the music swirling around us as we turned in circles.

Gerald's gravelly voice seemed to smooth out as he sang, "In the blink of an eye, just a whisper of smoke, you could lose everything, the truth is you never know."

Draco's hand moved from my waist to my back as my hand moved from his shoulder to the back of his neck, closing some of the distance between us.

The voices merged, "I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you. I'm gonna hold you, like I'm saying goodbye." I found myself resting my head against his chest as the song continued to swirl around us, bringing us closer together. The chords finished and the crowd began clapping and cheering.

But Draco and I were still swaying as they started up a new song. "Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one if you want me to." Our entwined hands came close to where my head was resting, and my hand left his to hold onto his shoulder, while his hand stroked into my hair.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. And anywhere, I would've followed you." My hand moved from the back of his neck to his silky short hair.

"And I will swallow my pride, you're the one that I love, and I'm saying goodbye." In his arms, all that I felt was his heart beat under me. The music was almost tangible as each note flowed through me.

"Say something." The crowd seemed miles away as they cheered and clapped for the two on the stage. Words were being said, but it just sounded like whispers in the distance. As new notes seemed to come to life, taking on a new feel, I looked up to catch a glimpse of Draco's face.

Suddenly, I remembered who we were, where we were, and I realized that at that time, I hadn't cared about anything but being in his arms. A war of emotions raged inside of me. Should I have allowed myself this time of vulnerability? Should I trust him? Should I continue to stand here?

I took a breath to slow the war. Logically, there was nothing to fear, I had danced with him. Nothing about this situation is inherently bad. I was not hurt, I was not coerced, I was not afraid. Why should I fear this, when he has done nothing to hurt me, nothing to make me afraid? Unless he was hiding it so well that I could not see it, like with Ronald. All the lies he told. I think at one time, he did care for me, and maybe it was that thought that blinded me to his changes. I only saw what I wanted to see.

But this. This was different. I wasn't looking for anything except the chance of deceit. Catching his eyes, seeing his smile and the swirl of emotions that seemed to be mixing in the silver, solidified my answer. This was okay. In fact, it had been nice. Forgetting about the world around us, not feeling the anxiety boiling under my skin, even in a situation that probably should have. "Would you like to sit down, or keep dancing?"

I smiled, my ears tuning in to the rest of the crowd now. A more upbeat song began, "I suppose we ought to sit. At least so I can drink some more water." We separated, but when he offered his arm, even though it was a short walk to the table, I linked my arm in his. Maybe all the time I spent alone, left me forgetting that I do know how to be friendly. We retook our seats, waters in hand.

"I'm sorry for having been so standoffish. I've spent so much time alone that I think I have forgotten how to act. I only have Wopsy to spend time with lately. Oh and now of course Gavyn."

"Oh is that the little puff you took home? I don't know if you had told me his name," he leaned over the table, "Hermione. If you ask me, I don't think you've been too standoffish at all. You could've been outright rude to me and I don't know that I would've complained." I took his hand sitting on the table as he continued, "The past still haunts me. But today, it's barely touched me. I. Well I had fun today. The time we have spent. It's like we're friends. And I like that."

I nodded, "It's been odd, you know. I never would have thought we could be friends. But maybe, having been separated from the world, and the voices that want to speak over others…Maybe that separation has been good. I haven't had so much fun in a public setting since well before I left Hogwarts last year. And I want to get back to teaching. I want to retake my position there. And I think I would like to be your friend. Draco." He hadn't pushed me to anything, he had backed off and given me my space each time I needed it. I've been the one to initiate almost everything. When he offered his arm earlier, I refused and he dropped it. When I needed to leave the Leaky Cauldron, he let me. He didn't pry. When he offered me his hand to dance, I could have refused. I was the one that chose to dance. I was the one that closed the distance. And I was the one that took his hand as he spoke. I was the one still holding his hand.

I was in control of the situation. And I dare say, I would continue to be in control of the situation until I decided otherwise. And I think he would let me. Calm washed over me, soothing the last of my worries. I could feel my own fire being tended, sparked anew by this knowledge.

_I am in control. I will not let anything, or anyone control me again._

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**I hope you are all enjoying the story! Sorry about the late update! :)**

**Note: I do not own any of the songs, lyrics, or characters in the story.**

**Songs**

**Like I'm Gonna Lose You by Meghan Trainor and John Legend**

**Say Something by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera**

**PS I have a link to a guitar cover of Say Something in reference to how it sounds different than the official version. PM if you want me to send you the link.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello folks! I really hope you are enjoying the story, feel free to let me know what you think!**

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The waiter only brought one check for us, but I quickly calculated how much my part of the bill was and handed Draco the money as he was adding his own to the bill. "I'm not quite ready to let tonight end, if that is alright by you. Though I understand if you want to go home and get some rest. We have been out for the better part of the day," he said as he stood to put his coat on. I followed suit, "We have been out for a while today. But I am not opposed to continuing the day. What do you have in mind?" He smiled and offered me his arm once my coat was buttoned, I took it and he led us from the building, "Well it's not quite as cold as it was a few days ago, we could go for a walk or we could go to that little park I took you to?"

We began walking in the opposite direction of the Leaky Cauldron and for that I was grateful. To be honest, it felt nice to just walk and feel the breeze without the constant fear of being recognized. Without fear at all in fact. "Why don't we just walk for a bit?"

He nodded, humming the song that was playing on our way out. This was entirely new, I had never in my life thought that I would be so calm around Draco Malfoy, of all the people in the world. Even being near Harry made me nervous, but that wasn't entirely his fault. When I had been coming to terms with what Ronald had become, what I had been allowing, Harry didn't understand. But I didn't explain it very well either. We were both figuring out that maybe, Ronald had changed during the war, and not for the better. It was like the horcrux was still with him, he carried that weight different than us, and he resented us for it. He was jealous of everything we supposedly had.

The words he used were enough, but the physical began on our wedding night. I should have left him before then, I should never have said yes in the first place.

When we split up, the papers didn't know what to make of it. Some speculated that Harry and I had been a couple, but that was quickly dismissed when Ginny had given her statements to the press herself. She told them to bugger off so exceptionally well, that the papers had almost completely stopped writing about "The Golden Trio."

Now we were just brief mentions when the memorial services came up and when we accomplished major things. That didn't stop me from avoiding them at every possible moment though.

I didn't realize that I had drifted so far until a tug at my arm made me stop in my tracks. Draco had stopped, concern lacing the light from the moon on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something, his mouth opening and closing briefly. His free hand came slowly to take hold of my other hand, "You don't need to tell me anything. We both know there has been a lot to sift through. But I want you to know, if you need to talk about where your mind was, I'm all ears. Who am I to judge?" He gave my hand a gentle squeeze that I felt radiate through my chest. What did I say that made him so concerned? Why was he concerned in the first place?

I searched his face for what felt like ages, watching as anxiousness added to the concern playing across his features. I lowered my head to break the gaze, giving some of the snow beneath my feet a mild kick, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Truly this has been a wonderful evening. I am not trying to ruin it." I felt him take my hand, bringing it up, to press his lips so softly against my skin. He lingered like that until I looked up to meet his gaze, "You haven't ruined anything. I'm curious to know your mind. You might not trust me yet, but I am hoping to earn that someday."

The question rang through my mind, _Could I trust him? Do I already trust him?_ I could hear Rita Skeeter in the back of my head, "Inquiring minds, want to know!" I felt the shift as quickly as it came, the sense of calm that flooded me, that seemed to flow from where our hands met. Warmth spread through me in a subtle way, slow like when you drink hot tea and the warmth echoes, pulsing outward. This man, who once tormented me, was now a soothing presence of all things. "Maybe," I whispered, "Maybe one day I'll tell you. But not now." That seemed to be enough for him, the worry easing from his face, he lowered my hand and, giving it one more gentle squeeze, released it, ready to begin our walk again.

A quiet settled over us, and while that did not lessen the activity in my brain, it did ease the tension that had been building in my shoulders. I could feel myself relaxing at his side, arm in arm. When the wind picked up, I moved instinctively, brushing closer against his side. Our conversation picked back up, discussing mostly the mundane until he asked about the past holiday, "What did you do for Christmas?"

I sighed, "Haven't you heard?" He seemed puzzled by my question, "I don't pay much attention to the papers nowadays, just the Quibbler. And you know who runs that paper, so no, I don't believe I know what you mean. Plus how many from this world do you think seek me out to talk?"

I debated internally before taking a tighter grip on his arm, "Well before I went into hiding, I erased the memory of me from my parents. They still live in Australia right now. I can't go back to the Burrow, I'm not sure if Molly would have me anymore, but even so, I can't visit if Ronald will be there. Harry married Ginny, so of course he went there. And honestly, I don't keep in contact with very many either, so I spent my Christmas at my house. But I wasn't completely alone." A small smile played on my lips, "Wopsy keeps me company most days when she isn't running her own errands and tending to herself."

I glanced at him to see him quirk an eyebrow at me, "Who is Wopsy? That sounds like a house elf name, but I know you of all people wouldn't…" His words faded as I nodded, "You're right. I wouldn't. Wopsy is in fact a house elf. When S.P.E.W. got up and running in an official capacity, she was one of the first house elves we freed. She had been chained for so long, hidden from the light, barely more than a twig. The scars she bears from her years…There are so many. After I helped her regain her health, she decided to stay with me. She chose me as a friend, and I love her all the more for it. She has her own house and her own way of living. But she often spends time with me at my house, helping me. She's the only being that can get past my wards, the only friend I keep in touch with on a regular basis." I giggled briefly, remembering what she had said to me, "She warned me to be careful around you, even called you a weirdo."

The astonishment that graced his face was a sight to see! My giggles turned into full on laughter as he regained his composure and gave me a playful look, "Why I never, I am not some weirdo. Do make sure to tell your friend that Draco Malfoy, of all people, is not some odd folk to be messed with." He started to laugh as he finished and I wiped a tear from my eye as the laughter from us both subsided. "She said she remembered Dobby, how he would bring her food and water while she was chained. She once belonged to your aunt, but Wopsy didn't exactly speak ill of you. Just," I paused, "Some other members of your family." He looked profoundly sad, so much so that I pulled us to a stop, lifting my free hand to rest on his shoulder, "You're not them. I can see you; you are more than just the name." And I believed it, I meant it, feeling the sadness roll off him as we stood there, he wasn't just a Malfoy. "I never got to tell him how sorry I was. Dobby was quite funny, always meaning well, but making a mess of things. He was a little spark of good in my life, but my father ruins everything he touches."

A field of unspoken words lay between us, memories neither of us were ready to share and discuss. The tension hung in the air like a fog, so thick I could barely breathe. Our eyes locked, and suddenly we were much closer, his arms came to wrap around me, as mine went to his shoulders. I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against his chest, basking in the warmth from his embrace. We comforted each other, allowing the tension to pass, the thick emotions to fade, put aside for another day.

When we pulled back, we both let out short sighs, "I have enjoyed tonight. And, to be honest, I would like to continue these outings. Harry and Ginny want me to visit, and if Teddy really has taken such a liking to you, maybe you should come with me. I'm supposed to visit them in just a few days, if you'd be willing. Draco?"

He seemed to mull it over for a moment before giving me a smile, "I would be happy to join you. Plus the little devil has grown on me, but don't tell anyone. I still have a reputation to uphold." He put his nose in the air and for a moment he looked more like the Malfoy that sneered at me all those years in the halls, but there was a hint of playfulness in his expression. Enough that even with his stern face, I laughed. Without the slicked back hair, and remembering when his hat flew from his head, his imitation only made me hug him close, laughing into his chest. "Why I never, how dare you laugh at a Malfoy," even though he tried to keep his tone serious, I could hear the humor in his voice as his arms came around me again in a slow embrace, one hand sliding under my hair to rest on the back of my neck. The rumble of his voice in his chest felt good against my ear.

I breathed in deep as I tried to recover from my fit of laughter. He smelled like fresh parchment and mint, and something else, something familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. My breath hitched as I felt his face rest on top of my head. I could hear him take in a deep breath, much like the one I had taken. I must have stiffened in his arms because I felt him pulling away, "Maybe this is where we part ways." His hand still held the back of my neck, his fingers playing with some of my hair their and a light shiver ran down my spine. He must've taken that as a sign that I was cold because his hands came to pull the top of my coat closer to my neck, leaving one hand to rest on my shoulder, and the other to straighten his hat. "I'd offer to walk you home but I think I already know the answer," he gave me a small smile and I could feel my face heating up at the intensity in his eyes. I wanted to move closer, and at the same time I wanted to run. So I did neither of those things, staring back at him as I questioned my reactions. "Thank you for spending time with me again, Hermione. I look forward to visiting the Potter's with you. Is there somewhere you would like to meet beforehand? You could meet me at my flat if you'd like."

He started to lift his hand to my face, and then dropped it back at his side. "I can meet you at your flat. How about at noon? And then we can floo to Harry's." He nodded at my suggestions, "Of course. I will see you then." He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips once more. We took a few steps into the alley way, I smiled at him, and then I was gone. Home outside my wards, I realized there was a note in my hand. It was the location of his flat, on a faded piece of parchment.


	13. Chapter 13

**Here's an early update!**

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_I could hear my screams, and the pain was just as strong as ever as she carved the words into my skin. I could feel the tears falling from my eyes as those silver eyes swirled across the room. A silent plea lay in those eyes, the same one that stuck in my throat. Please. I didn't hate him in that moment, how could I have? He had done so much to try and pretend that he didn't know who we were._

_A woman with a silver streak in her hair, his mother I think, had a grip so tight on his arm, her knuckles were white. They both looked on with stormy eyes. He couldn't help me then, no one could have. It was something I had to endure, for the good of all, I had to get through this. The pain tried to take me away to the darkness, but though I couldn't scream anymore, I refused to go. My throat was raw, my strength all but gone, but those eyes held my plea and anchored me._

The sun filtered past my curtains, lighting the room as Gavyn bounced next to my face. I gave him a smile and a pat as I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Today I was going to visit Harry. For once after my nightmare, I didn't feel so afraid. Oddly enough, I felt determined. The past was losing its hold over my sanity. I was strong enough to get through that, I could be strong enough to stand again.

Quickly I made my way to the shower, forgoing my usual trip around the house to check the doors and windows. I brushed my hair and tried to pull it back so Teddy would have less to hold on to. I smiled at the thought as I slid on a pair of jeans and a fitted long sleeved shirt. Gavyn had perched himself upon my dresser and I scooped him up, taking him with me as I found my way to the kitchen.

Once we were both fed, I set him down on the couch. He gave me a long look as I scratched his head. "Oh don't worry you, I'll be home before you know it." I slid on a pair of boots and my coat as I headed out the door. I decidedly left my scarf behind, again for fear of those grabby toddler hands.

I found that I was in a surprisingly good mood as I made my way to the edge of my wards. Once they were back in place, I apparated. I made my way quickly down the street and into a stone building. Up the stairs and down the hall was the door to Draco's flat. I knocked twice, lingering in the hallway feeling slightly uneasy. What if I read the directions wrong? What if he wasn't home? What..

The door opened to a smiling and half naked Draco Malfoy. Water dripped from his hair onto his shoulders, which then trailed its way down his smooth chest. I felt the heat as a blush spread across my face. Draco quickly stepped to the side, "Come in, sorry. You're a tad earlier than I expected. I won't be long." I entered and he shut the door behind me, giving me a quick smile as he turned to walk down a hallway. His firm back ghosted around a corner and I let out the breath I hadn't known I was holding.

I shook my head to clear it, letting the heat fade as I looked around. It was much simpler than I anticipated. There was nothing grand about his flat, in fact it was rather practical. There was a kitchen to one side with a small table and two chairs sat around it, a plate and mug sat next to the sink, probably from whatever he had just eaten. To the other side was a living space, a couch and two chairs sat around a coffee table and, was that a TV? Who would have thought? A smile spread over my face as I explored the living space, looking out the window I could see the people underneath in the street, going about their daily business. When I turned around, it suddenly stuck me, there was practically no color in the room. The walls were a light tan, and the furniture was mostly dark browns. The only thing that stood out was the rug under the coffee table. A round, light green rug was the only piece of color in the space.

Drawn to the coffee table now, I took note of the books spread open. Each open to a page concerning healing. One was a salve, one was a potion and the other was a charm. It looked like he was still experimenting with that revision to Skele-Gro. I took note of which books they were and looked up just in time to see Draco walk around the corner, a hint of pink tinging his cheeks. His hair, now dry, was shorter than it had been the other day. He wore a blue long sleeved shirt, similar to the one I wore and a pair of muggle jeans. He was shrugging on his coat as he spoke, "Sorry about that. You did say noon. And it is," he looked at his watch, "Well it appears to only just now be 5 til noon. From now on, I will have to be prepared sooner." He gave me a smile as he picked up his scarf, "Oh if I were you I would leave that. Last I spent with Teddy, he nearly choked me with the way he tugged on it." He nodded and quickly dropped the item, as if it had bitten him. "Right, well." He seemed nervous as he looked around the room before giving me a brilliant smile, "Welcome to my flat. It isn't much but it's mine, you know?"

I nodded and he moved closer, I could feel every step he took in my chest, like his footsteps matched my heart beat. He stopped just a foot away from me, closing the curtains to the street, muttering as he put up a ward. "Just down the hall is a study room, that is where the Floo is, if you'd follow me." He smiled again as I followed him. We passed by two closed doors before entering into what appeared to be a miniature library with a fire place on the far wall. I looked in awe for a moment, "I definitely need a room like this." He smiled and started toward the Floo. This room had lots of color, not only from the different book covers, but each of the Hogwarts crests hung above the fire place with the Hogwarts banner itself in the middle. His Nimbus 2001 was displayed just above the mantle and below the crests. I guess I never realized how sentimental he might be. He handed me some powder and I stepped into the network, "See you there," I winked just before I dropped the powder.

I exited Harry's Floo just a few seconds before Draco. Already I could hear Teddy in the other room, "When Mio? Want Mio!" Draco chuckled as we both brushed some soot off our clothes. I hung my coat on a nearby rack and extended my hand for Draco's which he promptly handed me. "Aunt Mio is coming, Teddy. You have to be nice if you want her to tell you a story." I could see the pout on his face as Harry spoke. When we rounded the corner, Teddy came stumbling towards me on his short little legs, "Mio!" I scooped him up quickly and spun him around once before settling him on my hip. I had certainly missed him. I nuzzled my nose against his head and gave him a quick peck, "Are you being mean to Daddy? Hm? And where's your little brother?" As I spoke I heard Ginny cooing to the boy in her arms, "James is being a good little boy in mama's arms, aren't you?" She smiled up at me as Harry came to hug me, giving Teddy a quick tickle.

I turned just in time to see Harry and Draco shaking hands, with smiles on their faces. What had I missed? I had told him Draco would be joining me, and while he had been surprised, he didn't seem concerned at all. And now, here they were shaking hands like two good mates. I wondered briefly what brought the two together to make them seem so much like friends, but Teddy leapt from my arms, thoroughly distracting me. "Coco!" Draco caught Teddy effortlessly holding him awkwardly away from him as the boy wriggled in his hands, "Coco up!" Draco shook his head and put the boy on his shoulder, keeping his hands wrapped firmly around Teddy's little legs. Ginny hugged me next, one arm around me, while putting baby James close enough that I could hold him if I wanted. Who could resist that little face? Soon I was holding James and Harry was holding Ginny, while Teddy started tugging on Draco's hair, giving it a delightfully messy look.

"So Coco how have you been?" Harry chuckled as Ginny used the name Teddy had apparently given to Draco. His face flushed briefly but he regained his composure, "You know I hate that name. He is the only one allowed to call me that. I can't wait for the day he can pronounce his words properly." He gave her a smile and she motioned for us to sit, "I have been well though. Thank you for asking. Exams are in March, so not too much longer. Then maybe I'll be off the Quidditch field and into a real hospital." He paused and gave me a quick look with a smile, "Or maybe I'll ask Madame Pomphrey if she would mind taking me on." Ginny's eyes widened in surprise, but both she and Harry shared a smile.

James cooed and wiggled his little hands at me, grabbing hold of a piece of my hair that had fallen down. I sighed, deciding to let it be until he started to pull too hard. Ginny came to sit by me, wrapping one arm behind my back, "Please Hermione, tell me you'll visit more often. I've missed you so much, and Harry, and Teddy just won't stop asking for you." She pleaded with those big eyes of hers, successfully giving me the puppy dog stare.

I sighed as I looked at her, "I will when I am free. But only because you asked so nicely." She grinned at me and gave me a helping hand to remove the piece of my hair from James' hand.

As long as it had been since spending time with them, and as nervous as I was when I thought about the visit, I found myself relaxing as Ginny told me all about her plans for the year and the Holyhead Harpies, "I had to take off the last seven or so months as you know, so when I return to practice, I have to double my efforts. I won't let the team go thinking a pregnancy will stop me!" She rambled on about Quidditch and how extensive she had planned her training to be, Harry and Draco seemed to be listening intently, occasionally chiming in with suggestions or telling her how mad it was to try and do all that in one day. I nodded and smiled as she continued, this was one topic that, while I knew the rules, I honestly never invested that much time into it to keep up with the terminology.

James babbled at me, his grabby little fingers reaching for my hair over and over. I was doing a fairly good job of keeping it out of reach. I looked up from his pudgy cheeks and saw Wopsy as she popped into the room. Teddy squealed in delight and managed to wriggle free from Draco, sliding to the ground and running up to her. He was almost her height, and his hair was a light orange, flickering with streaks of yellow, like a fire. "Wopsy! Wopsy play!" Ginny snickered next to me, and I looked on in mild shock, "Wopsy?" James snagged a piece of my hair as I shifted. Wopsy for that matter managed to wrangle Teddy in her arms and gave him a light toss into the air and snapped her fingers. Soon Teddy was floating in the air doing somersaults he went. Wopsy gave me a sheepish grin, "Wopsy loves the young ones." Teddy came floating down into Harry's lap with another snap of her fingers. Draco looked between me and Wopsy as she released my hair from James' grasp, and she scooped him from my arms.

"Wopsy was just coming to take the young ones upstairs. It's nappy time Teddy, and then we play," Teddy giggled as he hopped down and ran from the room with Wopsy close behind him, she gave me a wink on her way out. Ginny stood, stretching as she went. "Who wants to go for a fly?"

Flying? Oh no, not me. Harry nodded but gave me a knowing look, "You don't have to fly on your own you know." Ginny nodded down at me, taking my hands and pulling me next to her, "You could fly with me Hermione! Come on, it'll be fun!"

I was shaking my head before she even finished her suggestion, "Oh no, I know very well how you fly thank you. If I'm flying with anyone it will be with one of the boys here." She scoffed as Harry chuckled, "You would rather ride with Harry, with Draco?! Than me? I thought we were friends!"

Draco, to his credit did little more than smile as he and Harry closed some of the space. Harry laid a hand on Ginny's shoulder, "I think you know perfectly well that you fly crazier than any of us. Why do you think you're such a good chaser? Hm?" Ginny sighed, "Fine. Either way, won't you come fly with us?" She was really pulling out all the stops with those puppy dog eyes. It wasn't until I looked away to meet Harry's green and then Draco's silver eyes that I nodded, feeling reassured that at least if I wasn't flying with her that I would probably not turn green while in the air.

We started heading outside as Ginny ran ahead, practically prancing as she went. Draco came to walk beside me, "If you would like you can ride with me. However, I understand if you'd rather ride with Harry." I nodded as we walked, "Maybe. Though I sort of feel I owe it to Harry to spend some time with him." He continued quietly next to me as we passed through the illusion. "Bloody hell, I should have known," Draco gasped at the sight before us. A smaller version of a quidditch arena was in front of them, complete with stands for people to sit in. I couldn't help but shake my head; anxiousness spread through me as we came to the stairs. Ginny was already practically gone up the stairs and Harry sort of gave me a shrug as he bounded up behind her. Draco was just a few steps up when he turned to look at me, still standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"You know," he started back down, "You say you owe Harry time. But you don't owe him this time specifically. You don't have to fly." He extended a hand to me. And I stood there contemplating. Again, all he did was offer me choices. My gaze focused on his hand, open, inviting but not demanding. I searched his face, as I searched my mind.

I took his hand just as he was starting to let it drop, "I'm flying. But not because I owe it to him." I smiled as his eyes lit up. I don't want to be scared anymore.

At the top of the stairs I dropped Draco's hand allowing him to ooh and aw as he observed the different brooms Harry and Ginny seemed to have collected. He and Ginny exchanged a few words before she ran to a broom with a yellow and green ribbons tied to it.

Harry came to stand by me with his broom in hand, "Fly with me?" I nodded slowly, nervousness just bubbling within, and went with him out to the platform. I looked up at the sky, fluffy clouds over head and the sun peeking through. Harry mounted his broom and awkwardly I followed. Ginny took off from nearby, zooming past us and spinning a few times as she went. "You'll need to hold on, Hermione. To me or the broom. I won't let you fall." I wrapped my arms around Harry and braced myself. He gave a gentle push off from the platform, but we didn't move far. Just hovered a few feet off the platform.

Draco mounted his broom nearby, and with a wink at us, he pushed out from the edge flying up to meet Ginny as she laughed. "You know Harry, you don't have to stay here. The wait is worse than going," I held on just a little bit tighter as I spoke. With a nod he took us off into the air and I tried not to look down. We flew in silence for a time as I adjusted; it was roughly thirty minutes before he spoke, "You know Hermione, I really appreciate you coming out tonight. We've missed you. I know it's been rough, but I want you to know that we are here and available."

I nodded into his shoulder as I looked up at the clouds, "I know Harry. It's…difficult to talk about, you know?" Draco and Ginny almost seemed to be playing tag in the sky, zooming about. She did some very intricate maneuvers that made me shiver, glad I did not fly with her. "Harry. It's important for you to know, I cannot be around him anymore. I don't want to tell you all the details right now, but I've filed a restraint against him. It doesn't help much, but at least now there are legal implications should he approach me." He seemed to sigh, "I know the fall out wasn't good, but I didn't know it was that bad. I don't want you to feel you can't talk to me, so just know I'll try to be there. Honestly we've had to refuse him before, he's a right foul git when he's not sober."

I remembered his love for Firewhiskey all too well. When he came home from the pub, reeking of alcohol, stumbling around and not understanding, all I was trying to do was help him. "I know how he gets. It's just one more reason you didn't see me for Christmas." He was shaking his head as we continued flying, going just a tad too fast for my liking, and honestly I just didn't think I was ready to really delve into this conversation more. "I think I am ready to get down." I didn't want to argue, and I didn't want to talk about Ronald. I was here to watch my friends, to spend time with them. But Harry could be persistent, so I knew I needed to end the conversation.

He flew me back to the platform and Ginny flew nearby, Draco landing near us. Ginny pouted, "Are you done so soon? We could slow down!" I just shook my head, "Then you wouldn't be having any fun! Harry go tell her." Harry gave me a quick hug and then flew toward her. I pulled my sleeves down a bit from the chill of the wind. I should've put up a warming charm before I got on that broom. _Come to think of it_, I pulled out my wand and did just that. "Are you sure you're done flying?" Draco's voice startled me. I thought he would have flown off by now, to rejoin the couple now flying around the field, doing loop de loops and somersaults in the air.

Draco moved closer to me, "If you're done flying, do you want me to sit with you?"

The flight itself wasn't that bad really, after flying on the back of a dragon, getting back on the broom hadn't been as terrible as I expected. Being in the air with Harry wasn't the problem, it was more the conversation. So, was I really done flying for the day? Maybe if I flew more, I would get used to it. "I don't know if I will ever enjoy flying. However, I will never get used to it if I avoid it." Draco gave me a sideways look, his eyes meeting mine with a hint of something flickering through them. I wrapped my arms around myself for a moment, "What?"

He shook his head, "Well, welcome aboard." He mounted his broom, "Would you rather ride in front? Better view from there." I bit my lip at the suggestion, _if I rode in front, I would have less to hold onto, just the broom. But I would be able to see better. But I wouldn't be able to hide anywhere. But if I rode in back, I would have to wrap my arms around him. Though would that really be a bad thing? But if I rode in back, I would have zero control over the broom. And if I rode in front I might have a little, not that I wanted to control it. And…_

I shook my head clearing my thoughts and strode toward him. I took hold of the front of the broom and he leaned back, allowing me to sit in front of him. I could hear a smile in his voice, "Maybe if you get comfortable, you can even steer for a while." It was like he had heard my thoughts. I took hold of the broom with both hands as his arms came around me, surrounding me in a warm embrace as his hands rested on the broom just ahead of my own. His breath was hot against my ear, "Ready?" I nodded and then, trying to push away the nervousness, I managed to say, "Yes. Let's go."

This nervousness felt different. It wasn't like getting onto the broom with Harry. It was more like a small burning in my chest, making me breathe a bit too fast, my heart pounding just a little harder than it should have.

With a little kick, we were flying. Coming to meet Harry and Ginny as she finished showing off a new trick she had learned, one that Harry seemed to fumble with. Ginny gave me a sideways look and smiled, brighter than ever. I could feel Draco's face, so close to my own as he leaned in again, "We can go as slow as you'd like Hermione." My breath caught for a moment. There was something in his tone, almost as if he were talking about something other than flying. And yet, while the nervousness was still there, it was like excitement had laced itself with the feeling. It was quite odd actually, not something I had experienced for some time now.

Draco didn't try to carry on a conversation as we flew as Harry had. He just let me get used to it I suppose, occasionally asking me if I wanted to go higher, or if I wanted to slow down. My hair was whipping around his face and I heard him sputter as more of it fell free, "Merlin, this wind is something." One of his hands left the broom and before I could panic too much, he was sliding it lightly up my arm. I was unsure if this was to be comforting or something else, but it seemed the former option as his hand made its way to my hair, to brush it to one side. I assumed this was so he could see. His hand, finished with its task, slid back down from my shoulder, along my arm and hand to eventually rest once more on the broom.

"Do you want to steer?" The question caught me off guard for a moment, how long had we been flying? Ginny was chasing Harry and he was flying right at us, looking behind him at his wife. My eyes widened as Harry barreled toward us. With some quick moves, and an extra dose of speed, Draco expertly maneuvered us out of the way. "Watch it," I cried as he flew past us.

"Blimey, I'm sorry!" I heard him yelling as he slowed. Ginny was definitely out maneuvering her husband as she came to fly near us, "Are you alright Hermione?" One hand came to my chest as I tried to slow my breathing from the close encounter. "I'll be just fine. That was very close. Any one of us could have been hurt!" Draco's chin rested on my shoulder, "But we didn't Hermione. I'll keep you safe from Harry's poor observation skills." Ginny's eyes locked with mine as his head continued to rest on my shoulder. The heat from his chest pressed up against my back was suddenly much warmer and spreading through me as I felt my face warming. She dropped her gaze first, flying in a circle around us before heading downward.

"I guess it's my turn to steer then?" I could feel his chuckle more than I heard it, "If you want. I can guide you if you'd like." I shook my head, "It's not that I _haven't_ ridden a broom. It's just that I do not _like_ to. So I do believe I have enough semblance of what to do as far as steering and not colliding with anyone. Or anything for that matter." His chest rumbled with amusement against my back, "I wasn't trying to insult you. I just was offering. But since you're so sure, be my guest. Just remember, I won't let you get hurt."

With that he leaned back, his hands came to rest on my waist, but it felt like he was barely touching me. A moment of panic set in, "I feel like you're going to fall off, or I will, if you don't hold to the broom, or at least hold tighter." Truly, I was concerned that he would fall off if he didn't at least take hold of the broom again. He was barely holding on at all, and what if I did make a mistake, and took us in some ridiculous loop that ended with him falling? It was such a long way down. Looking now, the ground was so far away and fear gripped me for a moment, "Will you please hold tighter? I'm afraid." Saying it out loud, I felt sort of pitiful. But I wasn't afraid for myself in that instance. I was afraid for him.

His hands slowly moved around me, his chest reconnecting with my back, both arms wrapping all the way around my middle, and he gave me a gentle squeeze, "You won't fall Hermione. I've got you." I shook my head as the fear lessened, "I'm not afraid _I'll_ fall. But thank you for the reassurance." I took a breath, the broom shook just a bit as my resolve wavered. But then I steadied myself, and flew slowly at first. Just following the edge of the field, as Harry dove down to where his wife was now standing. They were opening a box, but it was so far away that I couldn't see what was in it. I leaned forward, speeding up as I did so. Soon I was flying faster than I had ever allowed myself before. Honestly, the wind in my hair did feel rather nice. Draco tightened his hold just enough for me to notice, "Worried?"

"Never," his voice sounded like a whisper even though he was right next to my ear. I decided to try out the few maneuvers I knew, I mean, if I am going to bother flying, I might as well practice what I know right?

I took us higher, we climbed the sky, sun warming my skin as the cold from the day tried to bite through my warming charm. We lingered for a moment before I began my descent, slow at first, then picking up speed as we went. My heart felt like it jumped into my throat, and then we spun. Just one spin before we leveled out again. Harry now flying alongside us. My heart was pounding as I settled myself. I might not have been fond of the feeling but it felt good to be in control. "I guess I always thought you couldn't fly," he said from next to me. I lined up closer to him, grinning, "I thought you would know better than to underestimate me, Harry." He grinned back at me and for a moment, we were back at Hogwarts. The war and all the bad faded away.

Ginny was giggling from underneath us, "Hermione, you really should visit more often. Maybe I can teach you a thing or two in the air!" She was holding a quaffle in her hand as she rose to meet us. "I'm going to do some runs, you're welcome to join me, but somehow I think the answer will be no." She leaned back on her broom, "It's a lovely day and I haven't had this much energy in a while now. Those boys are a handful for sure." She took off toward the hoops and I could feel Draco's head shaking against my shoulder, "Harry, does she really only ever think about Quidditch?"

Harry was laughing and nodding at Draco's suggestion. At some point he had straightened because his chest was no longer pressed against my back, and I missed the warmth, but I didn't dare lean back. I had now spent more time in such extreme proximity to both him and Harry today than I had spent with anyone other than Wopsy in the last year. Instead of that realization making me uncomfortable, it made me happy. A smile grew on my face. The time I had spent away from everyone was necessary. But now, the time I was spending with people, people of my own choosing, was necessary. I would return to Hogwarts in the fall, I was sure of it.

As Ginny flew past us, I decided it was time to get out of the air, but then I remembered, "Will you take us down?" Draco leaned back in, his warmth returning and removed one of his arms from my waist, taking hold of the broom, "Ready to land?" I nodded as he took over. I was terrible at landings, always stumbling or worse, crashing as I went.

One of his arms remained around my waist until I felt my feet touch the ground, "Thank you for flying Air Malfoy, please exit to the left and have a good day." I laughed at his impression, dismounting to the left as he suggested, "Have you ever actually flown in a muggle plane?" He dismounted with mock shock, "A muggle plane? Why I never," he laughed as he put the broom away, "Actually I have. Though I will never do it again if I can avoid it. They are extremely uncomfortable. I am not fond of the way it sounds or moves through the sky. Portkeys are far quicker for long distance, as is the Floo." He turned to me with a grin as Harry landed, "Would it surprise you to know that I have a muggle car?"

I'm sure that the shock on my face matched Harry's as his mouth fell open, "Well, it's true. Actually I am rather fond of my vehicle, though I do not drive often." I shook my head as Harry spoke, "Well, while Ginny practices, why don't we go get some snacks. She'll be up here a bit I imagine." My stomach growled at just that moment and I saw Draco trying not to smile, "What's for dinner Potter?" Harry snorted, "Why don't you whip something up for us Malfoy?"

Once back in the house, I could hear pans clanking and it smelled heavenly. Following my nose, I found the kitchen where plates and spoons were flying through the air, "Oh Miss Mione! I knew yous all would be hungry." She gave me a wink, "There's soon to be done. Wopsy will have the roast out in time. Sit and eat a scone!" Harry went to a cupboard, pulling down some glasses, "I never know how you find your way around our kitchen so well Wopsy. You know, you don't need to cook? I feel like every time you come over you cook for us." Wopsy gave him a disapproving glare as he turned around, "Is the mister complaining?"

I hid my smile behind my hand as his face paled, "No! I would never complain! I-" She cut him off with a smile, "Then no needs to worry. Wopsy cooks when Wopsy wants. And I just know this is Teddy's favorite." With a curt nod she went back to what she was doing, snapping her fingers, a kettle poured three cups of hot tea and they flew out of the kitchen and into another room. I followed the cups knowing that that was Wopsy's hint to leave her be.

As I sat at Harry's dining table, I picked up the honey before anyone else could reach it. "Blimey Hermione, is she always like this?" I laughed at the way he plopped down across from me, taking the honey when I was done. "No, but she does like to cook. I can hardly keep her out of the kitchen at my own home and she takes it personally when you don't like her food. If I try to insist she not help me, well. I think you and I both know how that goes." Draco paused for a moment at the end of the table, a puzzled look on his face. I scooted my chair in a bit and picked up a scone, taking a small bite.

Eventually Draco took a seat beside Harry, reaching for a scone as he did so. Harry took a sip of his tea and then gave me a pointed look, "So what plans do you have?"

I took another bite as I considered his question. I definitely planned on returning to Hogwarts, resuming my position as Charms Professor. But what else?

"Well, I plan to help Draco study for his exam. Maybe redecorate one of the rooms at my house, I realized I am missing a library. And I intend to retake my position at Hogwarts in the fall," I paused for a moment, taking a sip of my tea. "I might consider stepping onto the Memorial committee for the five year anniversary." Draco's eyes held mine for a moment as I looked up.

Quickly I glanced at Harry, his concern was written plainly on his face, "Are you sure? I mean we both know they haven't been doing a terribly wonderful job, but that would be a huge undertaking for you." I nodded, "That's sort of the point. They haven't been doing a good job. The first anniversary was hard on everyone. But the rest, well. I don't think we need all those fancy bleeding ice sculptures this year." A shiver ran down my spine, remembering the dragon sculpture that had wine flowing from its mouth, looking like a stream of blood. "I don't remember who was in charge, but everything was just done in such poor taste. I'm only hoping this year goes better. But if it doesn't, I want to make sure next year is at the very least respectful! I mean honestly, they didn't even mention the losses we suffered. They only talked about how we should celebrate being free, but they didn't mention any of the important bits. You know, about how we should come together, be accepting, and realize that life is a precious thing."

I stopped, I was rambling. Harry had already heard some of this before, but it still frustrated me to no end. This year had to be different. And if it wasn't, I would step onto the committee. "I just want things to be done right," I sighed as I took another sip of tea. From the corner of my eye I saw Draco shifting in his seat as Harry was fiddling with his cup, "If you do step onto the committee, I know you will do an excellent job. But here's to hoping they do it right this time around, right Harry?" Draco nudged him just a bit with his elbow and Harry nodded. "I hope they don't try to make us give more speeches. I'm tired of talking about it." I could almost see the scenes playing across his face. And soon I was there too.

On the run, tracking down the horcruxes. Caught by the snatchers, breaking into the vault. The battle. The colors flying around me. Stepping over bodies of people I knew. Collecting the bodies. Crying.

I felt a single tear streak down my face and quickly wiped it away with a sigh, "It isn't that I don't think we should celebrate. We should. But if we don't give people the opportunity to grieve, and grieve together, we will never heal. We won't be able to smile when we tell people about how the war ended. We won't be able to move on, I know I haven't yet."

The room was quiet for some time, none of us moved, locked in our own heads, in our memories. This was what we needed, a time to share what happened. To let the younger generations know why the battle was so important. To give ourselves the time to share with each other.

Ginny's footsteps broke the silence and we all came back to ourselves, "I will step up whether this year goes well or not." I had made my decision, now I just had to follow through.

Conversation returned as Ginny entered the room and we discussed Harry's job as an Auror and my plans for the following year at Hogwarts. Curriculum ideas, what charms are most useful to teach to what years, and so on.

Wopsy joined us shortly with Teddy bouncing behind her. Ginny took James from her and Wopsy took the seat across from Draco, sitting up on some pillows while Ginny sat on the opposite side of me. Wopsy gave Draco a once over and introduced herself, "Wopsy is happy to be meeting you and has heard much about you." His face became more masked and he nodded, holding out a hand across the table, "It's a pleasure to meet you Wopsy, I have heard a lot about you too." She eyed his hand and then took it with a smile, "Hoping to see more of you. But first we eat!" Teddy climbed into Draco's lap and then across to Harry's, "Yay!" He giggled as Harry set him up in the chair next to him, "Remember to sit. Chairs are for?" Teddy sat in the chair, "Chairs are for butts! Not for feets." He giggled some more and Wopsy snapped her fingers, the food appeared in front of us and it smelled heavenly.

Conversation carried on as if we were just a big family. We talked about the children, the paper, cooking and recipes. We talked about Quidditch, again, because really there was no escaping it with this many players around a table. As I finished my plate, it felt so good, so right, that the feelings swirling inside me threatened to overwhelm me. I had to remember to breathe slowly, counting to calm my heart. It wasn't a bad feeling, but there was so much good in the room, so much love, that it almost hurt. I stared at my plate for a long time before remembering to smile and looked around at the pleasant smiles and faces around me. Wopsy pat my arm for a moment in a comforting gesture and I looked up to see Draco watching me, observing Wopsy and I. Having been caught his face tinted for a moment and then he smiled at us. I felt nervous and excited all at once though I didn't let it overwhelm me.

I smiled back at him and glanced at Ginny as she began to ask Draco's opinion on the broom he had ridden vs the latest installation of the Nimbus collection.

All too soon it was time to go. I could feel myself tiring from so much social interaction and as such, I was happy to go. We all hugged, I gave Teddy kisses on his cheeks, and thanked them for their time, "It really has been too long. We will have to do this again. And maybe. Maybe I will let you show me a trick or two on the broom, but I still won't ride with you Ginny." She laughed and hugged me close once more. Wopsy was rocking James and I smiled down at her, "I didn't know you spent so much time here, I'm glad that you do. I'll see you later Wopsy." She grinned up at me, "Miss Ginny is very funny, and so are the little ones. Wopsy just loves little ones." She was making funny faces at the baby in her arms, "Wopsy will see Miss Mione later, yes."

With that, Draco and I gathered our things by the Floo. "I have a book I would like to show you that I think would help with your studies but I need to fetch it, if you would like to discuss any of that tonight that is." Draco seemed surprised at my suggestion, "I would like that yes, I'll leave the Floo open for you. Coffee or tea?" I quirked my eyebrow at him, "Tea I suppose. Either is fine. I'll meet you soon." With that he smiled and disappeared into green flames.

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**Thank you for all the comments, I really appreciate your feedback. I think this is the longest chapter so far, I didn't feel I could split it up so I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!  
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**Question, would any of you be interested in a chapter from Draco's point of view? I'm considering it, just curious. Thanks either way :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**HI! I'm SO sorry for the late update! I started a new job and it's been crazy, new sleep schedule and everything. But with that, here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy! Please let me know your thoughts!**

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Past my wards and through the door, Gavyn greeted me, nuzzling my hand as I reached for him. I wonder if Draco would mind if I brought him along?

I found him some snacks and went to my desk where I had left the books. I picked up only the one I hadn't seen at his flat, it was an older book with handwriting in the margins. Maybe the notes on the side would have additional information he could use. Just before I walked out the door, Gavyn bounced in front of me, "Okay you can come with me." A smile formed on my face as I lifted him and set him on my shoulder. He immediately tucked himself under my hair. I picked up a scarf to wrap around him just in case.

Back through my wards, I stood in front of my Floo. I gave each of my owls a treat and picked up the powder. Something felt strange, but I couldn't place the feeling. I stepped in and shortly after, I stepped out of Draco's Floo, brushing off some soot, and checking on Gavyn beneath the scarf. Draco was sitting in a nearby chair and went to stand as I took off my scarf, "The tea isn't ready just yet, you were faster than I expected." He smiled as Gavyn peered out from under my hair, "I see you brought your little friend."

"Yes I do hope that is alright," he held out a hand to take my scarf and coat and I handed them over. He hung them up on a rack I hadn't noticed, "Would you prefer to work in here or the other room?" I glanced around, if we worked in the library room, I would end up spending much of my time looking through his books. I shook my head, "The living space is fine. Besides, you might want to keep an eye on the tea." He laughed as he led the way back to the living space, he paused in front of a closed door and reached a hand to open it, "I'll leave this door open so you know which door is which." Inside was a fairly large bathroom, decorated in grey and purple towels; I raised an eyebrow at him. Either he didn't see me, or he chose to ignore it as he continued down the hall. The coffee table had been pushed closer to the couch and raised so it wouldn't be so uncomfortable to lean over, the books still spread out and open, but now with notes and paper spread around them.

He checked on the tea and poured two cups as I sat on the couch. Gavyn was bouncing on my shoulder, I extended my arm to the table and soon he had made his way down and now was sitting on one of the open pages. I chuckled and pulled the book from my bag as Draco sat the teacups down on the table. He took a seat on the couch just far enough away that we weren't touching. His eyes grew as he saw the book, "Where did you find this? Most of these copies have long been lost, or are kept by families with no intention of giving them up." I placed the book in his hands, "I picked it up at a resale shop in Australia shortly after the war. I went to see if...well. So I spent a bit of time there and they had a resale shop for books sorted by topic. It was quite interesting. There was a small box that was where they put their newly acquired items, and that's where I found this. It says it was published in 1815, but open it up. The most interesting facts are inside."

For as old as the book was, it was well taken care of. The binding looked like it had been redone, but the rest of the book looked like someone had regularly performed an aging or a mending spell, trying to keep it new. Draco opened the pages carefully, noticing the different handwriting that was on almost every page. "Some of these tactics aren't used anymore but maybe the secret to improving the Skele-Gro lies in this book. If nothing else, whoever's handwriting this is has some interesting ideas for spells and potions."

We got to work discussing and comparing the books to the writing and our own theories and observations of them. Back and forth and taking notes ourselves, it was clear that we had similar ideas about what we wanted, we just had different approaches to them. My notes were scribbled more than written, but were otherwise in a precise organized matter. His on the other hand were clearly stated in perfect writing, but it seemed there was no rhyme or reason to the layout on his page, with arrows drawn leading from one small paragraph in a corner to another on the other side of the page. At some point he dropped the paper and when he put it back on the table, his next notes were upside down in comparison.

Draco stood, pacing for just a moment before waving his hands at a corner of the kitchen. The kitchen transformed, where cabinets had been, there was now a table with potion vials and ingredients, ink and quills, and two cauldrons perched upon it. He started adding some ingredients to one of the cauldrons as a bubbling sound started to come from the top, "Would you mind bringing that book over here? I have a stand." He pulled some things from a shelf I hadn't noticed and added that to the cauldron as I placed the book in the stand on the table.

He handed me a knife, "Thank you. Would you mind chopping some more of that bark for me? I'd like to have two variations brewing. I should have prepped more." I nodded and quickly got to work, potions had never been my favorite subject, but that certainly didn't mean I was bad at it. I chopped as he worked with the first cauldron, and soon I was adding ingredients to the second cauldron, following his directions and occasionally offering a suggestion, "So these need to brew for how long do you suppose?"

He took a step back, "Well at least for thirty minutes here, then we should be able to add the last bit of ingredients and I can show you that spell to test them." He flashed a dazzling grin at me. His hair was sort of ruffled, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and he just looked so excited about the prospect of possibly having a working potion. I giggled with a nod at him, and made my way back to the couch, comparing our notes.

He retook his seat, closer this time as he looked at the papers held in my hands, "Opinion?" He made a motion as if to nudge my arm, but he didn't touch me.

"Well by all rights, this should work. The last addition would be the syrup just before it is done," I said and handed him the papers. I picked up my tea and took a sip, with a giggle, "I suppose I should've put a warming charm on my cup." He almost looked concerned, "I can put one up now, it only takes a few minutes after. I tend to get caught up so I am forever grateful for the charm." He drew his wand, whispering and I thanked him, setting my cup down to let the charm take effect.

"You didn't need your wand to conjure your brewing station," he looked at me as he cast the charm on his own cup and put away his wand. "No. Some household charms and spells can be set to recognize certain people and motions, much like wards. I usually have an arm full of things when I want to use the station, so I removed it and adjusted it to recognize my magic and motions instead. As a whole speechless magic can be difficult to master, but wandless magic is even more so. However, this variation of household magic is fairly common in wizarding homes, so it isn't very difficult if you know the spell."

I nodded at that, "I don't know very many household spells to be honest. Muggle family and all."

"Hermione," he held his hand out, palm facing upward with his sleeves still rolled up so his dark mark was plainly visible. "I'd like to apologize for the past. We don't have to talk about it, but I want you to know that if I could do it all over, I would do it differently. Reflecting, I can see opportunities I could have taken but didn't, in school and at home." He paused and a small smile graced his lips, trying to lighten the mood, "I was a right foul git."

I rolled up my own sleeves, starting with my bare wrist, then slowly, painfully slow, I rolled up the sleeve covering my scar. I heard him take a breath, and didn't hear him release it until the whole word was uncovered. I held my hand out the way he had his, "I understand, I do. We pushed each other at school, fighting for the top spot, fighting with each other. At first I thought you hated me because I was a girl and a Gryffindor, an overachiever beating out you and everyone else to be the number one in our class. And then it was because of blood status. And then, I realized, it was possible, maybe it was because of your family." I gave him a small smile in return, "That didn't stop me from hitting you third year. You were a right foul git."

We stayed like that, each staring at the others arm, lost to our minds.

"I didn't know then, what the stakes were for you. I didn't come from some family where our reputation and our name was so important in the community. I know now, you could have been killed. By the death eaters, by Voldemort," I didn't miss his shudder at the name, "I'm glad you made it through. And I'm glad to know you now."

Our eyes met and I could feel the warmth spreading through my face, through my chest. None of the usual pain and sadness was present, this wasn't about feeling the upset, this was about acknowledging it. This was a step toward healing.

"It's no excuse for what I did, how I acted. For the things I said. I lived in fear, but that shouldn't have controlled me the way it did," his voice was firm even as his eyes swirled.

I moved my other hand to hover over his mark, and his free hand came to hover over my scar. I nodded, and he nodded, and then we lightly rested our hands on each other's mark of pain. We both flinched but didn't remove our hands. I never let anyone touch the scar outside of the healers, and I felt that he probably had a similar experience.

I began tracing the details on his mark as his own fingers did the same against my scar, our touches gentle and light. "I'm sorry for this," his eyes flashed for a moment with emotions as he looked away.

It took time for me to gather my thoughts, but neither of us stopped tracing, "Draco," he raised his eyes to meet mine, and our gazes locked in place. I didn't say all the words I wanted to say that were swirling around in my brain, I didn't tell him I understood, that wasn't what he needed right now, that wasn't what I needed right now. Instead I simply said, "I forgive you."

"Thank you," he whispered. A light thrum hummed inside my chest, somehow familiar, yet entirely new to me. There was a pulsing sound in the air, but I couldn't tell if I was just imagining it until he spoke, "Do you feel that?"

I couldn't look away, not that I wanted to, and he didn't seem to be making any moves either. "Yes," my own voice coming out as a whisper under whatever was happening.

We stopped tracing at the same time and our hands met, holding for just a moment before releasing. And with that, the thrum was gone, the pulsing sound disappeared.

We both looked around but found nothing odd or out of place. I almost missed the feeling, it had been comforting, steadying. "Maybe we should check on the potions," I suggested, filling the silence, distracting from the oddity that had just taken place.

Draco stood first and offered me a hand, which I took. He looked them over and then picked up a vial, I would assume the syrup, and poured just a few drops in to one, then the other cauldron. Both potions turned a sort of golden color and they shimmered in the light. "Draw your wand and I will teach you the spell," his voice was light as he drew his own wand, holding it over the cauldron. "Take your wand in a circular motion, counter clockwise, twice. Then give it a light swish up and back down," he demonstrated as he spoke and I followed suit, practicing the motion.

He spoke as he performed the motion once more, "Salvum Potem." A little puff of smoke came up from the cauldron and it shimmered in the air, the color shifting to a bright blue. The corners of his mouth turned up into a wide smile, "This one is safe, try that one." I waved my wand as he had done and whispered the words, and over the second cauldron the smoke came up, turning the same shade of bright blue. "Blue means it's safe, red means it has some possible negative side effects, and green means it's deadly. Of course some people might still react negatively if they have a particular allergy, but overall, blue is good to go." He leaned over the cauldrons and took a sniff, "Well they still don't smell too pleasant, but I have to say, it is better than most of the others so far. I'll be right back."

He took off down the hall into the room with the closed door. I smelled the potions myself, it was true they weren't exactly appealing, but they had a faint smell of honey.

He returned with two small mice in his hand, "Both of these are missing bones in one of their paws. Let's see if they will drink it without coercion." He set each of them down and poured just a little of each potion into little bowls. Each mouse took their time sniffing around before eventually making their way to the bowls. Neither of them had too much aversion to it as they both took a tentative taste. One of them got preoccupied with his paw shortly after, inspecting it closely. It squeaked a moment and then sat on its hind legs wiggling it's little paws.

"Well it looks like that one is a success! What about you little bugger? How's your paw?" The other mouse looked up at Draco as he spoke, sat back on its hind legs and waggled its boneless paw at him. "Hm, not in pain at least. Maybe this one has a delay." He picked up each mouse one at a time, inspecting them. It was interesting to see him take such care of the little creatures. He had a keen eye and paid attention to the little details, healing really seemed appropriate for him now that I thought about it. I smiled as I watched him attending to the mice.

His own smile grew as he inspected the mouse that hadn't yet grown his bones back, "If you look just here, you can see the bones connecting from his leg to his little paw are returning. This one just takes more time, which might be a good thing, so as to not shock the system and allow the tissue time to make room." As I moved closer, my face level with his hand, I could see what he was talking about. "This is wonderful, Hermione. Thank you for your suggestions. Would you mind if I borrowed the book for a while?"

I handed him the other mouse, "I suppose that would be alright. Just make sure you return it to me." His lips pulled into his signature smirk, "Why, I would never dream of not returning it. Besides, I would like to continue our conversations, and maybe holding onto the book for a bit would just be more of a reason to convince you." He had a playful glint in his eyes that made me laugh at his statement, "Well maybe I shouldn't let you borrow it in the first place, if you intend on holding the poor book hostage." He chuckled as the mice in his hands wiggled about, "I would be eternally grateful, should you let me borrow the book."

"Well, I suppose," I giggled as I headed back to the couch, picking up my, now warm, tea once more. He turned back down the hall to return the mice before coming back to join me on the couch as I set my tea down. This time, he sat so close to me, our legs were touching and from where we touched the warmth was back. Why was it so easy to relax around him? For most people, I avoided their contact. I even avoided Harry's at times. Maybe it's because so far, it's always been my choice. And even though I wasn't offered a direct choice that his leg was against my own, I knew that I could move and he wouldn't follow. If I broke the contact he wouldn't re-initiate. If I decided to leave, he would let me. Right?

Sudden doubt filled my head, remembering all the times that I had thought I could get away from Ron, remembering how hard he pushed for me to stay, how often he was touching me, holding my hand, having a hand on my back, even if I didn't want it. Especially when I didn't want it. Draco seemed to be observing me now. I spoke before I even knew that I had, "What are you thinking about?" He quirked an eyebrow at me, "I was thinking about asking you the same question." Smiles danced across our lips as our eyes met, did I want to tell him? Wouldn't it sound strange? Was this an appropriate time?

I wrung my hands in my lap, "I wanted to say thank you, for giving me the choice." He looked puzzled by my vagueness, and I sighed briefly, "Each time we have spent together lately, you have offered me the choice. To stay or go, to take your arm, to leave it be. It's…difficult to explain. You don't push me into making decisions. If I left right now, you wouldn't demand that I stay. When I decline to take your hand, you let it go without questioning me, or making me feel guilty because you're 'just trying to be nice' or 'help.' So thank you, for giving me the choice." I could feel the heat in my face spreading down my neck, but I kept my eyes on his. I'm not afraid of him. There was only one person left alive that I was afraid of, and he wasn't here.

His eyes filtered through emotions I couldn't place as I spoke and at the end, he nodded, "I never wanted to take away your freedom. I'm sorry that someone saw it fit to make you feel trapped, that's no way for anyone to be." It dawned on me that we had this feeling in common, of not having the option, of not having freedom to choose. His whole life he had probably felt that way, not feeling he could choose, and especially when it came to the war. I felt my eyes grow wide, felt the hot sting of tears starting to form. This wasn't my intention, to cry when we were supposed to be working, to have this sort of realization, to have this sort of conversation.

Draco's hand moved slowly toward my face, to let me know his intentions, and I let him close the distance. No one was allowed to touch my face, not healers, not Harry, just me. And now Draco. His hand cupped my cheek and his thumb brushed away some of my tears. His other hand came to do the same, just as slowly, and I allowed the contact. I could feel the words bubbling in my throat, maybe it was time to tell someone about Ronald, maybe it was time to admit what I had allowed. The restraint I filed, I didn't give them all the details. Who would believe them? I had barely told Harry or Ginny anything. Not even Wopsy, who I spent so much time with, knew very much about the situation. So do I start now?

Instead of saying anything I moved forward, wrapping my arms around Draco, my hands clutching his shirt. His hands moved quickly, one finding its way into my hair, the other stroking my back gently. I breathed in his warmth as I felt the dam crumbling within me. "I'm sorry," I choked out as tears streamed down my face, wetting his shirt. Everything I had held onto was tumbling down.

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I managed to calm my breathing, but I didn't move away. Draco kept his hold around me, stroking my back, "I had this break down. Two years ago, I was still trying to get my schooling in order to become a healer. I didn't have anyone to talk to besides my mother, and I had isolated myself even from her. The Ministry was trying to sort some things out with me about my father's estate, but the people they kept sending were just so…Harry eventually showed up at my door. He didn't ask to come in, or when I would be free. He offered to shake my hand and I declined. He offered me a letter and said when I was ready, just to owl him."

His hand stilled a moment, pulling me just a bit closer before resuming, "It took me a week to open the letter. It took me another week to read it. I finally responded after one more week and he came to the manor. I didn't shake his hand until we were done speaking. And when we were done with official business, I offered him a drink. Everything I had been wanting to say to him, and everything he had wanted to say to me, we talked about. I'd like to say I didn't cry, but we'll just keep that between you and I. Keeping it to yourself doesn't make it go away, it doesn't make it better. But it also takes time. People who had tried to push me about things, I lashed out, or I bottled it up some more, so I won't push you. I never want to take away your choices."

His words filled me, and I knew that they were true. I didn't start this until sixth year, that's when I started hiding away what I wanted to say and what I felt. I didn't want to move away, but I knew I needed to if I was going to talk to him, so I pulled back and his arms fell from around me, his hands coming to hold mine. "I'm not ready to talk about it all. The more recent things, it's been almost a year but they're just as fresh as if it happened yesterday. The war was long and hard, but those memories aren't holding me so tight now it seems. When I am ready to talk about it, if you'd be willing to listen, I'd like to tell you about it." His eyes swirled like pools of mercury as I spoke, "I trust you."

The hum in my chest was back as I said the words, and the pulsing in the air was visibly gold. Gavyn was dancing on the table as we glanced around, excited by the magic in the air. "Do you know what all this is about, Draco?" He shook his head as the gold faded from view and the hum in my chest quieted, "I suppose we have something new to investigate then." Gavyn bounced on the edge of the table and I released Draco's hands to pick Gavyn up and set him on my shoulder, "It's probably time that we get going, it's getting rather late." I pulled my sleeves back down and took a glance at the clock. Draco stood and offered me his hand again, once we were both standing he turned toward the hall, "Let me get your things."

I followed him toward the library and he scooped up my things and flipped my coat around so he was holding open for me. I slid into the sleeves carefully and wrapped my scarf back around my neck, "I hope the potions turn out well. You'll have to let me know how it goes." We shared a smile and he took my hand in his, turning my palm face up, "Thank you for coming over, and for inviting me along earlier. We will have to fly together again sometime." He placed a kiss against my palm and the feeling had a blush spreading across my face again, "I'll see you another time then." And with a quick smile, I was gone through the Floo.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi! Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope you all conitnue to enjoy the story as much as I have been enjoying writing it! Here's an early update since my last one was delayed.**

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Through the Floo, it felt…strange, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. My owls were awake and scanning the room, my wards outside surrounding my house were all in place. I tried to push aside the feeling and made my way through my wards, double checking to make sure I had put them all back up correctly.

Once home and inside, I double checked all my doors and windows before stripping off my outer clothes. I made my way to my room, setting Gavyn down as I went. I couldn't believe that I had just cried in front of someone, and in front of Draco of all people. Shaking my head, I started the bath and stripped off the rest of my clothes, tossing them in the hamper. As I stepped into the hot water, I wished for a moment that I had kept my mouth shut, that I hadn't said any of those things to him. But it was only for a moment, my doubts weren't dominating me anymore. I didn't have any reason to doubt myself. Ron put that idea in my head, because he was tired of me being right, of contradicting him. "Maybe you just aren't remembering it right, or maybe you aren't as smart as you think you are," I mumbled to myself. If someone wasn't as smart as they thought they were, it was Ronald.

I had allowed far too much and I was done, I wanted to be in control. I would be in control, I didn't want to be afraid of him anymore. If I could rally my bravery against him, then maybe I could live a normal life again. I had to focus on the small victories.

My trips outside my home had been better, that was a victory. Ollivander's for tea. Harry and Ginny. Flying, flying was a pretty big victory now that I thought about it. All the comfortable time spent with Draco. Letting him touch my face, that was pretty big. I knew a blush was spreading across my face, Ron was the last person outside of myself to touch my face in anyway.

As I scrubbed my body, I didn't linger on my scar. I barely paid it any mind at all, in fact I almost felt a wave of strength as I washed myself. Some say scars are marks to remind you what you've been through, they can be a source of pain and old memories, but they can also remind you that you made it through. And I made it through.

With a newfound sense of confidence I went to bed and curled up in my covers as Gavyn managed to make his way onto my bed and burrowed himself under one of my extra pillows.

* * *

The snow had become more of a nuisance now that I finally had the desire to go out. When there was a break in the weather, and the snow wasn't so thick, I made my way to Diagon Alley and to some muggle stores picking up items for the library I was creating. Truthfully, I had enough books, they just were contained away in bags and boxes with extension charms. I was mostly picking up paint and deciding upon the bookshelves I might want.

I kept my hood up, trying to keep myself from being recognized in the streets, but when people bumped into me, I didn't flinch. The only thing that bothered me were the flashes of red hair in town. But every time I looked up, it wasn't him.

None of the books I flipped through held any information on the odd light show that I had experienced with Draco, so I chalked it up to my magic for now. It was more volatile with my emotions, so what else could it have been? I tabled that thought for a bit.

Ollivander sent me owls more frequently, along with Harry and Ginny. Wopsy, I realized probably spent as much time at their house as she did at mine. I had no idea how much she loved their children.

I had become more lax with my routine already, but as I grew more confident going out, I stopped taking extra trips around the house. I still checked of course, but I didn't feel the sense of urgency that used to loom over me.

Draco sent me a few owls, and we spoke occasionally through the fire in my living room as well. He had leant me a book so I could learn some of the household magic, such as his way of hiding and bringing forth potion stations and such. And our conversations through the fire were often about his exams as we exchanged study habits and I quizzed him on some necessary knowledge.

Mid-February I received a small leather bound journal by owl. The binding seemed new, and on the inside it read, Property of Hermione Granger. A note was tucked away with a pressed golden gardenia.

_For all those thoughts you want to express._

_Draco_

Heat spread through my face as I smiled. I decided to keep the flower pressed in the journal, along with the note. And that night I began to write, little by little, I relived my dreams and nightmares. I recorded them immediately after I woke so I could read them later, and I felt it helped to do so.

I was calmer in my day to day, able to prevent myself from being overwhelmed by my past experiences. I was happy with my progress, and would often find myself smiling while reading my books with Gavyn or Wopsy curled up with me on the couch.

As the snow began to melt and March neared closer, Draco and I spent more time at his flat going over potions, salves and charms, trying to prepare for his exam. Upon occasion, Wopsy and Gavyn would tag along and we would play a game of muggle chess or work together to solve the Prophet's Runok Ko puzzle of the day as a break from all the studying.

"I think I've got it. With the improved Skele-Gro as my presentation, and with all the help you've given me, I will be top of my class. I'll be certified," the grin on his face was so open it warmed me as he tidied his notes into neat piles. Wopsy had left just a short time before with Gavyn, saying something about preparing for her trip. She would be heading to Ireland for a time to visit an old friend, though she wouldn't tell me who.

Draco took the seat beside me, where Wopsy had been, "Thank you. For helping me with this, and for spending time with me." He took my hand and placed a small kiss upon the back, the now familiar heat spreading through my chest, "You don't have to thank me, you know. You'd do just fine on your own. Though I certainly haven't minded the additional knowledge." I smiled at him and moved back, leaning my back against the arm of the couch, pulling my legs so that I could hug them to me, "When do you take the exam?" He leaned back against the opposite arm, tucking one leg underneath himself, "Tomorrow actually, my exam got moved up. Supposed to have an answer shortly after that."

The smile on his face was pure confidence, he didn't have a doubt that he would succeed. I glanced at the clock and startled, it was already five in the afternoon! I stumbled as I stood, "I'm so sorry, I forgot I'm going to be late to dinner!" I tugged on my shoes, "Ginny will have my head if I am late again." He chuckled as he stood and went to grab my coat, "No worries. Tell her I say hi. If you see Harry, will you remind him to return my book? He'll know the one." I laughed as I rushed toward his library, "Yes, keep studying. Let me know as soon as you get the results!" I was looking around for the Floo powder but couldn't seem to remember where it was. I turned around in a hurry and almost knocked a bowl out of Draco's hand. His free hand grasped my arm like a reflex, steadying me, "I forgot to put it back after I refilled it." His hand slowly started to unwrap from my arm, lingering for a moment on my elbow before letting go. He lowered the bowl to put it on the small table by the Floo with a guarded smile, "I'll let you know as soon as I find out."

My heart pounded when I realized how close we were, barely an inch separating us. As he began to take a step back, I closed the distance, giving him a quick hug. Before he could finish wrapping his arms around me, I took a step back toward the Floo and picked up the powder. He waved at me with a smile as I disappeared into the flames.

* * *

As I exited Ginny's Floo I heard a voice that sent a shiver down my spine as it echoed from another room. I stood frozen, unable to decide what I should do. "Ronald, you can't just barge in here whenever you want! I had just put James down for a nap, and here you are, making all this noise," Ginny's annoyance was plain to hear as James' crying began to lessen.

"I wouldn't have to 'barge' in if you ever invited me over anymore! I just wanted to see how my family was doing, is that so wrong Gin? Am I not allowed anymore!" His voice shook and reverberated through my head.

"You were just here Ron! Yesterday! We had a lovely dinner, but I have plans tonight. And I swear if you say one more thing about Mum watching the children, I will wring your neck."

The Floo came to life as I stood there and Molly Weasley exited, "Oh Hermione dear! It's just lovely to see you!" She embraced me in a big hug as I stood, unable to hear anything anymore, nothing but the sound of my heart as it beat ferociously in my chest. I could handle this, I could deal with this.

I put on a smile and brought my arms around her, I did miss her, even if she was a little overbearing at times. After a moment I relaxed in her arms, "I've missed you Mrs. Weasley." She pulled back enough to look me in the face with a loving, but stern look, "Hermione, now. You've been family since you were in school, don't start with that formalness now. Mum, or even Molly is better than that." I sighed, she was probably right, I hadn't called her Mrs. Weasley in years. "Alright, Molly." With a warm smile and a gentle squeeze, she released me, "Now, let's go see what all the fuss is about, hm?"

I nodded and with a hardened smile on my face, I led the way to where Ginny and Ron had been arguing. "Hermione! Right on time! Mum, thank you so much for watching the kids tonight, you know how hard it is to get away from the boys." She rushed over to us with a now mostly peaceful James in her arms. Teddy bounded over to us and I scooped him up, pulling him against me in a gentle hug as he giggled. Ron looked alienated across the room from us. I could read the anger playing across his face as he worked to settle himself, "Mum, you don't have to watch them every time. You know I'd be happy to. Plus you don't want Ginny here taking advantage of you!"

Molly shook her head at him as she took James from Ginny, "Now Ron, you know very well how I stand on the subject. And considering I haven't seen the boys since Christmas, I'd say she isn't taking advantage of me. In fact, I asked her just last week when I'd get to see the little ones again." She squared her jaw as she looked at him, sulking at her words. "I'd say it's time you get on home now Ron. Will we be seeing you tomorrow for dinner?" I tried to avoid his gaze, but I found myself locking eyes with him as his disgust played in them. "Yes, I think you will be seeing me." If it was possible, I hardened my gaze, trying to steel myself against him. I didn't want him to see any trace of fear as I stood with Ginny and Molly. They made it easier to keep my control.

Molly smiled, "Alright then, you go on home now, I have a couple things I need to check here with the girls. I'll make sure to have that pie." He skulked past us, brushing his arm against mine in what could have looked like a flirtatious action from afar, but the eyes that held mine as he did so held darkness within. I knew he could feel the pull from the restraint I'd filed, and I knew it wouldn't ever be enough.

When I finally heard the Floo roar in the other room, I relaxed, setting Teddy down, he hugged one of Molly's legs, his hair turning a fading red to match her own, "Nan!" Molly pat his head and turned to us, "Don't you two worry. I have everything under control here. I'll take the boys on home and keep them for the night so Arthur can see them too. You know how he is when he's working, but Teddy can always get him away." She gave us a wink, "Thanks again Mum. I don't know what his problem is lately. I spend all my time here with the boys and I finally get a girls night and he's here to ruin it. Harry certainly wasn't complaining."

They went on for a bit, discussing Ron and Harry and the children. I steadied my breathing, built my confidence back up, and relaxed knowing that Molly still loved me. Molly gave me a pat on the shoulder, "You have fun now. Don't forget to stop on by at some point. We missed you for Christmas, but I understand deary. Send me an owl sometime." I smiled at her as Ginny took my arm, "Thanks Molly."

Instead of leaving through the Floo, we walked outside, past her own wards, and apparated.

She pulled me along with her from the alley to a small muggle café, "I'm sorry about all that at the house. I just do NOT know what's gotten into him. For the last month he has been coming over far more often, bothering Harry and the boys." We sat at a table inside, away from most of the other guests. I shrugged as I picked up my menu, trying to seem nonchalant so she might drop the subject.

I could feel her eyes on me as I scanned the item in my hands. She sighed and pushed the menu down, "You'll want the chicken in the left corner. I promise, it's the best." She hadn't even picked up her own, "Let's talk about something else. How about I tell you about Teddy's newest thing." We placed our order with the waitress and she began to tell me all about how Teddy had discovered he could do far more than just change his hair. "I came into the room and there on the couch was a relative to Draco, I would have sworn! But Teddy's voice came from the face, asking me when Coco was coming to visit again. He didn't quite get the face to match, but he certainly could've been Draco's little brother." We laughed and giggled as she told me more about how Teddy had started shifting minor facial features to match Harry and herself when he was bored.

"I can't wait to tell Draco, or better yet, maybe next time we're over you should suggest to Teddy that he show him," we laughed at my suggestion. The food arrived as we recovered from our humor and she was certainly right, the chicken was heavenly. She took a few bites and a swig from her drink before setting her fork down and leaning just a tad across the table, "So, what's this going on with you and Malfoy?"

I choked for a moment on my drink, "I'm not sure what you mean? I've been helping him study for his exam. I think we've become a sort of friends maybe." Thinking about the time we had been spending together, I suppose I could see where the question was coming from. That guarded smile he gave me today, the hugs we shared, made me ponder a little more. And then there was the humming in my chest, and that light. I'd forgotten about that. "Hermione, I saw the way he looked at you when you were flying. And you always have a story to share about something he said or you two did. What do you think of him?"

I chewed on my lip for a moment in thought, "What is there to think about? I never thought I'd say this, but he's kind. Not in an overwhelming way, like Neville can be. He's subtle in many ways, but he's kind nonetheless. And he's going to be a Healer, I just know he'll pass his exam. Did you know, after he did his presentation on his improved versions of Skele-Gro, the Ministry took the potion in for further testing? They're only one step away from approving it." I could feel the excitement as I spoke, the warmth bubbling in my chest, "And that will put him far above his peers once the exam is over. St Mungo's would be more than happy to have him I'd imagine."

Ginny just grinned at me from across the table, taking another bite of her own chicken, "Alright. But think about it. Maybe you'll find you quite like the way he smiles at you." My face was turning red at her suggestion, I already liked the way he smiled at me. Her eyes twinkled with delight and a sense of knowing. "Don't you go meddling in my life now, I'd like to make my own choices," I narrowed my eyes at her as I took a drink. "Oh I fully expect that you will. I'm just asking you to open your eyes a bit further. And for Merlin's sake, keep me in the loop! Godric knows I could use something else to think about than the Harpies. I mean I don't even know where you live! I'd like to visit you sometime if I could, you know."

I took another bite as I contemplated, only Wopsy knew where I lived. There was a reason I didn't let people in, didn't invite over my friends, didn't allow company. The wards and illusions covering my house were numerous and strong. It would take a lot for someone to get through them. But I didn't even want someone to have the chance, so no one was allowed to know. But this was Ginny, and it _had_ been awhile.

I nodded as I came to a decision, "You can come to visit Ginny." I was placing a lot of trust in her, giving her the option, and this would be a victory for me. "Why don't you come back with me tonight? I have a pie waiting at home. I'll give you a tour and show you what I've started in my new library." I was rambling, nervous and excited to show her. She smiled at me all the while, "I'd love that."

We finished our food and soon we were out the door, Ginny giggling as she took my arm. We disapparated in the alley we arrived in and arrived just outside my wards, near my Floo. Did I forget to put my illusion up? I walked into the building containing my Floo and showed her where my birds were. As I bent to get a snack for them, I noticed a foot print in the soot, much larger than my own. I stiffened and Ginny looked at me with confusion, "Someone's been here."

My voice was a whisper as I examined my wards, our wands drawn. She kept close to my side as we entered through, some of my wards had been broken. There were no footprints in the little snow left, and the ground was just firm enough there were none there either.

We approached my home and I examined the door and windows in front before leading her around to the back. They appeared to be locked, but with an extra dose of caution I took her in through the back. The kitchen looked the same, nothing out of place. The only noise to be found was our breathing and the beating of my heart. She followed close to me as I made my way around the house, through each room, just like my routine had been. We stopped at my soon to be library, books had been moved about, carefully placed back on shelves, but not in the correct order. I nodded wordlessly communicating with Ginny, someone had been here. We made our way at last to my bedroom. The sheets were no longer neatly tucked, but instead it looked as though someone had just gotten out of them. I moved slowly along the edge, opening my closet, moving to the bathroom to inspect it.

I opened drawers and rifled through any that were no longer neat and precise. Two things were missing, and one thing was new. My wedding band and journal had been taken, a note was left in their place.

_Never be free. You know where you belong._

It was his handwriting, that messy scrawl across the parchment. "How had he known! How did he find me! I did all of this, kept all of this from everyone, and he found me! He found me, Ginny, he found me," I couldn't stop the emotions at first, they swarmed me as tears fell from my eyes. He had violated me all over again. I wouldn't be free, he'd come for me, take me away. He'd take away my freedom again, my choices. I spent so much time, keeping to myself, hiding away just so he couldn't find me. How, how?!

Ginny was talking to me but I couldn't hear her past my own thoughts. "The Floo," I whispered. "The FLOO!" I took off at a run, bounding through my house, out the door and past the trees. I could barely hear Ginny behind me, asking me to slow down, asking me to wait. We spent an hour investigating my Floo, we spent another hour investigating her own. That's where I found it, "It's a tracking spell. He put a tracking spell on your Floo Ginny! He must have!"

She summoned her patronus at once and sent it away before leading me from the Floo and into the kitchen. I felt violated in the worst possible way, and now, so did Ginny. We sat in uncomfortable silence as we both fumed and despaired. I knew what she wanted to say, I knew what I wanted to say, but neither of us spoke.

Harry and two Aurors arrived shortly, one stayed to investigate the Floo while the others spoke with us. "I understand you have a restraint against Ronald Weasley Ms. Granger. If you'd mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions concerning that and your Floo," the woman looked a bit familiar as she lead me to the living room, but I couldn't place her until she said her name.

"I'm Sue Li, part of the Investigative Team for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. I was informed that you had filed a restraint against Mr. Weasley. As he seems to have broken into your home, I need to know the details of the restraint. My partner in the other room has suggested the tracking spell was originally placed here at Mrs. Potter's Floo and has been in place for some time now. If you would inform him of any other locations you might have been through that Floo, we can see how well the spell was in place."

I nodded at Sue, she was a Ravenclaw, the same year as us, "Of course, anything to help the investigation. I filed a restraint against Ronald so he would be required to keep further distance from me, I often would find myself in too close of quarters to him when I would go out. He put his hands on me in unpleasant matters; he gripped me too tight, shoved me, and has hit me. None of which he did in the public eye." My voice tightened as I saw a slight frown on her face. I wasn't sure if she was disappointed in me, or in Ron. But suddenly I knew a way I could make her believe me, if there was any doubt in her mind, "If I recall correctly, you are skilled in Legilimency. If it would be assistance to the case, I would allow you of my own free will to enter my mind and view a couple memories." I steadied my emotions, boxing them away, hiding them in the restricted section of my library.

She straightened where she sat, "That would be most helpful. You are aware that the memories will be used should this come to trial, and be aware that I will not be the only one to view these, once you have allowed me to watch them?" I nodded, standard procedure. She could watch my memories, then they would likely be taken from her and viewed in a pensieve as evidence. "I understand," I waited as she drew her wand, and then she was there.

It was shortly after the wedding, we hadn't completed the bonding ceremony since it was so soon after the war. _Ron had me shoved against the wall, we were yelling, he was angry that I hadn't gotten the pieces together in time. He hit me, for the first time, that night. The shock was clear on my face._

I skipped ahead, sifting through my memories was a lot like flipping pages in a book, fitting I suppose. I stopped on one of us, just after the divorce,_ I was shaking as I stood across from him, he was grinning, "This doesn't mean shite. I'll find you, I'll always find you." The doors opened then, and Aurors were shuffling us out in separate directions._

Flipping again, I felt a tear run down my face. _I was walking with my hood up, trying to keep my head down, my eyes darting carefully from side to side. A figure stepped out from a building and stopped in front of me. I tried to move around but Ron was there, his arms out wide, stopping me from my path, "Oh come now, I just want to talk." I tried to escape, but I ended up trapping myself in a dead end alleyway. Ron pinned me to the wall, his hand at my throat, "Aw don't struggle now. You know I don't like it when we fight." A dark glimmer shone in his eyes, I tried to scream. His hand only tightened and he gave me a quick slap to the face, "I may not know where you are hiding yet, but remember, I am always watching."_

Flipped once more to earlier in the night, as the conversation about him coming for dinner at Molly's played out, his eyes locking with mine, his brush against my arm.

I took a shaky breath as Sue pulled from my mind, "I'm sorry you had to go through that Ms. Granger." I wiped the wet from my face, I couldn't tell if she was apologizing for having to relive it, or if she was apologizing for it happening in the first place. "Will that help you with the investigation?" She nodded, "Now if you would mind speaking with Savage in the next room, I need to speak with Mrs. Potter."

I stood and she watched me as I went.

Savage was a nimble looking man, with some visible scars around the edges of his face, his hand was rough as he shook mine, "Could you tell me around how often you have visited through this Floo ma'am? And where you have been to and from through it?" He held a notepad in his hand and waited expectantly as I gave him and estimation of how often I visited, "I've only been here to and from my own Floo and Mr. Draco Malfoy's." His hand twitched, but his face remained neutral. "Thank you ma'am. I'll need to pay a visit to Mr. Malfoy now if you please." He took a step back and through the Floo as Harry came into the room. "Hermione," he took my arm in his and escorted me back to the living room, I sat and he handed me a mug of coffee, "Seems more fitting at the moment than tea."

Ginny and I sat across from each other, now in a more comfortable silence. We nodded to each other and shook our heads. Sue and Harry were speaking in hushed tones nearby when the Floo roared to life again. Savage came walking in with Draco at his side, he looked thoroughly peeved.

His mouth opened to speak before he paused, his face softened a smidge and he sighed. He went to the kitchen and returned with his own mug of coffee, "So how do we proceed from here?" He looked around the room, his eyes lingering on me, but ending on Harry.

"Well, our Floo here will be sealed, but we will remain here. Hermione, I don't recommend you go home for a bit. They need to do some more looking around at your place, and they want to station someone there to watch. Savage believes, if you put your wards back up and close off your Floo, that maybe he will think you're hiding inside. Because of that, I don't want you to go home. Draco, I don't believe he will try to enter your flat, but we think it's best to close your Floo for the time being."

Harry started to open his mouth but I cut him off, "I'm not staying here." He frowned but nodded. "I can understand that. But we will need to find you somewhere to stay. I can go back with you to gather some of your things, and then we can figure out a place for you."

I took a few long, deep breaths, "Would it be possible for just Ginny to accompany me?" I gave her a pleading look across from me but Sue spoke up, "You should have an Auror accompany you, I will go with you as they start a plan." I nodded at her with a relief, enough men had been in my space today.

At home, I retrieved my bag. Inside, there were already clothes packed away for a week, just in case I ever had to run. I added a few extra clothes, a set of pajamas and the like, just so Sue didn't wonder at my lack of packing. I took a few books and some toiletries, putting them into the bag before calling for Wopsy. She appeared with a pop and a giggle, Gavyn on her shoulder. At the company in the room her eyes widened, "'Mione did not tell Wopsy there would be guests!" She paused in her steps on her way to me and took a sniff, "Something is wrong. What is wrong Mione?"

She carefully placed her hand in mine and Gavyn found his way up my arm and onto my shoulder, "I'll be staying somewhere else for a bit. My Floo was compromised." She narrowed her eyes at me, "Wopsy will find out, just let Wopsy look."

Sue spoke up at that point, "If you would like to help in the investigation, you may speak with myself, Savage or Mr. Potter. But we would ask you not return to this location until the investigation in concluded. If you'd please, Wopsy." Wopsy looked Sue over and nodded, "Wopsy will come."

Soon we all returned Harry's, "Why don't you let her decide what's to happen to her?" Draco's voice sounded from the other room. Savage and Harry seemed to be disagreeing with him. As I entered the room, Ginny sighed and pulled me to sit by her on the couch. I scooted away to tuck my knees against my chest, I was quite done with touching for the day.

It was only when Sue went to stand by the men in the corner that they turned around, Harry nudging the older man. With a huff, Savage crossed his arms, "I want to send you out of country until we are finished. Potter wants you to stay at a nearby safe house. Mr. Malfoy has offered you a choice of staying at his home in the mountains. Choose."

His voice was gruff, clearly unhappy with not making a decision. In his line of work, I could understand his annoyance, but I was grateful that Draco had suggested that I choose.

I looked between the people around me, trying to decide where I would be more comfortable. Truly I didn't want to leave the country, but I also didn't want to be too close. I closed my eyes against the emotions swelling within me, I didn't want to be afraid anymore. I was trying so hard.

I opened my eyes, my voice calm and quiet, "I'd like to stay in the mountains." Everyone nodded at me, Ginny giving me a long look as she did so. Savage spoke again, "Alright. But everyone is to stay here tonight while I set up precautions at the location, if you would accompany me, Mr. Malfoy."

And with that Ginny and I began to gather blankets and pillows to set up the spare bedrooms.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi everyone! I hope with each new chapter some of your questions are being answered, I like seeing the questions in your reviews because it helps me to know what needs further explanation. All questions should hopefully be revealed by the end of the story. Let me know your thoughts and thanks so much for reading!**

* * *

I was thankful that I hadn't needed to speak aloud the acts that Ron had put me through. I was thankful for being in the wizarding world. I hadn't told Ginny yet. Or Harry. Not really. The first time I tried, I was still doubting that Ron had meant it, so I didn't tell them about the physical acts, only some of the words. And even then I shielded some of that because he was our friend, her brother, my husband. I was so shocked that I had been such a fool.

Nerves wracked my body as I lay in one of the spare beds at the Potter house. Tossing and turning, I couldn't get comfortable with how uneven my breath was. I got out of bed to pace the room. _Was I making the right decision? Should I stay here with Harry and Ginny? No that would definitely not be good for any of us, much as they were my friends, Harry would fret over everything more than I could allow. And Ginny would be busy with the kids, Wopsy would be going out of town soon and had decided to take Gavyn with her. I didn't want to stay at a safe house, those could be discovered with enough connections in the ministry, no matter what anyone thought. And Ron could find a way. I didn't want to leave the country, that would put me so far out of my element, I would never get any rest. But should I have accepted Draco's invitation? Would he be there too? Would there be an Auror outside stationed? What were the precautions Savage was setting up? I should just have Sue show Harry the memories, that way I didn't have to tell him myself. But that would be cowardly, but so was keeping this all inside._

My brain just wouldn't stop rushing, thoughts and scenarios playing out in my head. I wanted to scream at Ron's invasiveness. I had bought that house while we had been together, in secret. It was my escape toward the end. And when we divorced, I knew I wouldn't be keeping the house we had lived in together, only his name was on the property deed. I barely wanted to be there while were together anyway, as beautiful as it had been. I had to remove the blood stains often enough from the rugs and carpeting there. Had to repair the walls from the holes his fists had made. Had to endure and watch as he brought other women to the house, giggling with him on our furniture, shamelessly opening themselves to him. And he pretended, would flash his ring at them, reminding them he was married. Even as his hands would slip just enough underneath their clothes to let them know he was interested, but not enough to make them bold enough to act. At least not in front of me.

He made sure to let me know when I wasn't wanted. And I knew what happened those nights I left him with those women. On our furniture, in our bed. I cried over him often enough, missing the sweet boy who had blushed when I caught him looking at me, missing the boy who had defended me, the boy who loved me. Our relationship strained more and more until we went on the run. I thought after the war, we might go back to being sweet as we healed, but that wasn't the case. I threw myself into my schooling after the war, then into my work as a Professor at Hogwarts. But Ron didn't care, he was famous now. Our wedding had made the headlines of all the papers, as had Harry and Ginny's. The picture from that paper, the tears in my eyes had been presumed tears of joy by the article, but they were from an argument we had just before.

I sunk to my knees in front of a window, staring out at the dark clouds rolling across the sky, hiding the moon's light. I brought a hand to my face, discovering the tears that flowed from my eyes, I didn't need this. The years of hoping and longing, wanting the tender love that he had promised me, all for nothing. All for him to berate me, and now to violate me in new ways. I was healing and there he was ripping open my stitches, tearing open old wounds. I whispered a silencing charm on myself.

I screamed with everything I had, with all the force I could muster. The pain in my throat and the air rushing from me helping to release the emotions building. I was angry, angry for having ever believed Ronald. He had been changing for years, and maybe the Horcrux was to blame for the last trig to snap, but looking back, some of it was just him. Twisted by finally feeling seen, finally feeling respected. It created this inflated ego around him, but I didn't want to believe it, didn't want to see it.

I crushed my arms around myself, wanting nothing more than to explode with rage. Wordlessly I removed the silencing spell and could hear crackling around me. My magic had flared around me with my rage. Counting, I began to calm the storm brewing, patting my hair to dampen the sparks. He couldn't keep controlling me. I couldn't keep reacting to him. I wouldn't. I refused.

With a huff I left the room to head to the bathroom, hoping a shower might help ease the storm. I slammed into something hard in the darkness. _Petrificus Totalas_, the words thought before I could stop them. As I looked I saw a disgruntled looking Savage and immediately removed the spell, Draco was just behind him with a stoic face. I could feel the bubbling of my magic under my skin, "I'm so sorry Savage. I wasn't aware anyone was awake." I tried to help him up from where he had fallen, but he just grunted as he stood, "It's quite alright. I hope you always have such quick reflexes, that will make our job easier. Everything is set, I'll take you to the location tomorrow. Get some sleep." He brushed past me with a nod to a nearby room.

"I suppose I should've guessed you could do wordless magic. But do you even have your wand?" Draco looked at me, and I realized I had just given away one of my greatest surprises. I was standing in little more than an oversized t-shirt, my magic still crackling, it was rather obvious I didn't have my wand on me. "I'm glad you got him and not me," Draco gave me a small smile. "We made sure to set up a room for you. Plum is a house elf, she's lived there for years, but she won't bother you if you don't want. She basically runs the property, I assure you she's a free elf. She didn't want to leave when I freed her, so I told her she could remain if she let me pay her."

I listened as he spoke, trying to will my magic to calm, but if anything it seemed to increase the longer I stood there. Could he not hear it? Not see it? He paused with a tilt of his head, "Are you alright?"

I met his eyes then, as he brought his wand up, "Lumos." My eyes shut against the brightness, "I'm fine. I'll be fine. I was just heading to the loo before I ran into you all. Shouldn't you be going to bed? You have an exam today, good night Draco." I stepped around him quickly but he caught my hand gently as I passed, "Hermione." We stood, staring at each other. He could see the tears now drying on my face, but I didn't need to talk about it, didn't want to talk about it, "Thank you for letting me stay at your house. I appreciate your generosity. Truly though, you need to get some rest before your exam." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and released it, "Alright. Just so you know, I will be there later in the week. I hope you get some sleep Hermione."

He stayed there in the hall until I was at the bathroom door. I gave him a small smile and he nodded at me, turning to head to the room Savage had disappeared into. Once the water was on, I stripped and stepped into the stream. The water did little to dampen my magic, not that I truly expected it to. But it did ease the nerves, the cool water soothing away my emotions, calming me until my magic hissed a slow goodbye to the air.

* * *

With as little sleep as I managed to get, I desperately needed coffee. I dressed quickly and made my way to the kitchen, the sky was barely beginning to lighten as the sun began to rise in the distance. No one else seemed to be up yet as I prepared my coffee. I sat, nibbling on a biscuit as I waited for it to brew. I relished the silence of the early morning. Footsteps drew my attention and I patted my wand, tucked neatly at my side. Draco was the first to enter the kitchen, fully dressed and ready to start the day. He looked surprised to see me at the table, "Good morning." With a sniff and a smile, he washed the mugs from the night before, prepping them for the nearly done fresh pot.

"Good morning, how'd you sleep?"

He turned to me, leaning against the counter as he spoke, "I slept alright, wish I had gotten more. I was prepping a few more things for the exam today. What about you?"

"I slept," I said, knowing that was the best I could manage. I lifted my eyes to his, well aware of the bags under my eyes, "I'll get more sleep later. Not used to being away from home anymore." With a shrug I finished of my biscuit.

We stayed in quiet, just watching each other. When the coffee finished, he poured, "Anything with it?"

I shook my head, "Not right now, I'd just like it black please." He handed me a mug and sat next to me, both of us facing the window, watching as the sky lightened more with the rising sun, sipping our coffee in content quiet.

I shifted in my seat as more footsteps could be heard in the house. It seemed the rest of the crew all woke at similar times, Savage and Sue being the only others fully dressed as they made their way toward the coffee. Ginny and Harry yawned in sync with one another as they entered in their pajamas. Mumbled hellos and good mornings were said as everyone gathered at the table. Sue cleared her throat, "Mr. Malfoy I am to escort you to your flat so you may pack, I received word that Mr. Weasley has in fact been spotted at your flat, as I suspected he might. You and Ms. Granger will be staying at the location in the mountains. As it stands, we are listing you in our records as being housed at separate locations nearby. This is to ensure that should Mr. Weasley attempt to gain information on your location, he would be unable to do so unless he were to gain such information from one of the people in this room. I understand you have an exam today, I will be escorting you to that as well."

Ginny gave me a look from over her mug as she sipped her coffee, but didn't say anything as Draco responded, "Understood. I am not quite sure why he is interested in me." I looked up to see Sue looking between us, "I believe it is because Ms. Granger has arrived via Floo from your flat on a number of occasions since the tracking spell had been in place. We are under the impression that the spell was placed here due to the nature of Ms. Grangers relationship with Mr. and Mrs. Potter. If I were looking to track someone I could not find, I would start with that person's closest friends."

I frowned into my mug, "I'm sorry you are involved Draco."

We glanced at each other and he shrugged, "I'm not afraid of the We...of Weasley. He's never been fond of me, and I can't say I've ever been too fond of him either."

Sue gave me a pointed look, "May I speak with you for a moment?" I nodded and followed her from the room. She placed silencing spells around us before speaking, "I sent a notice about the restraining order you had placed on Mr. Weasley, I found it odd that it had such little consequence when you were so near. It appears the order was not listed as severe, it is the restraint they place against the weak willed, or people they do not deem dangerous, just as a nuisance. And with this information, I looked at what was on file as far as your statement. If I add the memories you have given me, it will move his order to a 1st level offender, meaning the restraint will be far more reactive to him being around you."

I cursed myself internally, I should have known. Why would anyone really believe that he could be a danger? We had been friends after, married even. I suppose I should have been more detailed, I suppose I should have just asked him to look into my memories, but at the time it was so painful. I still don't think I could say the words aloud, not just yet. But I could show the memories now. That was a step in the right direction. I sighed, "I suppose I wasn't detailed enough. If you would add the memories you have now, I would prefer the restraint be enforced and that it be upgraded as clearly Mr. Weasley has shown his intent toward me."

She gave me a firm nod, "I just wanted to inform you before I made the call. Safety is my number one concern at the present moment." With that she dispelled the silence and we reentered the kitchen where I took my seat.

Draco looked at the time and stood to stand with Sue, "I suppose I'll be seeing you shortly. Wish me luck on my exam." With some mumbled good lucks, the two left the building to apparate outside the wards. Savage finished the last of his coffee and stood with a grunt, "Mrs. Potter, you might not need much extra looking out for, but we have an additional Auror that will be stationed nearby, out of sight. Your husband here will fill you in on the further details. Ms. Granger, if you would." He held a hand out to me, but I shook my head. I stood on my own, rinsing my mug and setting it in the sink before giving Harry a very short, light pat on his shoulder, and a quick hug to Ginny. "I'll fire call later," I told them and followed Savage from the room, picking up my bag I had brought down as we left the building.

He extended a hand to me once more, "If you please." I took his hand this time and soon we had apparated to a serene location far away from the city. I released his hand as soon as we landed, looking around. We were next to a lake that seemed to stretch on and on. A small dock was nearby, with a boat tied to the edge. Birds chirped all around us as the sun was now full, illuminating everything it touched. "This way," Savage's voice was gruff as he turned to lead me up a stone pathway. The place was well taken care of, no over grown roots or bushes on the pathway. We waked for a time before we finally came to a halt. He waved his wand and then held out his hand, "I need a drop of your blood for the wards in place. It will allow you to apparate through them, put them up and down, and to see through the illusions. I will give you the list of the protection measures once we are inside." I nodded and placed my hand in his, palm up. With a quick prick, he took a drop of my blood and began waving his wand, muttering under his breath.

With a last flick, the wards became visible to me, the magic almost tangible. I reached out the same hand he pricked and put my hand just barely through. The illusions faded away before my eyes, and instead of a forest, now there was a large cabin with a small funnel of smoke coming from a chimney.

Savage walked through the wards and led me inside, handing me a key. A small house elf was sitting on a shelf in the entry way, dusting the objects on said shelf, "Oh hello." She set her duster down and popped in front of me, "Misters be tellin' me yous be comin'. Welcome to home!" One of her ears was folding in on itself as she extended her hand to me, "Nice to meet you, you must be Plum." I shook her hand with a gentle smile as she grinned up at me, "Oh yes. Plums is very happy to be having guests. Not many guests be comin' here. Lots of space to be. Need Plums, just call." She beamed at me and popped back to the shelf she had been sitting on. Savage huffed and led me around to the kitchen, a bathroom and then up a set of stairs to a bedroom. He went over the wards and measures in pace around the building, and gave me a note with them as well. "I am stationed nearby should you need, send a patronus," he nodded at me and exited the building quickly, leaving me alone.

With a sigh I took in the greys and purples that decorated the room, much like the bathroom at Draco's flat. There were large floor to ceiling windows with drapes to cover them. A door led to a balcony with a pair of comfortable looking chairs outside, facing the trees. Down below I could see a small fire pit with similar chairs around it. Returning inside I opened my bag and began to remove a few sets of clothes to put in the dresser, leaving at least three days' worth of clothes inside just in case.

The dresser was a dark wood, just a hair lighter than the flooring. I put everything neatly in the top drawer and took another glance around. There were two more doors in the room, one of which led to a closet that surprisingly, held what looked to be Draco's clothes. Did he have that many that he needed more than the space in his room? I shook my head and wandered to the next door. Inside was a large bathroom. There was a separate shower from the tub, and the tub was one of those large fancy ones with the jets. It too had floor to ceiling windows next to the bath so if one was in it, they could look out at the trees and wild life if the curtains were open.

With a shake of my head, I drew the curtains closed in both rooms and made my way back to the bed, placing a few silencing charms as I went. After taking in my surroundings once more, I finally allowed all of the emotions in. I had tried, tried _so hard_ to keep my secrets from Ronald, and he managed to find the last of them, ruin it with his touch.

The wall I had built, out of habit, out of spite, came crashing down. It shattered, and with it I screamed through the pain. I longed for my bed, the comfort of my own home, the feeling of my sheets between my fingers. I longed for space, and privacy, and to be secluded. Everything I had been doing to keep myself away had been working. I just had to go and ruin it, this is what my confidence had given me!

I summoned a bucket quickly as the bile rose in my throat. This may not have been the worst thing he had ever done, but it was so very close. The man I had given, no, _devoted_ my life to after the war, the man I once thought I loved, had ruined everything I had done, everything I had worked for.

When we separated, I wanted one thing. One. Single. Thing. For him to leave me be. But he just couldn't do that. He had some obsession, because we were supposed to be a Trio, saviors of the Wizarding World. We were famous, and what a _fitting_ pair we were. The papers plastered our names and faces all over Britain. Witches and Wizards came from all over the world for our first anniversary of the war. Ron kept me close by his side for every picture, making sure we appeared the epitome of a loving couple, that good had come from the pain.

But they didn't know, they didn't see. Glamour charms were my best friend for three years. Three years, I hid the marks he left me. I hid the bags under my eyes. I hid what I had become, pretending to be the perfect wife. I had never thought I would allow myself to stoop so low, to be treated so terribly by such a vile individual. And I did it out of hope for the love I thought we shared.

I thought I had escaped him. I was doing _so well_. I was running errands, I was spending time with friends and family that I had avoided and neglected. I had made _new_ friends and acquaintances.

Would I allow myself to be brought so low? For the moment? Yes. I couldn't cope with everything boiling inside of me, it would tear me apart. My magic was volatile, whipping around my hair as winds from nowhere blew around me. My tears turned into rain in the room and I clutched my sides as I screamed out my rage.

Any damage done to the room I could fix, but the damage I was still holding onto inside, I didn't know when it would heal. If Ronald kept ripping open these stitches, if he kept intruding, I would never heal. If I allowed myself to fear him, to be upset by him, I would lose everything. And this time, there would be no coming back.

I was trapped in my storm of emotions, waves of guilt crashed over me, reminding me that this could have been prevented, if only I hadn't stayed with him, if only I had kept myself shut away. I managed to shake off most of that, 'if only' was a way to dwell on the past, I couldn't change what had happened. The rain subsided with my tears, I couldn't cry anymore. A dry crackling rung in my ears as electricity subsided for fire and I could practically see the embers around my body.

The embers dimmed as I realized, I couldn't stay angry forever. I had to do something. I could no longer sit idly by if Ronald were to be around me. I couldn't shudder if he approached me, I couldn't run if he came at me. I had to stand my ground more firmly, and if he came at me, I would have to react. If he laid a hand on me ever again, I would have to document it, record every indiscretion. If he wanted a fight, he would have it. He won't like it when we have to meet again in court.

I felt so drained from my magical storm, but with a wave of my wand, I put everything upright, vanishing away all remnants of the rain and winds. With that last effort to make the room perfect once more, I lay back on the bed, pulling covers over top of me without fully getting underneath them. I fell asleep surrounded by the smell of fresh rain and new parchment.


	17. Chapter 17

**Warning: From this point on please be warned that there are dark and adult themes, I am not going to put a warning at the start of every chapter.**

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_"Stop touching me! Just let me go," I pleaded with the figure holding my wrists._

_"I thought you were supposed to be tough. What happened to all that bravado? Aren't you happy with how we turned out?" One hand came to hold my face in place, my eyes fixating on the ceiling above his red hair, "Aw don't you love me anymore?" The alcohol on his breath made me want to gag. I stopped resisting in that moment, feeling defeat weigh in my body, making it hard to move as Ron leaned in, kissing me with what could have been sweet, tender kisses. That was the trick, they always started that way, looked that way, even felt that way. But only at first. Liquid leaked from my eyes as I let him kiss me, let him run his hand from my chin down my body and under the shirt I wore. He yanked my bra down forcefully and took hold of my breast in his hand, "You know you like it when I touch you."_

_I wanted to scream at him, but I stayed put. In those instances I forgot about my magic, he usually placed a dampening spell on me to lessen the force what I was capable of. Sometimes full body binds would be placed on me so I couldn't fight back, like a waking nightmare, able to see, hear, and feel everything, but unable to make a sound, unable to hide, powerless._

_I hissed in pain as he pinched one of my nipples between his fingers, "You'll learn to enjoy it. Wouldn't want me to grow bored of you." He released my wrists and I left my hands together, knowing if I moved them, it would only be worse. His now free hand slowly dragged across my body and I shivered, but not out of lust, not out of love or excitement. I shivered with disgust and fear at his movements, his hand tugging on my bottoms. "Don't worry darling, I'll take care of you. Always, I will."_

I woke with a start, tasting blood from where I had bit my tongue and dashing angry tears from my eyes at one of many memories. I couldn't be this way, I needed to get a grip on myself.

I shuffled the covers and didn't hear a sound, vaguely remembering the storm I put the room through. I pulled my wand up and dispelled the magic, noise gracing my ears for the first time in what was probably hours. "Lumos," I whispered as I stood to check the room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary even as I drew the curtains. It was dark now, I had slept most of the day away with my outburst. I shook my head at myself and lit up the room itself, putting my wand away with a wordless _Nox_.

I could hear what sounded like frogs calling to each other in the dark and the occasional hoot from an owl as I stood at the windows. What I didn't hear, was the door opening. A knock at the door had me spinning around, wand drawn.

Draco stood with his hands up and caution on his face, "I was just checking on you. Plum said she hadn't seen or heard from you since you got here. She was worried about you, wanted to know if you were hungry." His hands lowered as I put my wand away, tucking it in a pocket, "I was asleep I think, for most of the day." The words hung there as a curious air took hold of the room, not unpleasant, but neither was it particularly inviting.

"Well, we're having roast if you'd like to join us," he took a hesitant step into the room, holding out one hand in an inviting manner. I stared at that hand for the longest time before nodding, "I should probably freshen up first." I barely saw him nod as he took a step back, "I'll see you downstairs."

I took a steadying breath and counted as I made my way to the bathroom. It was probably best, I definitely needed to brush my hair and a good face scrub was in order. Once that was taken care of, and I had counted enough that my heart beat slowed, I found my way down to the kitchen, and then into a rather quaint dining area. It wasn't small, but it felt cozy. I had expected a full formal dining area, but this was much better. Plum was standing next to a chair and pulling it out for me as I walked in, "Oh miss, Plums is happy to sees you." She took up a seat across from me as I sat, "Roasts is favorite here."

And I had to admit, it did smell delicious. I savored the food as we ate in quiet. I barely looked up from my plate except to tell Plum thank you, and to tell her about how great it was. She puffed with a little pride even as her cheeks darkened, telling me about some of her tricks to making it come out the way it had. When I couldn't eat anymore, and the other two had finished, Plum stood snapped, breaking what silence we'd had by getting rid of the dishes and excess food, "Not to be worrying. If-in yous hungry later, foods will be available." Plum gave me a big smile before hopping from her chair and heading to the kitchen.

I stayed seated, not knowing if I should talk, if I wanted to talk, but also not knowing how to leave the room politely. Draco stood first, "I'm going to gather a few more things, if you'd like I'll show you to the little library here so you won't be too bored." He waited, ever so patiently as I took a moment before responding, "Thank you, I'd like that."

I stood quickly enough, that if he had held his hand out, I missed it. He had to have sensed my unease, because he didn't offer me his arm, just nodded and led the way toward the living space and down a short hall. He opened the door and then entered first, lighting the room as he went, "I'll keep this room lit from now on, so you can always find it." I could feel my shoulders relaxing more as I stood in the doorway, taking in the scene before me. It was roughly the same size as the one at his flat, but with floor to ceiling bookshelves, with a rolling ladder on each wall and comfortable looking chairs and cushions in the room. Draco stood in the middle of it all, looking just enough proud that I smiled halfheartedly.

He smiled wide but his face was guarded, "If you need anything, you can call for Plum. I'll be around too if you get bored or need anything else." I stepped into the room and to the side of the doorway as he took a step toward me, "The bathroom on this floor is just across the hall from here," he paused a few feet from me, "Good night Hermione." And with that he was out the door. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I stood in the library. I picked up a book at random and sat myself in one of the oversized chairs.

My emotions were still running high, and at the same time I felt dampened from my earlier experience. I leaned back in the chair and picked up the pillow to hold it in my arms, running my fingertips over the soft fabric. I curled around it, burying my nose in the pillow and took a deep breath. It smelled like Draco, and it brought a sense of comfort to me. I had probably been rather rude, adjusting to new places was somewhat difficult for me. I looked up, inspecting the ceiling now and it dawned on me, I hadn't asked him about his exam!

I got up quickly and started through the house, peeking in open doorways as I went. I found him sitting at a desk, facing a lit fireplace. I knocked quietly on the door and he turned in his chair to meet my eyes. "Yes?" Even his voice was cautious as he looked at me standing in the doorway.

I entered the room slowly, "Is it alright if I sit with you?" He couldn't mask the surprise on his face, and the caution in his features softened. I gave him a small smile when he nodded and moved a nearby chair to sit at the edge of the desk. It wasn't as comfortable as the ones in the library, but I pulled up my legs and made it work. "I completely forgot to ask how your exam went. How do you feel? Did it go well?"

He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, leaning back in the chair, "If what I feel is right, I did fairly well yes. I'm concerned, but I am trying not to doubt myself over the answers." He went on to explain a couple questions he was still mulling over, wondering if his proposed method was truly the best option in the situation. I sat in awe as he explained the differences of why he felt a Healer should attempt to slow the bleeding before cleansing the wound from a Jarvey due to their sharp teeth that can sometimes puncture veins and arteries. "There's a new breed of them that seem to have some sort of venom, if the heart continues to pound, it will carry the venom faster through the body, making it much more difficult to fully heal. There are still studies being done to determine the origin, but Healers need to think of every possibility if they do not have all of the information when they start their process."

We stayed like that, falling into easy conversation, discussing the possible outcome for each answer and how it could affect his score. Any tension had faded, neither of us guarded anymore. Both of us began to yawn before we had even noticed the time, "Don't you know that's contagious?" He was covering his yawn as I felt one coming on.

He chuckled, "I do not believe that is accurate. However, seeing as we have just both yawned, I will admit the idea is a possibility." He looked up at the clock hanging above the fireplace, "It is quite late. Maybe it's time for bed. I am hoping to receive my results sooner rather than later. I hate playing the waiting game."

He stretched as he stood, his shirt coming up to show me the white of his skin, contrasting with his dark shirt. I felt the heat in my face as I looked away, hearing him push in his chair. "I'd be happy to walk you to your room before we part for the night," one of his hands was extended toward me to help me stand. When my fingertips met his, it felt like a small fire had entered my skin, with widened eyes we looked at each other. I fully took his hand and stood, the warmth spreading from our touch. Releasing his hand did nothing to dampen the warmth that I now felt throughout my body. "Well I suppose we will need to get some rest so we can research this more tomorrow. Along with the golden light, I had forgotten because of my exam, but now I can focus."

I nodded at him and held my own hand out as a test, when he touched me this time, the residing warmth didn't flare or lessen, it simply remained the same. With a shrug we let go and we walked together, waving goodnight to Plum who had taken up a seat in the kitchen with a book. Upstairs he motioned to a door across the hall, "I'm right here if you need, though I will try to give you space since you are not accustomed to living with others." I nodded at that but as I thought about it, I suppose I was. Wopsy stayed with me more often than not, and I had Gavyn as well. I hoped they were doing alright, Wopsy had taken him with her to care for him while the investigation took place.

"Thanks Draco, I really appreciate you letting me stay here. I hope I'm not putting you out."

At my words he gave a sort of lopsided grin, "If I was bothered by letting you stay here, I wouldn't have offered it in the first place. I know it's unfamiliar, but I hope you like it here." I returned his smile and stood rather awkwardly, I was unsure of how to bid him goodnight.

With a shrug I gave him a wave, "Goodnight Draco. See you in the morning." He nodded and bid me goodnight as I turned and shut the door softly behind me.

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**Sorry this chapter is a little short! I plan to get the next chapter up next weekend if I don't have it done tomorrow. Thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Alright folks! I know it's way overdue! I had some personal stuff I was dealing with, and writing became way more difficult than it should have been, but at last! Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy and thank you so much for being patient with me.**

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A couple days passed and I had settled into an easy rhythm. It wasn't the same as my old ritual of checking doors and windows. I had grown used to the sounds the house made, could distinguish the different footsteps of Draco and Savage when he occasionally came inside. I let my magic expand around me, something about being here made me feel more in tune with it and I figured that would be something to ask Draco about at some point. We had only barely started to look into the light, but thus far, it hadn't happened again and the research I had started, hadn't been very fruitful since we barely knew where to start.

I had spoken with some of the Aurors and of course Harry and Ginny through the fire about the investigation into Ronald. With a sigh, I had given my formal permission for Harry to view the memories Sue had added to my file in my restraint. He hadn't yet gotten back to me, and honestly, I was dreading that conversation. But it needed to be had, especially since he and Ginny had been directly affected.

Each night I went to bed, surrounded still by the smell of rain, even though I hadn't yet had another outburst (not that I hadn't been close) and each night it was easier to fall asleep.

I woke slowly, listening to the sounds of birds outside the window. I heard a nearby door open and shut in the house, but I didn't jump from where I was, I didn't tighten my hold on my wand, because I recognized those footsteps. Draco, as it turned out, seemed to be an early riser. I rolled over to my back, staring at the ceiling of the room. It was so comfortable, I just didn't want to get up.

I realized, if I didn't want to, I probably didn't have to. But that wouldn't do. I needed to get up, I needed to be active, to do things, and research that golden light, and probably practice with my magic more. With a sigh I pushed myself up and made my way to the shower.

As I stood in the shower, I let my head hang, feeling the spray coast along my neck and shoulders, massaging away the stiffness. I watched the water swirl around the drain, it was mesmerizing. I closed my eyes as I felt a memory come on, trying to blink away the sight. Blood that wasn't there, tinted the water pink. I could feel hands on me, feel the sharp pain from his fingernails digging into me. But with a shake of my head, the vision cleared, the feeling faded. I could control it more now than ever before it seemed. I had let go of my fear, or at least I was in the process of letting it go.

I dried quickly and slid into a pair of jeans and an old beige sweater before making my way from the room, tucking my wand in my pocket as I went.

Down the stairs and toward the kitchen, I could smell fresh coffee and cinnamon. When I actually walked in I paused in my step, Draco was flipping what looked like pancakes, a steaming pot of coffee nearby. He had dark blue jeans on and a tight white tee, a kitchen towel draped over one shoulder. I could hear him mumbling, an occasional curse leaving his lips as he took his hand away from the hot pan and continued his work, his back to me.

I found myself leaning in the doorway, watching his movements. He seemed so at ease, minus the occasional light burn he received from the pan. There was something rhythmic about how he worked his way around his kitchen, it was beautiful really. He plated the finished pancakes and poured in more batter, his shirt lifting as he scrapped what looked like the last of the batter out of the bowl.

Plating the last of the pancakes, he turned around with a smile, not noticing me until he was setting the plates at the small table in the room. He gave me a sheepish grin, "I hope you're hungry. Have you been there long?"

Pink tinted both of our faces, though I imagine mine was more red than pink as I fumbled from where I stood. His grin only grew as he removed the towels from his shoulder and gathering syrup and what looked like freshly cut strawberries to bring to the table. He pulled out a chair and looked at me expectantly, "Sit, the coffee just finished not too long ago."

Slowly I took the seat he offered and he moved to pour two cups of coffee. It smelled truly wonderful, "I didn't know you could cook."

He set the two cups down in before joining me at the table, "I imagine there are many things you don't know about me. For example, I know how to make a great number of dishes. Plum is a good teacher." He added some of the strawberries to his plate, covering his pancakes in them before handing me the dish and taking up the syrup.

I followed his movements, adding the same to my own pancakes and taking a sip of my coffee as he took his first bite. For some reason, there was something very personal about this morning, as if watching him cook and now eat was something very few actually saw. As ridiculous as it sounded in my head, I felt as though I were right. He wasn't putting on a mask or sitting quite so rigidly. In fact, he had one leg tucked underneath him as he ate. I watched him over my coffee cup, observing him. Eventually his eyes flickered up to meet mine, "Are you going to eat?"

I startled slightly, having forgotten my food. "Yes, the coffee was just more important than the food at first." He chuckled as I set my mug down, cutting into my pancakes for the first time. I closed my eyes as I took it in, "Cinnamon?" His mumbled response sounded like an affirmative as I looked down to the pancakes and took a few more bites. Breakfast was lovely.

"Plum taught you to cook?" In this moment, I wasn't as surprised as I would have been a week ago.

He simply nodded at me, finishing his bite and reaching for more strawberries, "Yes. She's quite a good teacher," a smile returned to his face as his eyes met mine. I was in awe at the changes that had taken place for him, his entire demeanor had changed. The man that sat before me was now someone I considered a friend, someone that I enjoyed being around, and someone that I trusted. Else I wouldn't be here. To let his usual mask go, to share this space with me and the easy conversation, he must trust me too. And that revelation felt bigger than anything else to me.

Neither of us looked away, but our eyes widened as the familiar warmth spread through me, starting in my chest and spreading like a blanket to cover me, he must be feeling similar. Something caught my eye above him and the golden light had returned, it didn't fade as quickly this time around, and when it finally did, the warmth remained. My brain kicked into overdrive as he spoke, "I suppose we should investigate more today. Hopefully we can find some answers, I might check some of the family journals. Never know right?"

Quickly we finished eating as we both pondered what new avenue to look toward and I took our empty plates to the sink. I rolled up my sleeves and turned on the water as he stood with the rest of the dishes and silverware, "You don't have to do that Hermione. I can do them you know." He didn't reach for his wand but he did press closer, attempting to shoo me from the sink.

I ran my hand under the water for a moment and then flicked a few drops of water his way with a smile, "You cooked the muggle way. Let me do the dishes. If you'd really like to help you can dry, plus I'm not sure yet where everything goes." He was so close I could feel the heat radiating from him, I wondered if he could feel my own? His breath coasted over my ear and I tried to stifle the shiver that ran through me. He had set the dishes down and picked up a dish towel, leaning against the counter with waiting hands. He was watching me as I began my thorough process, making sure each item was perfectly clean before handing it to him.

It was such a simple ease we had, not really talking much as I scrubbed and he dried. Toward the end, I glanced at his face and noticed his eyes seemed unfocused. "Which cupboard do the plates go?"

He shook his head a moment and with his guidance, we put the dishes away. The warmth had turned into an incessant heat by the time we were finished, and I felt like if it continued I would combust. I gave my hair a quick pat to make sure my magic wasn't sparking embers. It wasn't, which only added to my confusion.

He cleared his throat and motioned for me to go first, "The library then?" With a nod I led the way back to the pile of books I had pulled down inside the library. He took to the other side of the room and climbed on of the rolling ladders to scour the shelves of what looked like personal journals.

I took up my seat, trying to get lost in my research rather than observe him. Now that we had separated the heat had faded, and the warmth had dimmed so far I barely even recognized it's presence.

He took up in the opposite corner of the room at a desk that looked like it had been made for him, though thinking about that, it probably had been.

My pile of unread books quickly diminished throughout the day, as did Draco's. It wasn't until Plum came into the room bouncing that I realized how late it must have been. "Come, come, it has been since breakfast yous ate. Time for foods," she ushered us from our places and I realized it was probably good, my joints were stiff as I went.

The setting sun cast the dining room in an orange glow as we took our seats and began to eat. "Thank you Plum. I appreciate the trouble you go through," Draco nodded to her before taking another bite. Plum's face lit up with pride, "Yous just eat. You never eat enough. Same for you misses."

I smiled at her, thanking her before asking if maybe she had any insight on the strange light we'd been encountering. She seemed to ponder it for a moment, "Not a witch or wizard. Don' know if it's same for us or yous. If I remember anythin' will let you know. Plums is not having any know how on this at present."

By the time we finished eating I felt completely full but Plum stood in her chair and snapped her fingers, "Always room for Master's favorites." She giggled and picked up her bowl, scampering away into the kitchen. Draco sort of shrugged while I giggled behind my hand. In front of us were small bowls of strawberry ice cream. "I'm seeing a theme here," I said to him as I picked up my spoon.

He chuckled, "Nothing wrong with strawberry Hermione. Just happen to enjoy it. Plus, I made this particular batch, the muggle way." I felt the surprise cross my face as he grinned into his first bite. He became ever more intriguing as I spent time with him, learning something new. He was a book I couldn't put down.

After we had finished and Plum took our dishes insisting that we go back to our books, we retreated to the library. But after another coupe hours I shut my book with a quick snap, groaning as I looked at where my research pile once sat. There was nothing!

No bonds, no curse, no nothing that I had found. Maybe it was something new, something undocumented or unexplored. Or maybe we were just crazy! But I didn't really believe that was the answer. I rubbed my temples and looked up at Draco who looked just as disheartened by the lack of information. I stood, stretching as I went and walked to peer over his shoulder, keeping just enough distance that I wouldn't be intrusive.

"The only mention I found was in this journal, but it's difficult to read. It's written in a mostly unused version of runic code and uses French words as the base. Seeing as he was the first Malfoy in Britain though, it doesn't surprise me," Draco grumbled. The pages held together extremely well considering how old the book was. The date at the top only included a year, 1080.

I could feel my eyes widening as I took in the page and rushed to grab my paper. I pulled up a chair alongside him, "Are there any others in relation to this one? I'll help decode it."

He nodded and returned with a lighter grey colored journal in much better, but also much dustier condition. He set that one in front of me, "The one I hold is Armand Malfoy's journal, that one there is Ophelia's, his wife. The section I found in his journal mentioned her name along with a similar light phenomenon. Maybe she wrote about it too?"

I opened the book to the first page and was immediately confused, her name was the only word written in English, the rest was lettering that seemed to be the runic alphabet, but the pattern was odd, and nothing like Armand's. With our brows furrowed, we looked closer at the pages as I flipped through them. The way the pages turned, we were probably the first people since Ophelia herself to look at this book. For a brief moment I felt like I was invading her privacy, but the feeling brushed away quickly, this was our best shot.

"That hardly even looks like words! I wonder where she was from? Or maybe she was trying to hide her words?" I pondered for a moment and pulled my wand, maybe it was spelled? But nothing happened, the pages stayed the same. "Well let me put the other books back, and I will pull down some others to maybe help me decode her journal. You keep working on Armand's?" I looked up with my question and he nodded, "Let me know if you find a particular date range that it's mentioned so I could look for coordinating passages when I figure this out. Do they have any other journals?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment and then went to the shelves searching through a few before he pulled down a similar journal to the one in my hands, "The first page has her name. It looks like this is mostly recipes of some sort." He picked up a second and then a third journal, "These should be Armand's research notes. Most of the men in my family kept a general journal and one for any magical discoveries, and sometimes failures, that were not otherwise recorded. I imagine most of the old families have similar things."

He handed me the second of Ophelia's journals, it was in the same lettering, however it was much more distinguishable. The way the words and numbers were laid out, it definitely was some sort of recipe book, "Either this is a potion recipe book, or this is a long forgotten cook book." I smiled at the thought and shook my head, "I'll take these back to the desk."

He looked up at me as I pushed my chair back to stand, "We could pass notes back and forth if you stayed over here." I raised an eyebrow at how little space there was with me using the edge of his desk.

"I am not going to sit awkwardly at the end of your desk, that's just silly." Before I could say more he had his wand out and expanded his desk to fit two comfortably, "Well I suppose that will do."

I set the journals back on the desk and with a flick, the books that I no longer needed began filing themselves away back where they came from. I scoured the shelves for books on runes and languages. If Armand had translated from French to runic, maybe Ophelia had translated from a different language. I called over my shoulder as I came down from a rolling ladder, "How much do you know about her? Ophelia?"

"Not much. To be honest apart from my mother, I don't know much about the Malfoy wives," his voice tailed off and when I returned to the table he seemed a little lost, "Father only taught me about the men in my family, you know carry on the line and all that. And seeing as my mother was a Black first, she taught me quite a bit about the House of Black. Each member of the Malfoy line keeps a journal, but." He stopped and looked between the worn journal he held and the nearly new one at my seat, "I'd say only the men's journals are ever read." His brow furrowed and with a sigh he leaned back in his chair. "Think of all the discoveries that could be in my grandmother's journal, or before her, or before her. In fact, I don't even know what family Ophelia came from."

I sat with my newly collected books and flipped one open, "What about the other women in your family?" I skimmed through a few pages trying to find anything that might correlate to Ophelia's book.

"There aren't any others besides the wives," he mumbled. That couldn't be right. The Malfoy line only consisted of males? "If you look at my family tree, there is one boy born for every marriage since Armand Malfoy. So even though the wives become Lady Malfoy or Mrs. Malfoy, they all were born to a different family. I haven't found any record of my father or grandfather or so on to have had a sister. And I haven't found any indication that any of them had a sibling at all even."

The crackling of the fire startled me from my thoughts and Ginny's voice rang out, "Hermione!"

I stumbled from where I stood and went to the fire place, "Ginny! Is something wrong? You weren't supposed to call until tomorrow." I sat on a nearby stool, Draco remained at his desk, returning to the research.

"Hermione, Harry is coming. He wouldn't tell me what was going on but he is coming to you. Are you alright? Has something happened?"

"No Gin, I've just been reading mostly. Has something-" I cut off at the feel of the wards, someone was coming in.

"I think he's here Gin, I'll call you after," I stood, the fire diming to a usual state. The front door opened and shut and I felt the wards shifting back in place.

"Hermione," Harry was here. His voice echoed with his footsteps.

I hurried to the hall, "I'm here, Harry. Are you alright?"

Savage looked annoyed at the doorway, but Harry's face was stoic. He stopped within arm's reach of me, looking unsure with his arms half raised. "Harry?" He shook his head and closed the distance, pulling me into a tight hug.

"I didn't know. I didn't know," he repeated the words into my hair as he held me. "I've been a terrible friend. I didn't know." I didn't move, breathing lightly.

He pulled back to rest his forehead against mine, his eyes watery. My voice was tight when I spoke, "Harry I'm alright."

"It's not alright. I should have seen. How could he do that? I barely recognized him. I wish you had told me," his eyes were bright with hurt and worry.

I tried to move back, out of his arms, "Harry let me go." His grip tightened for a moment before lessening, but he didn't release me. "Harry, let me go."

I stepped back again, his arms falling away, my own wrapping around myself. A gentle wind whipped through my hair, though none of the windows were open, tears prickling behind my eyes, but I wouldn't let them fall. Harry's eyes never left me, "I'm sorry Hermione."

The breeze swirled around me, embracing me like a hug, "You saw them? My memories?" Harry nodded and I could hear Draco's footsteps moving just a bit closer, "Then you should know, that wasn't even all of it."

"Hermione," Harry stepped closer but the wind around me kept him back.

"No Harry, just stay there. I needed you to know. Ronald…" The words caught in my throat, and I coughed to cover it up. "He's not a good man. Something happened to him, he's twisted. I let him control me, Harry. For too long. And now I just want him stopped. I'm sorry that I didn't speak up sooner, that it had to come to this. I'm tired of hiding behind glamour charms and potions, I'm tired of pretending. I love you Harry, you're my brother. What happened between Ronald and I was terrible; three years of my life, I wasted with him. I'm ready for this to be over. Do you have any updates on the case?"

He shook his head, "No. He's gone out of country it looks like. We are working with the surrounding Ministries, but so far we haven't gained much information."

The wind around me began to fade and silence stretched on in the hallway before Draco cleared his throat, "Why don't we all sit down and we'll have some tea?"

Each of us, including Savage took seats in the living room. "We were wondering if you might have any idea as to where Mr. Weasley's preferences might lie outside of Britain?" Savage looked at me over his cup of tea.

I curled my legs under me before lifting my own, "Well, I'm pretty sure he has another house in Bulgaria. He spent an awful lot of time there over the last year we were together. He was visiting Bill and Fleur some as well, they have a second house in France I could give you the location."

Savage nodded and downed his tea, "I'll be outside Potter."

I sipped my tea as his footsteps quieted, the sound of a door shutting making me draw my eyes to Harry. He was watching me, probably noticing for the first time the way my body language betrayed me. He was leaning forward occasionally picking up his tea cup and setting it back down to rest a hand on his face. I could see the questions on his face. Why didn't I tell him, why didn't he see it, how could Ron do this, why would he do this, how long had it been like this? But he didn't say anything, just looked at me with open eyes.

With a small sigh I shifted in my seat, untucking my legs to let my feet plant softly on the ground, sitting up straighter I set my cup down. "I'll be alright, Harry. I always am. I promise," even with how rigid I now felt in my seat, I managed to give him a small smile. "I'm far more worried about his reaction to you and Ginny. I have nothing left that he can take, you have children to think about. Stop fretting. What's done is done. Once you and the other aurors catch him and question him, he won't be able to come near me again. And I won't go back to that house, I'll get a new one. And, I plan on returning to Hogwarts in the Fall, he wouldn't be able to reach me there anyway."

I gave him a pointed look and he with a small smile he sighed, "Fine. But once this is done, will you still come to visit? Or can we visit you? It's been so long, and we finally have been able to visit. I've missed you. You've always been the reasonable one, Ginny sure can fly off the handle, and the kids love you. Just," he moved to stand, "Don't be a stranger, alright?"

I nodded at that, following him as he stood. He stepped toward me but paused, he looked almost hurt, "Are you sure you're alright?" I closed the distance between us, giving him a gentle hug, his arms coming up to hold me as though I might break.

"I'll be alright Harry," I pulled back to look at him, "Now go home! Ginny won't be very happy if you leave her alone with the kids for too long." He gave me a long look before chuckling.

"Alright. You know how to reach me." He kissed my forehead and removed his arms from around me, "Later." He waved to Draco before heading out of the room, his footsteps disappearing with the sound of the front door.

I felt the wards shift and once they settled, I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding, my arms coming around me as I looked toward the ceiling. I would get there. A small surge of energy filled me and I smiled, looking around the room.

Draco was looking up at me from his chair, looking rather stoic. My cheeks tinted knowing he must have been watching me the whole time._ You don't have to be strong for him._

A memory came to mind, of my mother holding me as I cried. _"Your friends are lovely people, but if they think you're weak just because you have emotions, then they aren't really friends at all are they?" She ran her fingers through my hair as I sniffed, "You don't have to be strong for Harry or Ron or anyone. If you want to be strong, be strong for yourself. You don't have to hide all the time."_

That was just after third year, it was always hard trying to decide what I should tell her from school, with how often our lives were in danger, I just couldn't explain it to her.

_You don't have to be strong._ The words gave me a new feeling. I missed my parents, but I had mostly come to terms with the fact that they didn't know who I was. The memories I still had of them, those gave me hope.

I straightened my back and gave Draco a smile, "Let's get back to work shall we?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi guys! Man it has been forever. A lot has been happening, but that's not what you're here to read! Without further ado, I give you the next chapter!**

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I fire-called Ginny to let her know I was alright and that Harry should be on his way home soon before returning to my research at the desk. I flipped through pages trying to find what language Ophelia had translated from, it definitely wasn't English. It wasn't French, German, Spanish, or Russian. My pile was quickly fading. It wasn't until I leaned back in my chair that I noticed Draco's eyes on me. I straightened and smoothed my hair, patting down sparks that must have come to life with my frustration. With a sheepish smile I turned back to the books, "Sorry."

His answer was a quiet chuckle, "Maybe you should take a break? It's pretty late." I looked up at the clock on the wall, a little after midnight. "I would, but I'm far too awake. I feel like the answer is right here at my fingertips, I just haven't reached it," I picked up another book as I spoke, running my hands over the cover, "I wonder if she did this on purpose, or maybe it was simply easier for her." I glanced up at him, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Armand's journal is the only, of all the Malfoy's to be written in runic. All others are simply written in French and English, not translated to any sort of runic code. Maybe it has something to do with his move to Britain, as in maybe they were hiding something," his eyes were bright with curiosity.

As I flipped through more pages, pondering what they could have wanted to hide, I found a language that stuck with me. The book was old, it looked like it could crumble to dust in my hands if not for the magic holding it together. It was a translation book, trying to change Old Norse to English. As I inspected the writing, and compared it to Ophelia's journal, I noticed some small similarities. The way the spacing was on the page, the tiny flares and strokes of the ink. Even in another language, another code. It was my best hope, this had been hers too. Maybe it was her learning the English language, meaning she too had moved to Britain. Possibly after her marriage to Armand.

With a smile, I placed the book open next to my notes on the runes, propping her journal up as I scoured the pages trying to makes sense of her coding. Soon I was flipping through, able to understand the process of how she had dated the pages, though words were still hard. I must have worked for hours because the next thing I knew, there was sunlight coming in through a window nearby. I looked around to find Draco had fallen asleep in the chair with his head resting on the desk, his hand still holding his quill. The sun peeked through the curtains to reflect and shine in his bright hair.

I sat upright in my own chair and stretched, the chair creaking as I did so. Draco didn't stir, even as my chair scraped the floor, so I made my way to the kitchen. It had been a long time since I had fallen asleep in front of someone. With Ron, I never went to bed at the same time as him, usually I would be asleep long before he found his way back from the bars. And if he was home early, I always let him go to sleep before me. Those nights I often didn't sleep in our bed, for fear of waking him.

My time here seemed to put me more at ease, feeling like I didn't need to worry soothed me. With a shake of my head and a small smile, I moved on through the house.

In the kitchen, I found myself alone and my stomach growled. Might as well be useful, I can cook for myself. I managed to find everything I was looking for to make some semblance of breakfast, but before I got started I prepped the coffee. I cracked a couple eggs into a pan and warmed some toast as I worked. I listened as the eggs crackled in the pan and watched out the kitchen window as rabbits hopped through the yard to hide under a bush. Two young rabbits hopped out and around, clearly happy that their mother was home.

I flipped the eggs, then plated them with some warm toast and turned to set the plate on the kitchen table but I paused. I put some butter on the toast and carried it to where Draco was still asleep on his desk. I set it down carefully and walked to his side. Very lightly I touched his shoulder, the familiar warmth spreading through my hand, and gave him a gentle push, "Good morning, I've made you breakfast."

His eyelashes fluttered once before opening, and he looked up at me with sleepy eyes, "Mornin' already?"

I removed my hand just before he sat up, "Morning indeed. I've made coffee too, just forgot to bring it with me. I'll be back once I finish making my food if that's alright." He ran a hand through his hair to fix it and seemed to just notice the plate, "Oh thank you. You didn't have to cook but it looks delicious. I can come get the coffee." He stood, taking his plate and following me from the library.

"Sorry, I should have asked before bringing food out of the kitchen," I kept my gaze in front of me as we walked but I saw him give a small shake of his head from the corner of my eye.

"I eat in the library fairly often, you can take food wherever you want in the house. I appreciate the effort, Hermione. I just thought I would eat with you." I gave him a quick glance to see a smile on his face as we entered the kitchen. I poured the coffee into two mugs before handing him one as he took a seat and then turned back to the stove to create my own breakfast. "I feel like I didn't learn much last night, translating Armand's code has not been an easy feat. He described the light as odd, and curious. He talks about it with minimal detail at first, only really describing Ophelia. I'll probably need to go back a few sections to when he first mentions her and then keep going."

I nod as I plate my own eggs and butter my toast, "Let me know when he first mentions her. I feel like I haven't gotten far at all with her journal, but this is our best chance and I want answers." I took a seat across from him with my own coffee in hand, "I just don't understand. If this is not something new, why isn't it in any history books? Or any book at all? What if this is some curse?" I sighed and took a bite of my food.

"I doubt it's a curse, but I don't like not knowing either. Let's think here, if the only place we've found it so far is in journals, then it is probably some rare phenomenon that people do not like to share. Maybe it's something unpleasant, but maybe it's something good. Or maybe it means nothing at all and the secrets hiding in their journals are simply about how they came to own the land Malfoy Manor stands on and all the misdeeds that entailed. After we eat, I'm going to shower and then pick up where I left off."

I nodded, "I plan on doing the same." I tried to avoid meeting his eyes, just in case it really was a curse, but failed. The warmth spread through my limbs and made me feel as though I was being wrapped in a gentle hug, calming and caressing. I could feel any tension slipping from my shoulders.

He gave me a smile and rubbed the side of his face before motioning to my dishes, "I'll take those if you're done." I nodded and handed him the dishes before joining him at the sink and he handed me a towel, "Would you dry?"

I nodded again and leaned against the counter as he washed the few dishes we used, "Thank you, again, for letting me stay here. I'm not even sure I want to know the full details with what's going on with Ronald. Being here has put me at ease, and I feel so in tune with my magic." He nodded as he handed me a plate, "This property lies almost directly over a ley line, it's much easier to understand how your magic connects to you when near one which is why I had this house built."

"That makes sense then, why my magic has reacted so strongly. I'm curious, how did yours react when you first stayed here?" He looked up as he handed me the last of the dishes to dry.

"Well, it connected almost immediately and I nearly caused a storm inside the house, wind pushed unpacked boxes around even though all my windows were shut. I wasn't in a good place when I first visited, so everything was a little chaotic at first. But it was also calming, being here, listening to the creatures nearby. I was hoping it would give you a similar feel." We stayed where we were for the moment, listening to the birds outside. "After Harry and I started talking, after my break down, I needed somewhere else. If I'm honest, this is where I first started to heal."

His face became pink with the last words, but he didn't look away from me. This is why I trusted him. He opened up to me, showing me his vulnerability, hoping to give me the same healing place he had found for himself. I set the towel on the counter and took a step toward him, my arms raising slightly in question. He closed the distance and I brought my arms around him as his arms mimicked mine. I rested my chin on his shoulder as one of his hands gently rubbed up and down my back, "Thank you Draco. For sharing with me, for trusting me."

After a time we split apart, slowly releasing each other, "Also." I gave him a sheepish grin, "I might have caused a full on rainstorm in my room when I arrived." His eyes grew wide and concerned but I kept going, "I made sure nothing was damaged and cleaned everything, but the room still smells like rain. Not that I am complaining, but I just felt I should tell you."

He chuckled and swept a hand through his hair, "You had me worried there for a moment. I mean, I didn't notice it any of the times I walked by, but I'm glad. That's my favorite room in the house."

I giggled, "Well, sorry to have rained in your favorite room. Maybe we should continue our research?" He nodded and together we returned to the library.

Ophelia's journal was still difficult to translate, but with some work, I managed to finally get somewhere with it. The first few pages detailed her family, and that was only the first shock of the day. "Draco, what does Armand have to say about his first meeting with Ophelia?" He shook his head, "I'm almost done with that section. Why, what have you found?"

His gaze fell on me as I read, "_My name is Ophelia Aven, I am the daughter of Cadoc and Ibbie Aven. Ever since I was little, I had extra abilities that I did not understand. My mother taught me to hide these abilities and the villagers whispered that Volva, witches lived amongst us. Turns out, that's me. Neither of my parents had any of these abilities._" I paused and looked at Draco, "Does that mean, she was a muggleborn? Would that mean…?"

"The Malfoy's are not purebloods. Hold on, let me finish this passage," he continued with his translations as I watched him work. "_On my journey, I met some interesting individuals, but only a few stuck into my mind. Ophelia was kind; my father never would have approved, but he wasn't around to judge. Our courtship began but then something happened. Magic hunters had come to town, and in doing so they murdered many, both magic and non-magic folk. Ophelia had all but disappeared, and I had to do the same. I was preparing to leave the area a few days later when I heard her screaming. A hunter had her in his arms. He struck her, and no one was prepared for what happened next. Lightning struck a nearby tree on a clear night and the tree fell upon the hunter who held her. As he fell, she escaped his grasp and all that were near tried to grab her. Lightning rained from the sky, striking down all that stood to harm her. When I revealed myself, she cried, thinking I would harm her. But then I showed her my wand and lit my wand aglow. I told her she could come with me, I would keep her safe._"

"These were the first two Malfoy's in Britain. All this time, my family has believed they were pure of blood, so much that they preached it and fell in with the wrong sort. But this proves that all that we believed was wrong. What more does Ophelia say? How does she describe it?"

I picked up the journal again, "_Armand was nice, charming, unlike the other men I had known. His accent was new, and sometimes he whispered words in a language I didn't understand. But the time we were able to talk, the more I grew to like his presence. Hunters came to town and my mother tried to hide me away, I didn't even get to tell him goodbye. I feared I wouldn't see him again. And what if Armand was truly a hunter? What if he despised me due to my abilities? They found my mother, murdered her while I hid in the bushes. When I ran, they caught me. I remember feeling so scared, and then he hit me. The hunter hit me and I just couldn't stop myself from releasing some of my power. Once free I felt it surge again as fear took me. Only I was left standing. Armand came from the tree line, and I cried, knowing he would hate me, knowing he would hurt me. But he offered me his hand, he showed me that I was not alone. He offered me his hand, and I gave him a little trust._"

Draco looked through his notes, "Try a few months later, see what she has to say. I book marked a page somewhere." We both flipped through these journals, on a journey to discovering family secrets that had long been buried. "Hold on, here we go. W_e had been living together in France where I had been teaching her the language, yes I know it wasn't proper to live together. But watching her learn, watching her grow brought warmth to my chest. Together we were learning and both of use were coping. The hunters had brought both of us pain, they had taken both of our mothers from us. I couldn't help but to blame myself for them catching my mother; she was alone, my father had long since passed. They caught her when she grew sick, so I learned from an old friend._

_Ophelia was the only one I trusted with my secrets now. I was working with a new ally, trying to make good so that we could move to better safety. In the magical world, France was in turmoil and we wanted to live in peace and William was going to make that happen. Ophelia brought warmth to my heart even on the coldest of nights, and simply having her near could spark that feel. But what caught both of us by surprise was the light._

_It was a cool night, nothing extreme and we sat by the fireplace. I asked if she would sit by me, closer than we normally would, again, I know how improper this all must seem. But even though it may seem so, we held to traditional courtship, just minus the chaperone! I told her she didn't have to be too near if it made her uncomfortable, but she came to sit by me, and she draped the blanket she brought over both of us. And she told me that she wasn't uncomfortable because she trusted me, she believed even if we hadn't fallen under such strange circumstance, that eventually we would end up in a similar position, even if we hadn't been courting, we would still have grown quite close and been very good friends. And then she told me that she was glad to have chosen me to put her trust in. I had never felt more touched, my heart grew so warm it became more than me. A light so bright sparked over our heads and neither of us could look away from it. She didn't seem surprised, but myself, I had never seen anything like it before. We stayed like that, just sitting with each other, until we both retired to our separate rooms._"

If I hadn't been listening so hard for the details, I would have laughed at how he pointed out how improper it was for them to be living together, it made me wonder what Armand was like, and what he would have thought of our current situation. "Wait, did he say Ophelia didn't seem surprised? What's the date on that? Oh! It'll take me some time to translate, but I found a similar dated entry." Draco was able to translate a few more pages, looking for more detail on the light while I worked through my page.

At some point he left and came back with a small plate of apple slices and a glass of water, "You might want something to eat." I smiled and thanked him before taking a slice while I continued my work. Ah!

"Listen to this. _My favorite night was the first night our spark ignited. Velja is what my people call it, the spark, the choice. We have both chosen to trust each other. I've seen this only once between two other magic friends, and now I see it happen before my eyes with Armand. It is such an honor that he has chosen me, I am not even sure he knows what it means. This occurrence only happens when both have given full trust and care to one another. This cannot happen if only I had given him my full trust, or he to me. This will make us stronger._"

_And I think it will only grow as my love for him grows._ I didn't read that part out loud, she could have meant her love for him in friendship, but as they ended up married, I would gather that's not the case. I suddenly felt very vulnerable, what if this spark wasn't a choice at all? Though that clearly contradicts her description of the phenomenon. These answers left me with more questions, and a quick glance to Draco showed that he too was deep in thought. Maybe he regretted trusting me, maybe I regretted trusting him. Maybe I shouldn't be here. Maybe I was thinking this over too much.

I stood quickly, leaving my notes open on the table, "I-I am going to take a shower. Then maybe we should eat before we continue." With a quick glance outside, noticing the sun setting, I definitely agreed I should eat dinner soon. He nodded, his brows still furrowed as I left the room.


End file.
